You want to grip the pole with your inside arm (the one closest to the pole) straight and above, standing a full step away from the pole. If the arm has any slack in it, you risk injuring your shoulder. Grip it like a baseball bat (or a beer, lol) with all fingers around the pole. Your outside arm comes across the front of your body and uses the same grip on the pole, though not as tight. You don’t want to grip too tightly because, as you said, you won’t get anywhere! I don’t have much advice on how to not over-grip aside from experience and to keep trying it. When you get a spin with good momentum, really try to recall how that felt and repeat! Muscle memory is how you get things to look pretty every time.
For the sweaty hands: make sure the pole is wiped clean of any residue from your skin. You might have to wipe a lot, most of us do, so don’t worry about that. Wash your hands thoroughly before poling so that there is no residue from things like lotions, hair products, etc. Use a towel to wipe off your hands that is separate from the towel you wipe the pole down with. This will keep your hands free of any cleaning agents you’re using on the pole.
Keep trying! You can do it! =) https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_compress.gif