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  • Change of plans… The universe is in charge

    Posted by Stefana of Light on January 28, 2015 at 10:54 am

    Ohhhh man today was supposed to be my first day Of silks training, and i have a sick kid. Then reality hit. We leave to start traveling the first week of March, which is the same day as my last class. Also have to leave the class 1/2 hour early every day to get the kiddo from school.. And on top of sharing silks with an instructor and 2 others , doesn’t seem like much play time for me. So I think I’ll kindly accept the fact that now is not my time. As much as I want to have an in person instructor, I think for now I’ll dally online … Anyone have a favorite silk or hammock performer they’d like to share? Or instructor? Thanks ladies. I need to Shake this icky disappointed feeling. I’m headed to my yoga may for a little reminder of why I’m here. Thank for listening ladies:)

    Stefana of Light replied 9 years, 5 months ago 5 Members · 23 Replies
  • 23 Replies
  • AllysonKendal

    Member
    January 28, 2015 at 11:38 am

    ** hugs ** I had a bit of a rough morning myself… and I really like your attitude on acceptance. I’m working on it.

    Re silks: I feel your pain. I’m having a bit of a interesting scheduling bumps in the road too.

    Occasionally I go to things on MeetUp.com… there are a lot of events happy hours and stuff, but I try and attend the more active ones not centered around eating fried food and drinking (though that can be fun sometimes). I signed up last week for an aerial class (silk and lyra) on Feb 1st.

    Most events have like 10+ people sign up for them… This one only has me and one other girl attending! The other girl is the one who suggested and is hosting the event (her friend is teaching the class)

    It’s almost an hour away… and now it turns out my husband wants to have friends (and their wives) over for the Superbowl… and while I’ll be home before 5 I don’t want to just run off to shower while everyone is here. And he wants me to help get ready.

    So I asked her since it’s just us if we can move it earlier, if possible, and she has been non-responsive. Now I’m kind of thinking she is going to just cancel it since it didn’t get a big crowd. I’m certainly not driving an hour on Super Bowl sunday if the host doesn’t at least write me back. People tend to flake on you all the time with these things.

    It’s a bummer because I got all excited, especially because you seemed to like it so much.

  • Stefana of Light

    Member
    January 28, 2015 at 1:11 pm

    Oh AK totally feel your pain there lady! You will love it!! I have to surrender and my universe is very giving. Just a few moments ago the silks instructor sent me a text asking if she could come play on my pole…
    Surreal. Feeling a bit airy. Wow the skies told me this week was not kidding and I see. so here’s to my squirrel brain trying to help an already strong and flexy lady with here first day on the pole:) She will be signing up for your free trial when she gets here Veena. Thanks for the support Allyson. Hope to meet your pretty face one day!

  • AllysonKendal

    Member
    January 28, 2015 at 1:29 pm

    💕 love how things work out!

    My puppy got out this morning because the gate wasn’t shut correctly because the lock was frozen. I’m not sure how long she was gone. It ended in tears with me finally grabbing her while BAREFOOT in a foot of snow along a busy road while a somewhat helpful woman tried to help but kept scolding me for not being more careful and meanwhile the dog is barking and my son is crying. But I’m happy the lady stopped and chased her back. That’s how we knew she was out.

    It was just so stressful and terrifying. I can’t shake it. I’m happy she is ok. The lock has been addressed (and we added another lock) and I signed up for puppy class on Friday. She is good, but so playful and curious… And I guess it was a good lesson and everything is ok… But I’m trying to shake the fear and adrenaline. Pole class will be good for me tonight.

    I love how the universe is sending good things your way. You trusted in the process, it’s beautiful. I keep reading about surrendering and trusting. It’s something I need to work on.

    I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time poling with the silks instructor. I Bet you can even get her to show you a thing or two on the hammock if you’re showing her pole. What fun!

    If I ever make it out to ND I know where I’m coming for a pole jam (and maybe even a tattoo 😜)

  • Stefana of Light

    Member
    January 28, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    Wow ak that is a lot!!! Stress is so bad for us, I’m learning how to accet the acceptable. That’s where the pains and discomfort lies for me in life. The fight. I’ll share my recent tattoo that i got for this reason. I realized this last year that mentally and spiritually I’ve been very unhealthy. Not having pole made it hard to connect but I needed to lose pole to learn my real connection , if that makes sense Then one day i was driving listening to one of my favorite songs “tonight and the rest of my life ” my Nina Gordon. These are lyrics from her song. HEAVY THINGS WON’T FLY
    His has nothing do do with Bodyweight and everything to do with the mental weight that comes with the thinking mind. Let it go. And a new favorite saying is
    … stop getting in your way
    …. Get out of your way. A Gaiam instructor Gloria Latham said that as I’m doing the breath of fire … Crying. … Surrendering.
    Ak thank you so much for that yoga challenge that you shared in nov , turned a new leaf for me and I will thank you for that forever;)

  • Stefana of Light

    Member
    January 28, 2015 at 4:46 pm

    Well she was a natural. Wow! Seeing her whip in and out of those shapes was unreal. She mentioned it is a bit rough on the body;) I told her – no worries tomorrow you’ll love those bruise badges!!!!
    She gave me some tips on toe pints as well, which for me has been a long painful road. Sure feel blessed to have been given the opportunity to play with another fellow apparatus lover. Silks, Hammock, pole! Whatever. Movement:) can’t wait until I can visit some of you lovely Veeners some day!!

