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Frustrated Poler
I’ve been poling off and on for 3 years. I’m at the beginning stages of intermediate. I get frustrated when I’m unable to do something and get discouraged. The biggest thing is I can’t invert. It feels like it takes me forever to accomplish a move. I don’t know if it’s my size or what.
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12 Replies
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Do you have Veenas lessons? Also, upload a video for some pointers…….
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I’m frustrated too. I’ve been taking classes since the summer, and while I have improved as my strength increased, I feel like some things are taking longer than they should. I am terrified of handstands. I just started getting comfortable with a ckr, while holding my foot, some simple spins are hard for me because I just can’t get my body to duplicate what my instructor’s does. I’m not graceful at all even with the moves I can do. I never was a good dancer, so this might have to do with the disconnect between what my eyes see and how my brain translates that to my body.
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Mz Key and Poleisnewtome, It’s important to understand that everyone progresses at their own rate. Part of an instructors job is not only to teach moves, but help dancers understand that these things can take time and not every move is right for everyone. There is no set time to achieve any pole move. If you are taking classes once a week or less you cannot be expected to progress as quickly as someone who takes classes 3 or more times per week and poles at home as well.
Mz Key, how often do you practice and do you have a plan for each session? In order to see progress you need be consistent. Also, if practicing pole isn’t something you have time to do 3 or more times per week, then it’s totally expected that most dancers will stay in the beginner to intermediate level, and that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with not inverting, there are many things you can do that don’t require inverts! Also there is so much more to pole than tricks, pole can be expression and a great strength builder without needed inverts or beyond. Have you tried working on the Combos in the lessons Mz Key? Have you gone through the 30 day take of program?
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I feel like I should weigh in here.
I have been dancing for 6 years now, and can barely do a basic invert. I spend hugely long hours trying to conquer one move, and not just because of a lack of strength or misunderstanding as to how my body works (which are both factors, let me assure you), but because of fear.
Fear means that I would rather completely avoid the inverted crucifix because it makes me afraid of falling, and of being upside down. Fear means that I don’t want to push myself too hard, because I’ve been injured. Fear means that I don’t trust my body when it comes to elbow/hand/head stands.Now, I’m not saying that this is your issue. What I AM saying is that everyone has their challenges! Some people can invert within six weeks of starting their pole dancing, but can’t figure out how to do a carousel spin. Some people can do a knee hold without feeling pain, but can’t seem to invert for the life of them. Some people get tricks like they’re nothing, but can’t make an actual dance out of them, or connect to music.
Your progress is YOUR progress. It’s all yours, and you fought hard for it. You worked for it. You made your progress real.
Getting it slower than someone else doesn’t mean it is worth less. It doesn’t mean you worked less than anyone else, or you slacked off somehow.
The idea of “should have this move in ___ time” is comparing your progress to someone else, and you need to know: Your progress is INCOMPARABLE to anyone else’s! Your progress is all yours, and you learned things that perhaps someone else didn’t.Which also means that maybe you have something else to learn within these moves that other people do not. If you keep trying, you’ll figure it out. This is the nature of humans.
I will also say this: Tell yourself you’re awesome, and that you WILL learn the things you don’t know yet. Instead of “I’m horrible at dancing,” or “Maybe it’s my size,” what about “I will learn how to dance!” or “My size is what it is, and I can already do amazing moves!”
You ladies are doing great, and don’t you forget it! Just by taking on the challenge, looking at something and saying “Yes, I will learn to do that!” you’ve taken a massive step forward. By continuing in the face of challenge, and of disappointment and perhaps frustration, you’re showing just how amazing and willful you are.
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Tacking on to what Runemist said: Your progress is quite possibly one of the most important things you will get. I have for most of my life been very uncoordinated and not entirely cognizant of the position of my body. But after struggling on moves in pole, I’ve become much more aware of what my body is doing, as well as what other people’s bodies are doing. Through my struggles to get into a pose, once I do it and it clicks, I often find that I modified the intro in order to actually work with my body. You may find that your body can’t exactly get into a move the same way as someone else, but try different variations. As long as you are secure in the end move and you didn’t hurt yourself on the way, it’s totally valid to do things differently. And who knows, your struggles may end up helping another new poler down the line with the same issues.
