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dont no where else 2 turn..
sorry for writin this here bt facebooks full of back-stabbers and gossips. my partner of 7yrs turned and sed 2 me yesterday that he wants us 2 take a break and i have no idea why? i actually thought were gettin in alot better as a couple than we were, we still have issues regarding parenting but as a couple i though were were alot happier but obv he doesnt think so!!1 ive tried talkin 2 him but all he says is its coz i txt guys well sorry but why cant guys and girls be mates?? i get on better wi guys thn girls as girls are bitchy and two-faced and guys aint. i dont no wht 2 do, he really is my everything and my soul mate. its taking every last bit of strength i have not 2 burst out crying in front of him, i just dont no wht to do, i realy dont want to thro away the last 7yrs!! we have 2 kids also so its not just us in the picture.. sorry for postin this here just didnit no where else 2 post it https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_sad.gif
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7 Replies
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sorry to hear you are going through a tough time i think you should try talking to him again. When i first started dating my husband he had alot of girl friends and i found it very hard to deal with we used to have endless arguments about it and it wasnt until i made friends with a lad from work that my husband realised he didnt like it either. Jealousy is a very hard thing to overcome i still have a issue with it now so maybe you could try and reach a agreement. How would you feel if he had a close female friend? I hope you manage to sort things out x x
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trued that last night bt ended up arguing https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_sad.gif think it stems from the start of our relationship cz he cheated on me so i cheated back, we worked thro it eventually bt its startin 2 work its way back in to our relationship again!! jst really dnt want 2 give up on an almolst 8yr relationship!! xx
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I just made 6 years with mine. He proposed to be 3 weeks ago.
When I tell you it has not been easy. Its been a lot of hard work and compromise.
Do not apologize for posting this- I wish I would have had a safe haven like Veena.com when I was going through my relationship issues.
The first year of our relationship was hell. I dont even know how we continued. He ignored me all the time, and he was seeing other people. He says he didnt have sex with any of them.
He also threw his past in my face a lot in the beginning. Almost bragging about it.
I still battle with it… Im not gonna lie. We have done a lot soul searching together and it wasnt until the last 3 years that its become almost 100% better.
He realized the impact his immature comments had on me.
I guess the good thing about it all is he did not officially apologize until HE realized the damage it did… Thats how I know he meant what he said.
He is never one to say sorry if he doesnt truly mean it.
The point Im trying to make here, past issues will eat you alive if you allow it….
Its the worst feeling ever. It still impacts me today. I have to consciously tell myself when thoughts pop in my head, to move on and be thankful for the relationship we have built and have now…Maybe you guys need to dwell further into past issues and resolve them more. Its hard for me to say since i dont know the both of you…
If one of you still feel that you havent resolved the issues, it snowballs into giving up..
Even relationships that seem like the most perfect of all, have issues…
I dont think its easy for anyone.As for male friends, I can understand why you like male friends over female friends. I feel the same way.
But I do not have male friends on my own that arent friend with my man.
He wouldnt appreciate it and I sure wouldnt appreciate if he had female friends.
Not saying this is your case.I hope i could help, or at least express that I empathize with you.
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I was just going to read and run but I just wanted to put my advice in the mix!
Because you have both cheated on each other in the past its difficult for the both of you to see whether texting friends of opposite sex is acceptable. He is proberly overthinking about what you talk to them about etc. Are you secretive about who your talking to and what about?
The thing is there is guilt on his part for what he did this is often a problem in situations like thi, his guilt turns to jealousy aimed at you! I also get on better with guys than the ladies so I understand. I have a couple of guys that I talk to and my fella wasnt really pleased about it at first. I always make sure he knows who im talking to and sometimes loop him in the convo, for example… oh scotts got a new job but hes got to go up north blah blah blah. I also make a point of calling instead of texting as much as possible so he can hear what we are talking about. It seems stupid and a bit petty but thats what he needed to gain the trust. Be barely eveer asks who im talking to now.
As you cheated aswell (even if just as a get back!) this is another area of mistrust. You have come on from it so many years now but it is obviously still a problem. The trust was still bothen on both sides. maybe cut down on your text concos with the guys for a while?
In the end I think you really need to think about whats most important? If he means that much to you wouldnt you do almost anything to make him feel safe and happy with you?
On the otherhand men are known to say these types of things to pin the blame of the break up on you, he may not even be bothered but a coward you isnt prepared to admit hes not into the relationship anymore.
Eitherway you need to sit down calmly together and really root out the problem, sometimes a break can be good but communication is key!
I hope you sort it out I really do =)XX
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thanx for the advice 🙂 it just seems that everytime we try to talk about stuff we end up arguin, the only time we every talk it out is either thro txtin or thro pm on facebook bt hes doesnt have a fne and i can only pm him wen he has the laptop wen im out. i dont hide the fact that am txtn male friends thts the thing, and i try bring him in to the convo, lyk the other day my mates a stripper and he txtd me sayin tht he thinks his boss is mucking him about and that shes replacing him and not telling him and i told my OH exactly what he texted me sayin n what i sed bck bt he still doesnt like it. ive even offered 2 get rid of my fne and facebook if it will stop all teh crap bt to b honest they are my only contact with the outside world as i suffer from sever depression and lock myself away from the outside world for weeks upon weeks at a time and they are the only things tht stop me from goin mad cooped up in the house constantly. ive even sed we can go for couples counselling and try that but he sed were not at that stage yet bt surely if he wants a break thn thats a sign tht we are at the stage of needin a counsellor or some1 to talk to… some of my male mates do send flirty txts bt its nothin serious and wen they do start sendin dirty txts a ask thm to stop or ignore thm and they all know i have a fiance.. xx
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Can I ask why you do not talk face to face? Does he live away?
Its a very difficult situation to be in and I really feel for you Xx
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we actually stay 2gether but always end ups in an argument wen we try to speak. and the other times hes wrkn, he wrks 12hr shifts 5 days a week from 10am and doesnt get home til about 11pm-12am. xx
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