  • AllysonKendal

    Member
    January 28, 2015 at 7:33 pm

    Thank you so much, reading your tattoo brought a tear to my eye. It’s so very true. I”ve probably heard that song a billion times but never *really* listed to it. It’s really powerful.

    Right now I’m sporting a fake tat of a lobster…(ordered because of all the lovely tattoos I see on polers) I’ve always felt lobsters and I were kindred spirits. But I’m kind of wondering if that’s not such a good thing. Maybe I need to be a jellyfish or something that just goes with the waves. Weightless and free. Like how you dance. 🙂 but until I learn to just let go, I’m a spiney, pinchey, hard on the outside, delicious on the inside, lobster.

    I love that you had a good time with your silks instructor. Its great to have pole buddies 💕 especially ones who can handle a little bruising.

  • AllysonKendal

    Member
    January 28, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Here is a pic just cause I do think it’s cute.

  • Stefana of Light

    Member
    January 28, 2015 at 8:33 pm

    That is a cute little sorta tattoo 😉 I’m glad I could share that with you ;):) your words are so sweet Allyson!! I agree rolling with the waves is always best. We were built to fight .. It’s just choosing the battles. Have you tried kundalini ? I started it this month. Much behind it with chakras and some chanting. It’s been really powerful, cleansing, supportive, barrier breaking for me. Wow. I still love a good hatha or vinyasa flow , but right now it feels like my practive is reaching for kundalini. The energy it’s creates is intense and pure. thought I’d share where your sharing of a yoga challenge has led my practice !

  • I polekat I

    Member
    January 29, 2015 at 5:45 am

    aaah I really needed to read that today ladies, thank you!!! =) im sat here in work stressing my head about people chasing me to chase up other people, I’m having a bit of a flustering week in general….my lovely boyfriend is doing a training course in the same city where I work, so this week he has been travelling in with me on the train and I have been meeting him for lunch. it has been really lovely to spend that extra bit of time with him, but it means I have been extra stressed in the morning trying to frogmarch him out the door on time, then can’t sleep on the train cos he is too fidgety hehe =P and instead of my usual lunchtime gym workout then nice healthyish food I have just been meeting him for a quick sandwich (his break is too short for us to exercise together, and his break is also much earlier than I usually go) so it means I am suffering at my desk in the afternoons !! =/ then the mad rush at the end of the day to try meet him and get to the train on time =S gaaaahhhh I feel like such a miserable bitch complaining because it is lovely to see him during daylight hours haha and I know its only a week but it has taken me right back to how awful I used to feel all day in work when I was eating lots more junk food and not exercising… I was so sluggish and tired and grumpy =/ we even got in a stupid fight at lunchtime yesterday cos I was feeling harassed and crappy. (BUTTTT I realised today it has just served to illustrate how much better / happier I feel nowadays with a good gym and stretch routine and it shows me how far I have come since how miserable I was in work before I made those positive changes!!! =D so not all bad ! )
    and there’s a bit of turmoil in my pole world at the moment… which is my happy place dammit! I am not sure how to deal with my situation so I am feeling mighty conflicted, my head is all over the place at the moment =/ its lovely to read your words of encouragement and it helps me to remind myself I just need to find my equilibrium in all this chaos, to be calm and not stress and trust that these difficulties will pass and I will learn something from it all. Heard a phrase the other day which stuck in my mind – when things are going wrong instead of asking ‘why is this happening to me??’ ask ‘why is this happening FOR me??’ puts a whole new slant on it =)
    and shoog i have heard u mention kundalini a few times recently, i have a dvd of that but whenever i tried it i couldnt keep up!! ive not practiced this style of yoga before, its much more… kinetic?? than my weekly yoga class!!! but you have inspired me to give it another chance =)
    hope you have a lovely day beautiful ladies =D

