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Frustrated!!!
I am very frustrated and felt this site would be a good place to vent it out. I love the concept of pole fitness.I watch it on youtube religiously, I have a pole in my garage and I love to dance. However, I cannot find/keep motivation lately. First off, I have no close friends that I can practice with. Most people I know personally are too busy with their kids or think pole is for stippers. Any class I would take would be over 1 hour away and I work a full time job with 2 small kids so driving 2 hours to practice every week isnt happening. I want to pole consistantly and I LOVE it. but I really wish I had someone to share my interest with or some sort of outlet when Im feeling completely bummed. Maybe I can do it on this site? lol. Its just hard when you have all these thoughts and are so excited but you feel like your the only person in the universe who likes poling even though its obvious from the internet, etc that I am not. My job is very demanding physically and so are my children.How do you guys keep at it? What drives you to spend that tiime with your pole? What about eating habits? Do I have to eat my full servings of fruits and vegetables and go to the gym in order to progress at pole? I just feel so irritated with my feeling of "blah"
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5 Replies
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Hi Tabbers
I feel a bit as you do.. All the excitement of learning pole and the oh god, no one seems to share my enthusiasm thing and kinda feel why am I bothering..
It is hard to get motivated when your doing this on your own, I got myself a pole at xmas and bought dvds.. didn't really get on with them.. just recently taken up lessons but if I am being totally honest with you. I am getting more out of Veena's lessons on here.
We are all doing the same thing on this site and sometimes all it takes it to write a blog and you get all the inspiration you need to pick yourself back up.. Im 41 so find it harder than the young girls. I only have to watch a few vids on here of women older than me doing great poling and it kicks my arse into shape.
I am not poling as I would like and cannot get in to a regular habit . I did tell myself strength training Monday stretch the next day. Pole the next but it doesn't happen like that. Sometime I will go upstairs for something and end up having a quick whirl around the pole, I don't seem to plan it. And I need too..
As far as fitness is concerned I have just taken up Pilates which is good for Flexibility but its not a must.!! Venna has strengthening video's on here, stretching, warm ups, beginners moves, they are brill, cant recommend them enough.
Hope you find Inspiration from this site and can get a routing going with your poling
x
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Tabbers,
Recall back to what first made you want to explore the art and athleticism of poling. Remember the exhilaration you felt with your first Fireman Spin or perhaps the nervous giggles that bubbled out of you as you attempted a Sexy Strut. Relive those moments and emotions now through sharing your experience with others, such as blogging, journaling, drawing, photography, talking, etc. Once you recapture or flame your motivation, develop a plan to keep you moving. It’s very easy to get caught up in the “I’m not making progress” doldrums, when you are making progress even if only in tiny steps.
Perhaps make a list of all the things you do really well in relation to poling. You could even break it into sections such as strengthening exercises, stretches, spins, inversions, etc. Then make a list of all the things you’d like to accomplish with relation to poling, whether it is mastering a specific move or gaining confidence or practicing three times a week or whatever.
Now pick just one move or trick you’d like to tackle. Collect data on your present ability to execute the movement. Ask yourself some basic questions. Is it something you need to work up to? If so, are there smaller movements you can build upon to make it happen? What mini-goals and mini-successes can you celebrate on the path to “The Big One?”
Think of your goal in terms of SMART.
S = Specific. Be very detailed about what it is you want to accomplish. Instead of saying, “I want to practice pole more often.” Perhaps say, “I will practice the Fireman Spin five times a day for three days out of the week.”
M = Measurable. In order to confirm (as well as see or feel) your progress, the goal should be measurable. Develop a baseline of your existing ability to execute a movement and the ultimate target goal. For instance, let’s assume you want to increase endurance and are presently able to pole dance for five minutes before your body asks for rest. Perhaps your measurable goal is to increase to ten minutes. Each time you practice, set clock or timer so you can see how you’ve increased. Be sure to track your progress during each session so you can see it build over time. (Ideas for tracking include journaling, blogging, charts you can fill with stickers/stars, Excel spreadsheets, photos of progress, videos of progress.)
A = Attainable. In order to achieve the goal, it must be something physically within your control to obtain. This may mean creating a ladder of mini goals to achieve the ultimate dream. If, for instance, you want to perform inversions but don’t yet have the upper body strength to sustain holding your own body weight while on the pole then your mini goals should be steps to gain the strength.
R = Realistic. The goal must be something you are willing to work toward. If you’re goal is to perform tricks on a spinning pole but you are unwilling to face the fear of spinning then you’ll first need to work on the fear.
T = Timely. Most goals fail because they are vague and don’t provide some sort of guideline or measure. If you attach a deadline or date to strive for, you’re more likely to obtain the goal. So rather than saying you want to learn a Sail Spin, perhaps say you intend to safely and effectively execute a Sail Spin by XYZ date.
Another consideration with regard to goal setting and obtaining is accountability. We are more likely to follow through if we are held accountable for our actions or what we hope to accomplish. Perhaps find an online pole buddy or start your very own progress thread on SV where others can chime in to offer encouragement or the occasional kick in the rump, if needed.
Also remember Rome wasn’t built in a day. Pick just one item you want to work on and focus all your efforts on that one piece. Once you’ve mastered that one, move on to a new one. Attempting to take on new eating, and poling every day, and mastering 10 moves all at once is overwhelming and doomed for setbacks before its even begun. Start small, slow, and steady.
One final (and perhaps the most important) tidbit, remember to reward yourself! You are an amazing woman who wears many hats and fills multiple shoes. If you’re able to dedicate even one hour a week to poling, you should celebrate your commitment to that one hour and everything you achieve in that one hour. You deserve this bit of awesomeness and I know you can achieve it!
All the best,
Krista -
Girl join a studio. It's like a family. Unless you join the wrong studio, then it's more like Animal House.
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I can completely understand your plight. I, too, have no close friends who are able or interested in poling, and I've fallen in and out with it for some time. The last was the biggest yet…8 months off the pole, and I'm only just getting back to it. at least 6 of those months, my pole was actually down, and shoved in a corner.
Lessons are also not really feasable for me, as I have "history" with some of the girls that teach here, and I don't feel that they are teaching well or safely, so I don't go. I'd really prefer to do it in my own home, so that I know when I'm pushing myself too far.
I can also completely understand feeling a little overwhelmed. You may feel you need to progress quickly, get into climbing and above-the-ground moves in order to be "accepted" by this amazing online community. You may even feel like you're "doing it wrong" because you may not have gotten those amazing moves yet that you want so much.
Trust me, this is not true stuff. I haven't done ANY climbing, and I started poling on and off about four years ago, I think. Possibly three… But, anyways, it's not a requirement. Each person has their own journey, in life and on the pole, and sometimes one must remind oneself of this.
I agree with Thesoulstudio, talking about goals. I like goals and I find them to be useful to me, as I'm somewhat addicted to this "sense of accomplishment" thing. Perhaps they would be helpful for you, too!
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I understand the working and little time thingy but you need to make time for yourself. If you are going to the gym how much time are you spending there? Once a week or even dropping in once a month at the studio will do wonders. It really is not that much of a drive if it is something that you want. When I was going the studio was 30 minutes from my house, but I also work 40 minutes from my house, so on pole nights I drove 40 minutes to home, got myself together and then drove another 30. If it was something for your kids would you do it?
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