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how can i stop comparing myself to others in my class?
i used to think all the girls in my pole class were at a similar close level but now i feel like i am getting slightly behind on certain moves. I know people progress differently but i am finding that i am getting disheartened and i dont look forward to class as much now. I love pole and hate feeling like this any advice how to get over this?
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16 Replies
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i do have my own pole at home and i find this is where i am at my best. The class i am in is quite fast paced as the instructor prefers to go back to things on another day after a few attempts at it. I didnt have any kind of sporty background before starting pole so starting from scratch lol
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neither did I, and neither did most women who are in pole!
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I get like that! but what I do is write a list of goal moves, things I want to improve on personally and that keeps me motivated.
Right now a lot of the girls around my level are insanely strong or flexible and I am neither… so I focused on improving my spins and floorwork and grace. You'll soon realise everyone has their strong and weak points – everyone around me seems to be able to nail my nemesis move but they can't do a spin combo that I find really easy (and that makes me feel good hehe).
You'll find your own pace soon, don't feel disheartened! A lot of veeners have no sports/dance background, myself included, so never feel like you are not 'made' to do any moves, just takes time 🙂
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I have always struggled with comparing myself to other people in pretty much everything (piano, every sport I have ever done, school, pole/aerial, etc). I am trying to battle that because it is neither positive nor productive for me. Recently, I came across a very fitting Kurt Cobain quote (I find most of his quotes are pretty silly and affected), however;
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person that you are."
has really struck home for me. Let's not forget it! 🙂
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I was in a class that was progressing at a level that was uncomfortable for me. (bypassing safety and form) I decided it was not a good fit for me so I found a teacher that has a teaching style more in tune with my goals.
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Ollie, thank you! You have put things in perspective for me 🙂 I am an older poler, and have a heavier bone structure than most of the girls at the studio I go to. I find it takes me longer to learn a move/combo to the extent that I don't have to think about it (or psyche myself up) before attempting it. Sometimes I don't yet have the strength to do some of the moves.
However, you've reminded me that there is one area that I *can* do well in, so I need to focus on that if I'm feeling downhearted. Thank you again 🙂
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The best answer is stop! Never compare–there’s only one of you in the whole world. I’m a curvy, definitely overweight poler so it takes me more time to learn things. Just tell your self “I am presently struggling with _____” and set your own goals in your mind. Keep practicing at home and celebrate what you CAN do! My one favorite thing to do with the ladies in my class who can do amazing things is ask them for advice. Sometimes it takes a different perspective to find the mechanics of a move. We also have a gal who “came back” a few levels because she was struggling with the pace of her class. It might have been a point of pride to do it at first-but she’s right along with us now and can do some awesome things! Keep workin’… 🙂
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I tell my girls that pole isn't a competition, if anything, it is a solitary sport, like golf. You're really only playing against yourself by beating your last best score (or trick.)
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I try not to compare myself to other girls in my class but when I do I try and find things that I can do that they struggle with instead.
My friend & I are at the same level in class and she is generally better at pole than I am, but she struggles with the holds and hanging moves (ie scorpio, inverted crucifix) that I can do, and I struggle with the dynamic moves (shoulder mount, aerial invert) that she can do. Once I realised everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses I felt so much better!
I definitely think having a list of goals to achieve and working towards them yourself rather than at the pace of the rest of the class helps too!
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My friend PoleRaven and I have a saying for awesome moves that are intimidating or that we've tried and have yet to conquer:
"I can do that move–I just haven't done it yet!"
It's silly, but it really helps not to think of it in terms of "can't" but in terms of "can." Maybe we can't do it yet, but that doesn't mean we won't in the future!
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That has to be so frustrating… I'm sorry! The best thing to do (in my own opinion) is to relax. I'm sure that's easier said than done… but to me, I pole for MYSELF…not my boyfriend…not to compete with other girls…but I do it because it makes me feel good. I would definitely listen to my instructor and be open to what she says, but she is only there to guide you…not force feed you a new move. You will get moves in your own time. Just don't look at it as something that stresses you out. You are in control of the pace you learn. Don't let anyone tell you you "should" be progressed this much…but you are stuck right here. Dance for yourself. I looked terrible the first time I tried to do anything on the pole! haha I'm sure my bf had a good laugh inside, bless his heart! But I don't dance for him. I dance for me. So I forgave myself and kept going. Now I'm quite pleased with my ability. Have fun…but try to focus on what you are doing and sorta have tunnel vision…it helps me to envision what I'm doing. Even if there's a mirror… I ask myself, am I feeling this? Why not? You have to keep your eye on the big picture and on yourself…not everything that's going on beside you.
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If anything, id use this to its advantage… Seeing ppl progress above me would make me want it even more! That would be my motivation and my kick in the butt to KEEP going lol an go hard! lol. Youll def have a com back, one day youll wake up and suprise yourself with what you can do.
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Its hard not to compare, everyone does it. What I tell myself is that the reason certain girls who have been doing it less time are advancing beyond me is 1) they have less weight to lift and 2) they probably do an insane amount of working out which is why they are in better shape.
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This topic inspired me to write a blog, I felt I should share. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
http://poleupindy.wordpress.com/2012/04/24/maintaining-a-positive-mind/
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