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Mental game-face – Performance Theories
Ok so on the weekend I performed in a Pole Show Case (not a comp) in Sydney. It was a big event, about 200 people in the audience, featuring great pole dancers from all over (including Bendy Kate from the UK)! Anyway, I was super nervous, one, because it had been 5 months since I had performed on stage, and two, because I wasn't sure about my routine (you know I am more comfortable with freestyling rathen than choreo so I hadn't really planned all the specifics).
We got to rehearse our routine on stage once. All the other dancers were watching, so I gave it my all… I was in the moment, feeling the music, hence everything was a bit of a blur…. I was panting like I'd run a mile afterwards, and I couldn't really recall much about the rehearsal! haha So it wasn't that useful…. I forgot to do one of my key moves (spent too much time on floor work) so I told myself, Okay, when I perform I need to focus more on the routine and not lose myself… Also, for some reason my elbow grip aysha, which is usually rock solid, was all wobbly (I think the pole spun way faster than my one at home) so i decided to chop it from the routine.
My performance was like the opposite to my rehearsal. I thought about everything I was going to do ahead of time, so i didn't forget to do any tricks, but I wasn't really feeling the music at all, I was just going through the motions.So even though I executed everything well, and I wasn't as buggered afterwards, It felt a little souless and dull… 🙁 I've looked back on some footage of it and I think what went wrong was that I wasn't in the persona… I was so busy concentrating on remembering all the moves I wasn't able to really get passionate about them…. In fact, I think I looked nervous on stage!! Which of course I was, but usually I'm pretty good at acting confident).
So now I am confused. Is it better to be in the moment and spontaneous and raw or be prepared and organised and self-aware? Arrghhh I just don't know! I have to admit, when I do my best dances at home, it's when I'm freestyling and just feeling hte music and feeling emotional…. not thinking about trcisk at all… but it's hard to let yourself do that in front of an audience when you've got time restraints and expectations….. arghhh jeez, what do you guys do when you perform? I mean, what is your mental game-face? Do you choose a certain attitude/strategy?
Also, since it was a big event, I had made the conscious decision to play it safe and only do moves/tricks that I was really confident in. Therefore, I didn't make any mistakes, but also, it all felt a little safe. Now I'm regreting not taking more risks and throwing a few of my more original and tricky moves in there…. Do you play it safe in performances or push yourself? I just don't know…. it was a great night thoguh for meeting people and it's going to be a very good learning experience. Any feedback/thoguhts appreciated xoxo
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