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i want to move out so i can pole? reckless?
im only 18 and have been attending a pole fitness studio for nearly a year now. My parents dont know (very traditional- shook their heads and scoffed even when i showed them really graceful polers like anastasia skukhtorova) and i have a step dad who makes me feel very uncomfortable and if he knew i did pole… ugh.
The pole studio im attending now has 52mm poles so its very difficult to learn as im usually slipping and everythings very repetitive as its focused more on fitness than dancing and learning how to flow between moves (nothing wrong with that- its just not for me). i only go there because its $110 per 25 lessons, but i really see no progress nowadays. also it takes me 2hrs to get there 🙁
Theres one more studio near me, but they charge $500 per 20 lessons!! thats enough for my own pole!Im attending university next year and going to try to land myself a part time job.
i dont even know why im attending university, its just because everyone expects me to. The only thing that truly makes me happy is pole, and my ultimate dream would be to perform or to be an instructor.
Call me crazy, but when i hear some songs i have to stop what im doing because an entire routine is forming in my head and its driving me insane that i dont have a pole to try my routine out. I think ive seen nearly all of the pole videos and tutorials on youtube, and 70% of my head everyday is thinking about pole. Im going insane.Im thinking of moving out with a couple of roommates and getting a pole. Am i being reckless, should i wait till im like 23 to move out and get a place and a pole?
But everyday i feel so empty and like life isnt really worth much because i cant pole. I dont care about being rich, i just want a pole to call my own that i can practice on any time.
sorry if i sound overly obsessed and crazy :s
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6 Replies
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Is it possible to rent a storage space and pole in it? (I have no idea about storage spaces at all though – just throwing out ideas) or maybe rent time at a friend’s place to put up a pole and practise there with an agreed upon schedule?
Or find someone who doesn’t have a pole but would like to practise with you at their place, you might not be the only one at your studio that wants an alternative to a 52mm. -
Sorry forgot to mention the suggestions are for if you don’t move but can afford to buy a pole (kind of obvious I guess), but I wasn’t trying to ignore your actual question – It’s a big decision so I just wanted to offer some alternative solutions in the meantime while you are thinking everything over.
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@cherished thanks for your reply! and its okay, thanks for the suggestions. sadly none of my friends have spare rooms, and i dont have any storage spaces nearby for rent unless its a strangers house which i would feel very uncomfortable doing pole in :O
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One thing to consider is that you can make choices that steadily and surely bring you closer to the pole life you envision. But if you postpone college, or skip altogether, not only will it become much harder later to go back to school, but you will miss out on a multitude of opportunities to open your life up in ways you haven’t imagined yet that you are ready for right now. Don’t forget this very important thing: you can have it all, everything you truly desire. But make your decisions as carefully as you can. It sounds like you have a strong vision for your pole life and you can create that life. But a college education, even if you pursue it out of respect for your parents’ wishes, will never put you at a disadvantage.. it can only help you. Do both…life is long and you can have everything if you’re smart about it.
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Hey there.
This is just my two pennies worth, but I hope something in here helps you make a decision.
It’s tough when you feel like your actions will earn the disapproval of your parents, and you always want them to think the best of you. But try and remember that whatever their initial reactions, you’re their daughter and they love you, they just have their own views about the way the world should look and it will be hard for them when those are challenged. This doesn’t get any easier as you get older – you may always do things they wouldn’t do or they think aren’t right for you! Their feelings matter, but ultimately it’s your life and you need to do what you feel is right.
I think the other posters are right, there are alternatives to leaving home now. Having a ‘backup’ plan (ie. a qualification) is not a bad idea, but it needs to be something you’re interested in or it’s going to be really difficult to motivate yourself to study. There’s also little point in having a fallback to careers you’re not interested in! Look at your options, think about the subjects you like and try and find a course that sounds interesting. What about thinking along the lines of something that would compliment pole – something in health and fitness, perhaps? If you seriously want to perform or instruct, you can still follow those ambitions, but run them alongside: you’ll probably need to work part time doing something else in the early stages of setting up your own studio or while you’re training, if you want to perform.
There are lots of things you can do to train for pole when you’re not poling. Flexibility training and strength training at home will probably be more acceptable to your parents. Yoga and pilates shouldn’t cause any concern, but again will really support you for when you do get on the pole and start busting those moves. You could even try and find some contemporary dance classes more locally to help with flow.
Having a pole of your own is brilliant, but training at a studio has advantages too. You benefit from personal instruction, it’s safer (having someone to spot you when you want to try something new also gives you more confidence to go for it!) and you don’t accidentally learn bad habits you have to revisit later! If home pole isn’t an option right now, try and think of the advantages of taking lessons – think on the positives of what you have to work with rather than driving yourself a bit mad with all the things you can’t do.
No one else can tell you what the right thing is for you to do, but don’t rush to make any decisions without really thinking about all your options. Think with your head as well as your heart. A few years may sound like a long time, but it will go much faster than you think.
Keep bouncing ideas off us. This is a great community and there’s always someone here to talk to.
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thanks everyone for your replies!! they were actually very helpful 🙂
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