Good luck to both of you. Also, if you can post videos sometimes for things you struggle with, maybe people can think of alternate ways to help you achieve your goals because of an experience someone else previously had?
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Hi everyone! I’m new here but had to put an input on this thread.. It’s definitely important to sometimes look back at where you were when you started (even the simple things, like your walk, simple spins or climbs) and consider how much better or just more confident you are with those moves now. I haven’t been poling very long (I’m up to term 4 at my studio, so 40 weeks in) but have made sure to get a couple of videos as I go, so every time I feel really down about not being able to get a move (I feel like I’m never going to get my pole-sit) I look back at my beginner videos and see how far I’ve come with some of the other stuff.
It’s different for everyone, I was one of the first ones in my class to get invert but it took me 3 terms to do a fankick properly. One of the other girls in my class lands all the harder moves (jagged edge, layouts, etc) straight away but has difficulty with easier ones, so remember not to judge yourself against others too!
Good luck 🙂
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I typically practice twice a week, but my practices feel like they are all over the place. I mainly prance around the pole and dance. I do have the lessons. Maybe I’ll just take one lesson at a time and start there.
Thanks for the comments. I will post a video as soon as I learn how.
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Keep in mind that the lessons are placed in order and if you don’t feel like doing the 30 day program, try this. Pick a warm up or strength routine to start off with then choose 2-3 transitions and floor moves to work on and 2-4 pole move you’d like to try. Keeping order in mind and reading descriptions can help you chose what to work on 😊
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Interesting thread and interesting and helpful replies. Here’s my experience. I’ve been poling six months. That’s once a week. I’ve no home pole. In the early months I’d go to my class and be full of enthusiasm and joy at being there, watching my amazing teacher demo our tricks for the session. Excited to try. One girl in my class is a gymnast, nailing trick after trick. Others seem to pick stuff up quicker, prettier than me. And here was me finding it hard to hold a straddle 🙁 I’d leave in despair at the stuff I couldn’t do. It was all I focused on. I’d come home and say “jaysus, I’m the worst in the class… I’m literally crap, I’m a laughing stock.” Then something happened. I couldn’t continue with the negative talk, it was suffocating me and robbing me of the joy, the joy pole brought. So I stared a journal. In it was my training log, a description of the new trick week by week and a rundown of the stuff I worked on in the session with either a yes or a no beside it. Like a list. Guess what it shows? There was a hell of a lot more yes than no. For example: for six weeks the pretzel spin eluded me. Six weeks!! Grrrrr…. The difference in now and then? I didn’t want to give up. I wanted to crack it, master it and to hell with the taking 6 weeks. Another yes on my list since last night. There are still some no’s (hood ornament, am still clunky in my moves, I’m clumsy in Gemini to Scorpio, i have terrible pole face, embarrassed about my body, I can’t half flag due to a very weak left wrist and I HATE mirrors) but I see the good now in my achievements. I can do a nice aerial stag, I can do a controlled hands free, aerial cupid, a lovely pencil spin and am proud of my carousel. I’m 46. I think I’ve done good. Zen and the art of poling!
I didn’t mean to go on so long. Hope it helps.
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Thanks everyone for your replies, especially Veena. They made me feel better and put things in perspective, specifically how many times a week one would need to practice to see quicker results. I go to class twice a week and don’t have a pole at home so class is the only time I can practice.
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Poleisnewtome, you could try adding some conditioning and strength work at home to improve your progression! The lessons for conditioning, most strength and flexibility do not need a pole!
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Veena is right. I’ve been poling off and on (more off than on) for about 5 years and I’ve been a member of SV for at least 2 years. It wasn’t until the last 6 months that I really started to do the conditioning lessons. Oh what a difference they make! For example, I read about the 30 day ab challenge here and decided to try it. Before I finished the 30 days, I was able to dead lift into a shoulder mount; something I’d never been able to do before. Now I do the conditioning lessons a few times a week and I can feel the difference in my strength. Pick a few conditioning lessons and do them a few days a week and see if you notice a difference.
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