  • Stefana of Light

    Member
    January 29, 2015 at 8:21 am

    Polekat- you are so right! I feel so much better when i fuel and refuel my body. Other people’s plans can conflict that and that feels mighty self deprecating , i agree! But until you’ve had it in your life it doesn’t make sense. So to the boyfriend he may be clueless. I know I’m the same if I can’t get self love in the mind is much more negative. Enjoy him while you can and know your routine will be all yours wen he’s gone, maybe then will and idea of balance come to mind for how to fix that next time 🙂
    As for the kundalini idk what pace yor dvd is ..
    I’ve done several. Some are more jntwnse with lots of running, pounding, chanting. Some are now chill with none of the above. – – after my first reiki session I ourchased a book called hands of light. Healing through energy , chakra work. I also became really close friend with the lady that did my session. So she’s taken me under her wing as an “apprentice” of sorts. Not much to teach in this field , most much be observed and cultivated on ones own. However being able to talk about energy and spirituality in and extensive version has been mind blowing. I Also have been paying more attention to the sky. New and full moon can help us release and receive , or at least get us going in that direction, as long as intention is pure. Ok that’s enough I could go for hours. Yoga led me to meditation meditation has provided a place of stillness where all things physical dissolve away and the mind body and soul stop fighting for a period of time. The thinking mind can be a cruel place to live. I choose to make mine pretty with loving thoughts as much self care and love as k need in one day. That way the people around me that matter the most tag full and happy as well. Me first. Always. Not in a bitchy selfish way, but that is my thoughts. When I wasn’t taking care of myself i had very little to give, now there is abundance. If it’s good for me it’s good for them and vice versa!!

  • I polekat I

    Member
    January 29, 2015 at 10:28 am

    what a wonderful response thank you =)
    ooooh yes reiki is amazing!!! i love that too. i have also been trying to meditate recently, always very hard for me to quiet my over-active mind but i am getting there… =) and yes spot on, i have found lately the more ‘selfish’ i am with my time and energy the better it is for me – i have always been one of those people who bend over backwards to accommodate other people esp my friends, and it often leaves me feeling drained and taking part in activities when i’d rather just be at home lazing =< (or poling hehe) Learning to say 'no' more has been very empowering for me!!! as has the realisation that it doesnt make all my frineds hate me =P and the happier i am inside the more i feel i then have to give to others , and i can do it willingly rather than feeling obliged to... my dvd was quite simple movements, but fast and a lot of repetitions - i think the breathing is a big part of it as i always struggle with that anyway!! but it is a happy struggle =) i am loving how my body mind and soul are all responding to me nurturing them with pole, yoga, stretching and exercise, plus trying to be more conscious of what i eat, and being more aware of giving away too much energy =) and i am making more effort to tackle my problems head on if i can, i need to stop shying away from being honest when it is required..i tend to avoid conflict with people but sometimes this leads to my personal inner conflict... realising this and addressing it is something i also feel i am getting stronger in... slowly!!! =D "give me the strength and courage to change what i can, and the wisdom and peace to accept what i cannot"

  • Stefana of Light

    Member
    January 29, 2015 at 11:51 am

    Thank you for that as well I needed to hear that, I also hold things in jn fear of hurting or upsetting other , know I see that makes me ill in many ways. That’s a current struggle for me also , when I seen my reiki lady last week she said my throat needs love. Mmmmhmmmm. Yes i have been neglecting speaking my truth because i don’t trust and respect my own opinion, my true intuition. Lovely to relate and chat with you. We seem to be on a very similar journey , as many soulful women are as well. It’s like the pole woke something up in me that has led to so much self discovery and breaking down of ideals. I also recently let go of 2 friendships that to me were very dear but now that I have ended them i see were one sided and empty. Also i gained a new understanding of clearing out old non serving behaviors and making space for the new!! I didn’t understand energy exchange and control battles until i started to read The Power Of Now. Wow that book was a game changer for me , still is. It’s a book that if you are open it will stop you so you can process the truth and insight that it stirs up inside you. So good. 🙂

  • AllysonKendal

    Member
    January 29, 2015 at 6:49 pm

    Ok, you guys are seriously so amazing. I was just waiting for my day to calm down so I could sit and read all this amazingness and respond!

    Shoog, I’ve never tried kundalini. I will check it out because it sounds really great. I love yoga, but I need to get back into it. So here in brief is my yoga journey… I started going to those MeetUp events, the best one were free yoga meet ups. They happen like once every month or 2. Different studios hosted and they are cool places… like the art museum, or gardens. I really liked it. Especially the ones in the garden. That instructor was magical. From some of the people there I was informed that Lulu Lemon had (free) yoga each Sunday morning. So I decided to give that a go with a new friend I’d met (outside of the MeetUp circle)

