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Needed a safe place to vent.
I don't normally feel the need to air my business like this but I am upset. I don't have many friends that I confide in so this seemed like the best place to lay my heart down. Sorry for ranting in advance.
My neighbors are having a rough time. As every other time they put themselves in a situation, I tried to help. This time he forgot to pay his electric bill and decided that instead of getting it turned back on that he needed to fix his breaker box first. Fine. Your decision. Own it.
It was taking longer than he anticipated obviously so I was nice enough to let them run an extention cord to my house for their fridge because he was going through so much gas and their generator was quitting on him. I had the notion that it would only be two days and that the refrigerator would be the only thing I was supplying power to. This is what was agreed upon.
NOT THE CASE.
They, he and his two grown sons, had the nerve to be watching tv on my bill. So I unplugged them.
The dad calls me and asks why I had cut of the power supply and I proceeded to tell him why.
"You misjudged my kindness and took advantage of me. If you would have asked, I might have been ok with it, but you decided to go behind my back."
He said he was going to give me money for my electric bill next month. He was actually thinking that I was going to let him run that shit on my dime until the middle of next week!!!! Mind you, this is a man who has a 1k bar tab almost every month!!! Yes, I said 1k, sometimes more. Why would I believe him when he says that he's going to have money to give to me. I am not stupid. He may not realize it but I know what kind of financial burdens he has. It was not even a week ago that his ex wife came over and supplied them with food on her last $50 for the month. Dad is retired from GM, AND BOTH THE BOYS HAVE JOBS!!!
So I made the decision to not go with that deal. He then tells me to get my shit out of his yard. Yes, it's his yard but I have been gardening, mowing, cleaning and playing in this space for over 5 yrs. A space that he could care less about. If left up to him, would be a jungle. I feed them from the garden all summer, I chop wood for fires, I cut the grass to keep the bugs away. This is not a small space. His contribution is to hoard scrap metal and throws it wherever he pleases.
So his son, whom I have been more than loving to for years proceeds to throw my kids' climber over the fence onto my deck at 1am and call me choice words very loudly so he knew I would hear them through my bedroom window.
My question for him. If he was not able to pay me, who would have to worry about that outrageous bill? Me! I am not about to let a drunk and his two irresponsible children put me in a place where I have to worry. I have more important thing to deal with on a daily basis. I am not rich. I live on this thing that people like to call a budget. I do a damn good job of budgeting and do not make allowances for idiots.
I am sad that I won't be able to garden back there and that my kids won't be able to play out there anymore but nothing is worth letting them walk all over me and take me for a fool. How does one go about overlooking every kind act done for them and use their anger over one instance to break a bond that has been there for years? I just don't understand how people can be so cold. He has said himself that he thanks God for what I have done for those boys and him many times, but one time I have to make a decision to protect myself and my kids and I'm a greedy bitch?
I know it's more the alcohol and drugs that do the speaking in that household but just once I would like to know what it would feel like to have civility and common sense speak instead.https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_sad.gif
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10 Replies
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Oh honey, I am sorry for what you are going through. Yes, in this instance it is the drugs and alcohol speaking. I am not sure of your living arrangements or the codes in Kent but I can tell you that where I am I get "code violations" at least twice a year. Last year one was a joke as it was when we had all sorts of rain and NO ONE could cut their lawn. The city posted a wanring on my door the very first day we had a clear day. They have not liked the way I piled my wood, they have not liked the way I staked the bricks I was using to build a walkway, if I have the slightest paint peeling on my house I get a notice, etc etc etc. That being said, there may be something you can do through the city. I know you enjoy your garden but by next summer things hopefully will have changed.
And there is no way I would have let someone essentially steal my electricity. I understand helping your neighbors but in this case they are using you for your kindness.
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Wow, the ignorance. Listen, I feel like you did the right thing. Maybe you can use planter pots in the mean time? ( i dont have a green thumb). Karma is a bitch and they'll feel it when their food starts going bad. You are not responsible for 3 grown ass men.
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leave your garden there, shouldnt be long before they move out if they can t pay electricity
are they the owners or just renting
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Are you in Kent or Brimfield? https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
Sorry….had to add a little levity to this thread!
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I'm in Kent Chem. Actually it's Franklin township. This is hillbilly central. They have been sited numerous times for having a junk yard behind their house. I am not wanting to get into legal crap. All I want is for them to get their lives together and not bother me or my family in the process. @Olivia….. They are almost home owners. Last I knew he was behind on his mortgage as well. If you saw the state of this house, you would not believe he was even living there or continuing to pay a mortage on it. This isn't the first time I have had a dispute with them. It always seems to come after I do something nice against my better judgment. Guess I should just let them self destruct and keep my sanity.
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And thank you ladies for reading and responding. I really appreciate it. <3
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How terrible! I’ve met people like that before… they believe that “the world owes them” and when they abuse the generosity of others and subsequently assistance stops, they take on the “everyone’s against me” and “i cant catch a break” mentality.
maybe you can try talking with him- keep your cool and be the better man- errrr um woman.
Try keeping the peace – i hope this guy is not a threat to you. is he going to hurt you?!? -
Ty Katana. No, I don't think he has the heart to do anything drastic. He's actually a good person. Just not in the right state of mind. It actually hurts me to be like this. I care more about those people than I should but that's just my nature to love till it hurts. I'm at my limit though. I can't help people that can't help themselves.
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You did the right thing Sweet D. The neighbour gave you no choice but to cut him off and should've been grateful for the time he did have using your electricity as that was not an obligation on your part. We teach people how to treat us. I'm glad you showed him that you will not let anyone take advantage of you.
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I agree with Katana. Circumstances can have a huge effect on a person's state of mind. I suspect that once he starts missing the things you did for him and his family, he will start to cozy up to you again. You are making the right decision. Like WL said you are not responsible (for 3 grown ass men, haha!) , but it says a lot about you that you care so much. Hang in there…
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