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No clue where to start
So after many years of waiting I finally got my first pole. On my bday no less!
But after being discouraged about NO upper body strength I’ve only used it playfully for no more than 2 minutes like…3 times I gave up.
But I just got done with my “work out” with it just now. And I’m almost in tears at how I can’t do anything.
I know its going to take a long time to actually lift myself up and do anything.My whole sob story
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16 Replies
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Stupid phone. Ugh
My sob story is pretty much like everyone else.
I’m 22, overweight (I believe I’m fat) 5’7″ 185-190ish lbs, low self esteem, low confidence, too embarrassed to dance alone by myself. I’m also afraid of heights, hate spinning because I get dizzy fast, scared of being upside down.Overall I’m doing a huge contradiction of what I normally do.
Also doesn’t help that my mom freaked out on me for just the idea of pole dancing.
I can’t afford lessons for awhile so what can I do in the mean time? I’ve tried finding videos of what to do when you are at ground zero but I can’t do hardly any of them. 🙁
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Hi SpookyInk,
Don’t give up. I wasn’t able to do anything 6 weeks ago and have already come on leaps and bounds. Are you planning to go to classes near you of just pole at home? If you are just doing it at home (or even if you aren’t) I would really recommend Veena’s videos here. She has a whole section for beginners with fitness and strength training to get you ready for spins (which lots of people will tell you are not beginner moves).
Pole is a long, long road but the pay off is worth it. I find now the hardest thing now is staying off the pole on rest days!
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Weve ALL been there. Dont be so hard on yourself & def dont give up! With time, patience & practice the strength will come. Best thing to do is video yourself its the best way to see how you progress from week to week. Veenas strength exercises are really great too & help tons.
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The closest pole class around here is 6-8 hours away. I’m shocked that there isn’t one closer.
And I’d LOVE to have the lessons on here but I can’t afford it till I get financial aid or a job.
I just get really emotional when I can’t do things. I’ve been taught as a child that I basically can’t do anything, I’m worthless, and overall a failure. So I’m trying to stand up and force myself to believe otherwise.
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I was in the same boat. I'm 5'9-5'10" and was 183 pounds. I wanted to try pole lessons at my town's studios so I did an intro class. I was so discouraged. I'm a horrible person for always wanting to know I'll succeed at something before I'll try it. Our instructor did her demo and I fell in fan-love with her, her talent, strength, body, sassy, comfortablity with herself.
So I saved for a beginner's course (I did it 3 times) and after a year I'm getting comfortable about the whole thing and my skill status. Some things I'm great at, other things I excute like I've never tried to do it before and am wear 100 pound weights on me. I'm saving for a pole that fits my new high ceilings, mirror, and a recording device, I've decided that will help me progress and not feel awkward to 'dance for someone' and have them critique me.
I didn't have a pole at first but I did watch a lot of pole video's on YouTube, and did a lot of goggle searches on basic moves. Dirdy Birdy was my first fav instructional videos, studio veena has been the best overall.
What I knew I couldn't do were push ups and pull ups. So I would time myself for 30 seconds to minute how much I could do, and I recorded it, and recorded feelings of success or 'failure'. This has HELPED me see progress and feel progress.
For me diet has been my number one challenge. First I ditched the scale, I made a diet goal, like one week no soda, next week more water or only drink water. And progressed with eliminating bad adding good choices. Sometimes the goal of the week was to maintain the great progress I was making.
Keep a journal or blog, just make some time to track week to week goals and excutions and feeling/ thoughts on the success or 'failure' of it. Make other life goals, like: when I look at myself in the mirror, see what I like in myself versus what I don't like about myself. Or another one that helped me; compliment at least 3 people today. If you're busy focusing on overall improvement, mentally, emotionally, physically; you could see yourself differently and for the better. You might not be your fav pole star athelete right away, but you will be happy to work towards making more effort in pole and happiness.
Cheers to you for choosing pole as fitness and a damn sexy hobby.
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After my 1st class I cried my eyes out. I felt so fat, so weak, couldn't do anything and even managed to cut my foot open on the pole fixture!!
It almost became a feeling of "I'll show you" and although I've had slow progress I've now been going for 8 months and love it so much! Slow and steady wins the race!
Please don't give up. If you can find some bravery to post photos/videos of your progress you'll be amazed how much of a boost the lovely Veena-ers comments will give you and you'll soon be losing your self esteem issues! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_flower.gif
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SpookyInk, I have felt the same- I can sympathize.
I am still terrified to be upside down, spinning used to make me dizzy (and occasionally still does, if I'm learning a new spin), and if you want to talk about weak… I still cannot do a proper push-up, and I only just learned my basic invert, after four years of off-and-on dancing.
You are Amazing.
You are amazing because you're trying it. You are amazing because you recognize all of these things about yourself, and you are still trying- and even asking for help. You are amazing because you're right there, and you know that it's possible for you, regardless of what may be holding you back! And, you are amazing for more than that- so much more than that.
And yes, I know that I don't know you, and I know that there are so many ways for your head to twist things like complements around, and there are a thousand different reasons to disregard the encouragement… but I don't think you should listen to ANY of them!
I've been there, and I still am there. I've done it, I've heard it all, and I'm sure there is yet more for me to go through…But, what I said is true. And somewhere, you know that. Just like I know that about me, too 🙂
We're all here for you. We all believe in you!
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SpookyInk, you said you are afraid of heights, get dizzy spinning, and are scared of being upside down, but that shouldn't matter at all if you are just starting!! Climbing doesn't come easily to everyone, I still haven't practiced on spin mode after over a year, and it was months before I started trying to invert.