    We started going in the summer and while we didn’t go EVERY week. We tried to go as much as possible. It was always a really nice stretch and I felt good and relaxed afterwards. Then the magical instructor came and did a class at Lulu.. and I like really fell in love with her again. The flow was amazing, and she just beams positive energy. When in savasana she put her hands on my face and it was so powerful. I tried to get my friend to come to her studio with me, but she isn’t interested in paying.. she just wants to keep going to free yoga (She didn’t find it as magical as I did anyway). So I was fine with that… but lately the vibe at Lulu changed and people have been quite rude. And it’s really put me off. However my friend still wants to go, and I feel kind of bad ditching her to go to a studio when she doesn’t want to. (I think this ties in with PoleKat’s putting others before ourselves)

    I really need to get back into it, but I really have felt a bit bitter the last few weeks and how snoody and rude people were (it’s Princeton, so it can be a rich snobby town university town, I’m used to it.. but this was more then normal, and it wasn’t the young people. It was the middle aged women who were just rude). I might just try a class with the instructor I like on my own and see how I feel. Find my yoga bliss again.

    I’d really like to incorporate it into my daily life more. I was doing great with the yoga challenges and loving them, but I was burning out a little… and now with the pole challenge it’s a lot.
    And sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on pole with yoga. Plus I also have some strength training I’ve been meaning to do. Sigh! I guess these are good problems to have in the scheme of things.

    PoleKat, I completely sympathize! I had people visit for 2 weeks in Dec and while I loved the visit I just needed my normal routine and my Me-time. It was very hard and stressful. *hugs*

    I think we are all on this search for that balance. I love all your words and I think I need to re-read both of your responses like a million more times and absorb all your loveliness!

    Singing now…
    *** And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back. So shake him off *** 🙂

  • Tamarinda

    Member
    January 29, 2015 at 10:04 pm

    I loved reading through this so so much. I used to be a lazy couch potato and I believe pole has made me a healthier person inside and out. I believe it came to my life to be a building block for other things. Recently I have been wanting to get in touch with my spiritual side I have been reading books about the power of energy, meditation, chakras, and the importance of mind and body alignment. If you talk to the general public about those things they look at you funny and think I’m some kind of hippy weirdo so i dont mention it. I really wish I had someone to take me under their wing. I would like to start new practises like yoga and such but lately my schedule has been killing me and taking a toll on my body health and it’s been pushed to the back burner. I still try and workout to keep my strength up but it’s not the same thing as having time and not feeling like I have to rush through it. It really bothers me. This semester I’m taking 6 classes and then have been working 6 days a week (it will slow down soon and was due to being understaffed). I love my job and the environment thankfully. But I’ve been so stressed lately and feeling like people just don’t understand or acknowledge my efforts I suppose. Nt at work, I love my job. Other places though, like pretentious teachers who think i just walk in their class and thats the only place ive been other than partying (I do not have the time or money). and maybe students who are parent funded and dont have to work, they don’t understand me and they have nothing to complain about. I just feel very misunderstood and unhappy. Im quite unhappy lately but I know soon I will have the time to reconnect with myself. I just needed to get that off my chest lol. I’m glad you guys talk so openly about spirituality and stress.

  • Stefana of Light

    Member
    January 30, 2015 at 8:08 am

    AK- that can be discouraging. Some times people get on the right path and then think that because they live that way they are better or more educated , or start preaching it and literally forget to walk it because they are so busy advising outwardly. I have realized recently there is a huge difference in intellectual smarts…. And the intuition smarts. The truth and insight that we’ve always had , we just need reminded that we are limitless and infinite , and that the laws of the universe are always in affect. Intention and karma.
    I did a 66 minute kundalini full body tune up last night. Intense. Cried a few times. We chanted har hari – creative infinity. Pretty sure yoga has entered my being:)
    Tamarinda – that can be a discouraging way to be seen and degrading in a way. People never understand another’s situation , how could they. If we don’t have love and compassion for ourselves we spew that out into the world. I can relate in a different sense. When i had my first baby the way people treated me was crazy …. I literally would come home fri the shore in tears because of the looks and remarks i would get from my tattooed vessel. For a period of time I even felt guilt that I was putting my bang through that criticism as well. But then thankfully I shook that 😉 kinda Hard to believe that outsiders have even the slightest clue of what I’m made of 😉 Same for you. People assume assume and that’s the lazy way of just being an ignorant non caring human. I’ve realized we fear what makes us uncomfortable and for some people that’s a lot of things !! I choose breath, come back to breath as many times in the day to stay connected to myself. Just being mindful makes so many negative emotions fade away. All we have is now. Now now. Oooop there it went !! We get this one try. (Even though I believe in past lives 🙂 now is what we have to make every day full of love and light, not waiting for the weekend or day to end or even that big vacation or new shoes not letting those things create false joy, true Joy lives within us all the time we just have to silence the mind a monster to realize it’s always there. And we can always tap into our power, however we decide that thought by thought 😉 you lovely ladies are awesome to chat with !!!

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