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APFA donation turned away by charitable, called “stripper money”
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I agree with ThePoleDancers final paragraph. Thats what got me thinking about the whole thing. I dont know about APFA but when I ran my Battle event, I contacted the possible recipents first. That way they can check my website and credentials I provided incase they did not like the idea. Once they approved, I could have thier logo and I used it on everything for press reasons – flyers, website, promos for the event. In return, they used my logo and event info on thier site.
I dont know the whole story so I cant make a whole hearted comment about the situation. But who knows where the hole in the story lies (if there is one). While I say its sad to see an organization turn down a donation of any kind. Breast Cancer hits home for me as well (my grandmother was a BC survivor before her death in 2006, yesterday was the 5yr anniversary of her death) and I want every woman to be able to get all the help that they can find for this.
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On a personal note – totally a personal observation here…
I WISH breast cancer associations would be more open to the pole dancing community. The one thing I have come to know about the men and women who participate in this and other communities is that pole dancers want to help. The mission statement of MOST studios is to in some way empower women. Isn't that also what for the most part Susan G or NBCF is about, as well?
I question the motives and ethics of someone who would grossly overstate this particular issue and create a frenzy of unsettled pole dancers. I do not agree with the way this has been handled.
But underneath the layers of someone's obvious misuse of the truth and want to create popularity for themselves…NBCF is still not really willing to work with a POLE organization and THAT is upsetting to me. They don't want to be linked to us and that is heartbreaking.
Taking away all of our internal struggles about what pole dancing/fitness should be – we are still a group of mostly women that support, encourage and give to one another. This, to me, stands as the largest reason that national charities should want to work us and they should be proud we want to wear their logo and raise awareness for their cause.
All of this is PERSONAL thoughts I don't agree with the frenzy that was started but I do think that maybe the NBCF could use a little pole education.
My mother passed away from breast cancer when I was 20 – a 16 year old, a 19 year old and a 20 year old were making life and death decisions for her when we barely understood the disease. Doctors spent more time educating me than trying to fix her because her cancer was metastatic. This was the end of what was a rather tumultous relationship with my mother and has for the last 10 years left me with nothing but questions and the fear that I too am staring down the barrel of breast cancer and the fear that it may be for me as aggressive as it was for her. Being this passionate about wanting to find a cure for this, I really wish that these organizations would work with us on a larger level. If anything, working with us would enable more women and young women to become educated not only about the charity but abour their bodies.
HOWEVER, expoilitive tactics and creating an angry mob against the NBCF is not the way to educate the organization about what we do and how we could be of value to them. I believe real stories and real women with honest intentions would be able to break the stigma of what many might think pole dancers are or represent.
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Charley, I’m so sorry that this plays so close to your heart! Xoxo
There is always more than one side and information is constantly changing as it’s passed from one person to the next. I’m sure there is WAY more to this story than originally stated and I agree with webbie. When it comes to donating we should not be so selfish… It’s about giving, not receiving!! It should be about helping women, not trying to “spread the word” of pole!
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Thanks Roxy! xoxoxoxox!
I just want to say that while I want pole and breast cancer to reconcile and publicly work together because they are 2 important things to ME…GIVING IS ABOUT GIVING!
I may not like their stance however I would not do anything to discredit an organization that has helped so many…and what really matters at the end of the day is saving lives. 🙂
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I've debated replying to this but I want to bring up a point.
First, I want to clearly state that I do not agree with how the APFA handled this and put words in their mouths. I do not need to be told to "read between the lines" and I do not need it done for me.
I am not discrediting the NBCF but I am questioning their decision making skills when they put such limits on donations that make it impossible for the organization to hold a fundraiser.
I cannot believe that a charity will lose future donations, simply because people read that a group of pole dancers donated to the cause. If they did…then I have to subsequently doubt the sincerity of that donor too!
They cannot expect a fundraiser to be held where you cannot tell donors what they are contributing to! That's ridiculous! I can just imagine going to people, asking for money for a good cause but telling them I cannot say WHAT the cause is! You can't even just say "cancer" as people want to know more and will ask "what organization?"
Further more, most people want to know that their donation is tax deductible and if they don't have the 501c number, you cannot claim it. In the very least you would lose any possibility of any major donations.
Is this about publicity for the organization doing the fundraiser? Yes, it most likely is and it ALWAYS is when you have a large fundraiser. If I had the money to give several thousand dollars all by myself I'd do it and it wouldn't be advertised. However, I don't have that sort of money..
So it's usually about both…advertising and giving from the heart.
My main concern is when an organization HAS a clause within their charter that prohibits an organization from saying who they are donating to because of questionable reputation and ethics.
Would we be understanding of this charter if they said that the LGBT was too controversail and therefore must hold an annonymous fundraiser? Or the NAACP?
This isn't about an organization turning away pole dancing – this is about the NBCF and other organizations making donations from select groups impossible and therefore indirectly turning that money away.
And lets remember…these fundraisers are not asking to be promoted on the NBCF website in any way..they just want to be able to SAY that they are donating to this cause.
For those who didn't see my post on Facebook…I was turned away by Susan Komen once and told by Make a Wish that we could only donate if I signed a contract guaranteeing $65000 in donations just to SAY that we were raising money for their organization. I don't see a need for them to make such difficulties.
