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Family issues
I have a removable pole that I take down when we go on vacation. I would love to keep it up but I have older and old fashioned parents and in laws who wouldn’t understand my love of pole. They come to our house to watch our pet when were away and the pole is in our basement where food/litter box is kept which is why i. take it down. I’m not ashamed but would like some ways to explain to them why I have my pole and put a positive light on my pole training. Thanks.
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5 Replies
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Grrr. Old fashioned parents!!! When I started poling I was very open about using it to get fit. I used words like strength and flexibility and made sure they knew I was doing it for me (not for my husband, the idea that strangely came from the older men in the family). Whenever I get the chance (without stuffing it in their faces- like on facebook!) I post videos of the girls that are real athletes rocking the pole so they know more about the sport. Maybe you could drop a few hints about how great it is before you come out yourself? Good luck
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Personally I've found that many older people these days are fairly open to the idea of pole fitness- heck, they grew up in the glory-grow-up days of Burlesque! Which, I will point out, is now considered a very different thing from stripping in clubs, and is also seen as something fun and exciting, while also empowering.
For those who associate pole dancing with strip clubs and other wild business, I would say that you should sit down with them, and engage in thoughtful discussion with them on the topic. Tell them how you feel (by using "I feel" or "I believe," things that start with what happens inside you, rather than what you assume happens inside them), ask them questions about their beliefs (Why do you feel that this is different from gymnastics? Does it always have to be done in a strip club? What if it made me feel happy, and I got a lot of benefit from it, like strength and flexibility?) so that they need to think carefully about them.
And give them time, and space, to think about it, if they need to. And, if they cannot engage in thoughtful discussion with you about it, simply ask them to accept that there are things about you that they may not understand right now. And, you can ask them if there is anything you can do to help them feel more comfortable with you and your hobby, or being in your house… without giving up what you love to do.
Parents and In-laws are people, too!
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I told my grandparents I was doing pole (they saw the bruises on the back of my legs) and I expected quite a horrified response from my grandfather- he is very old fashioned. He just turned to me and said “good job babe. I’m glad you’re doing something about getting healthy” and that was the end of it. Not the reaction I expected. He now frequently asks how I’m doing with it, have I learnt any new tricks, here’s some tips for blister and bruises, send me your videos. And he even saw my pole and tried his hand at a pole walk.
There was no ick factor for him at all and he was quite excited I was finally doing something about gettin myself into better shape.
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CloSmo, that makes me smile–sounds like a cool grandpa to me. 🙂
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Definitely cool but very old school! But he tries. I remember we once taught him the lyrics to Sk8er Boi and he would sing it to us and we’d be in gales of laughter.
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