Have fun learning some easy spins! Just look up the names, and go to YouTube and find tutorials. Also, to learn some simple dance moves, watch a lot of user videos on here or watch Leigh Ann Orsi's channel on YouTube – she focuses a lot on dance moves. If it helps you to mentally categorize things to remember what you've learned, you can classify moves as floorwork, dance moves, spins, transitions to the floor from the pole, transitions to the pole from the floor, and so on.
Good luck – you're sure fortunate to have a supportive community here at StudioVeena! Don't be discouraged, many people here have learned alone and many others have overcome similar challenges! Others have given even better advice than I have.
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First off, you are not a failure and do not let anyone tell you that!!!!
I remember after my first pole class I felt incredibly weak and sore. I have been dancing my whole life and all of a sudden I was miserable at a type of dance? It was awful. I remember not being able to open a door for three days – literally. I work in the schools and I had to make the little kids open the doors because my arms would just give out on me. I couldn't even hold onto a spin for more than a second without landing on the floor because my arms were so weak. Needless to say, that wasn't the studio for me as they started out waaaay too advanced for someone like me who had absolutely zero upper body strength. This simple revelation was huge for me. It took me awhile to realize that while I have been dancing for years, none of the dancing I did required signficant upper body strength and I needed to start with that.
I would recommend using the pole to do some strength training while you get used to holding onto it. This can include push ups where your hands are on the pole and your feet are about 12 – 18 inches away from the pole or bicep curls where your feet are directly next to the pole, your hand is at shoulder height and you slowly let your body extend away from the pole and then bring it back in. Make sure for both of these exercises you keep your body straight. As you build up strength you will feel more confident with learning to spin. Also when you look on youtube look for basic spins that require two hands on the pole and see if you can find a few where you always have at least one leg on the floor. This will help prevent my experience where I just kept landing on the floor. Then as your arms strengthen you will move into spins where both feet come off the floor.
Remember that we all started where you are right now!!! You can and will do this!
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As others said, that you are starting is a positive. We are of all ages, weight, height, physical level here. As rewarding as poling is, it can also be physically challenging. When I started I was very active with weight training and aerobics at the gym. I was shocked at my first pole class that I couldn't even do a basic pole hold or anything!!! It took me months to learn to invert.. When I found studioveena I had to start all over again to go back and learn things correctly. So you being here is already a step in the right direction https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif
The hardest thing about pole is having patience and not comparing, realizing it all takes time and some things come easier than others. Please use the beginning of your pole journey to build strength and rejoice in each accomplishment as small as it may seems. The small ones turn into bigger ones down the road.
I haven't accomplished many things I would like or feel I should by now, but it's okay. I have fun with what I've learned as it's still a great workout. We've all started where you are and this site is the most supportive and encouraging. Join Friday chat if you can!
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You are where you are and each pole session you will get stronger. Work on beginner technique and don't rush to more challenging things just yet (not that you are, but just in case cause lots of us do!) 😉 Pole dance is so difficult and pushes us in ways many of us have never even imagined we'd try. One thing I wanted to say was that in your initial post you wrote that this is a contradiction to so many things in your life, but the interesting thing there is that this IS what you chose! You could've started running or yoga'ing or whatever, but nope, you chose pole. There must be some reason this drew you in…figure out what that exact reason is and embrace it with your heart. You saw something you wanted and noone, nothing should stop you. This won't be the same as everyone else (none of us are the same) and you will have your own journey. I'm restarting myself after a few months and feeling a bit lost too. Take care!
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When I started out I could not lift myself either. I was chubby most of my life. I couldn’t do rope climbs or anything like that as a kid. But I was fascinated by pole dancing. Anyway to make a long story short, I would attempt to spin for 6 to 10 minutes every day and by 2 weeks in suddenly I could achieve lift off for a split second. I was elated. So then every time I passed the pole going about my day I would do my half second spin. Which soon evolved. I have taught people much larger than me to get that first spin under their (garter) belt. It will come. I swear it will. Keep at it. A good thing to do is to find a video or book, or blogger etc that can give you exercises that strengthen the muscles you need to lift yourself and do all the other things that will be within your reach, soon.
I’m about to restart. I haven’t poled in a year. I gained about 30 pounds during this very trying time I’ve had. I won’t have to start at square 1 but it will take awhile to get back to a solid beginner going into intermediate level, again.
Best wishes!
Kisentia -
The exercises posted above are a great start. They seem boring but they don’t have to be. Putting on your favorite music and doing the workouts, maybe adding a little dancing in between will make it feel less like work. Great tips, everyone. Inspiring stories. Vent and seek advice. Don’t give up. (I should listen to my own advice and the advice of others) Don’t make the mistake of giving up on something that is fun and transformational in more ways than one. Most people that begin this dance form have been where you are now and have friends, male or female who are better and dont have to work so hard from the start. Don’t compare yourself to anyone and learn at your own pace.
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Wow! I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has been here. I’m new to the pole stuff too. Love this website! It’s been a huge help so far.
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Spooky you can do it!!!! Remember to always think positive. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheers.gif I started my journey back in Feb and couldn't do ANYTHING to save my life. Oh how I'd get frustrated with myself and be upset. But the gals here on Veena were able to help me and be a positive light on my journey, plus even had a couple of them make quickie videos to explain a move to me and that made a HUGE difference. We're all in this together!
I always mutter to myself "I refuse to let the pole defeat me!"
Don't be afraid to turn on some music, kick the bf/kids/whomever out of the pole space and let yourself go to town. Even if it's just holding onto the pole with your hand and walking around it, feel the music and let it move you.
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