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I totally agree with Webmaster…
I really thought the article in PoleSpin made the pole dance community look bad. If we all reacted this way to being misunderstood as a community it's no wonder there would be a bad taste in peoples mouth about pole dancers. The writer of the article probably felt she was sticking up for herself and her sport, but she presented her feelings in an unprofessional way. I don't think that's the way to change anyone's mind about Pole Dance.
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It seems to me that much of the offense is taken at the requirement of anonymous giving. Let me assure you that by giving anonymously we are in all kinds of great company, churches, educational organizations, political organizations, and even fortune 500s such as Apple, Oracle and Microsoft have had to give anonymously at times. This is certainly not a roadblock to collecting or giving donations to help a cause that you believe in.
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For me, when I read this story , it bothered me that they wouldn't take money from so called strippers.I was under the impression that to be a stripper you prolly have breasts and well those breasts just might get cancer.I used my facebook to ask people to please make a polite and respectful comment that all women, stripper, pole dancer, mom, doctor ,lawyer we are all in this fight together and we all deserve to benifit from the research.
Now of course as more info comes out I feel slightly foolish for getting up on my high horse.
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I feel a need to clarify:
First I think the original "scandal" where implications were made that the NBCF referred to us as strippers was totally inappropriate.
However I have no problems with annonymous donations. We do this every day when we donate to various charities and organizations as individuals and I for one have never publicized that I just donated to an organization.
The problem here is the charities that don't want to be associated with "questionable" businesses and organizations.
Consider how we all would fee if charities said they could not be associated with the NAACP or LGBT?
As an individual I can and do donate annonymously but as an organization I cannot go out and collect money, claiming I'm organizing a fund raiser and not be able to tell people who/what they are donating to.
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@Empyrean –
The NAACP is an organization and a charity in and of itself, similiar to NCBF, that I'm sure has it's own set of rules and regulations. It will most likely not accept funds from certain businesses even though it is a charity for furthering equality.
LGBT is a set of initials that describes a segment of our population and it is not an organization. I do know for a fact that many LGBT based organizations do have to give anonymously to certain charities they benefit.
I make these points not to prove you wrong, but instead to insure that we are being realistic in our argument.
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Uh! Don't they know that pain , suffering & disease has no boundaries.
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OK…my point is still the same…if NBCF turned away another group based on their sexual preferences or their ethnicity people would be appalled.
I simply don't think it's right and again, I must emphasize how ridiculous any group or organization would look asking for donations saying we can't tell you the charity you're helping just give us some money.
I also don't want to be accused of being selfish or greedy because I won't organize a fundraiser when I have to make it anonymous.
Some people think it's wrong to be charitable if there is any benefit in it for yourself such as advertising your own group…however, it's part of business and part of life and it doesn't make it wrong or make your donations less meaningful. Obviously we choose to donate to organizations we believe in and we wish to help.
When Komen and Make a Wish wouldn't allow us to donate we forged ahead and donated to the American Cancer Society and The March Of Dimes. And you know I get calls from them every year and donate to them every year since then! They appreciate it and I am happy to support them.
I simply do not agree with the rules of charters that discriminate which organizations can promote their fundraisers and which cannot based on what they consider to be ethical or controversial and I don't believe that those organizations have a legitimate basis for making those rules.
I also want to emphasize, since things can come across wrong in print, that this isn't an aggressive response but a passionate one and something that I believe strongly in – I believe they are simply wrong to have these rules.
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I myself have had some pretty appalling and grossly unprofessional interactions with the people at APFA. This comment stream and the clarifications it contains just reinforces my extreme discomfort that the APFA should be representing the pole community in any way. There is a frenzied quality to their push for publicity and while I respect Tinus need to really push to get her organizaton off the ground I don't think that proffesionalism, common curtesy or editorial due dilligence should be sacrificed just to make a name for herself. (also, she desperately needs a better proof reader!) The pole community is eager to embrace a publication with so much potential to share information, photos and articles and to add to our shared activities, I just wish that the APFA would mature into an organization that better deserved that role.
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Uh Oh!… ::Looks around Embarrassed::
When I saw Tinu's clarification, I must admit I felt a little uncomfortable. It's important to be precise when posting publicly on controversial matters. I will now offer a FULL apology for jumping into the fray on my FB page a little too early without firming up my facts.
Rest assured I jumped into support Tinu almost reflexively. You ladies have all been so good to me that I get a little protective and defensive right away when someone seems to be attacking pole. And you all know my feelings about anything that seeks to divide exotic dancers from the "rest of us." I really hate that and so Tinu's original post kind of pushed my buttons. But I hope everyone remembers my use of the words "hyper respectful and polite"–so I hope I didn't do any damage to the hobby.
Hana, I appreciate your reservations about APFA. I want to remain discreet and supportive of the efforts of anyone who seeks to expand the pole movement. I will go so far as to say that APFA and Pole Spin have had some growing pains. I have dealt with TInu on a 1×1 basis and she can be a "strong" force to deal with. I have communicated privately with polers who have had some "difficulties" with the organization and I do think that APFA has some room to grow in terms of regularizing and adjusting their internal operations to the norms of business practice. (LOL, yes, I know…that sentence is an artful dodge…but work with me here…PLEASE!). We've got some dynamic and strong people in this movement and sometimes their enthusiasm runs ahead of their experience. I'm going to take as positive a view of this as I can of what happened. First of all, I screwed up personally by not tempering my reaction with a little time and thought. And I think Tinu's clarification indicates she knows now that perhaps a more finely tuned post would have ultimately served the cause better.
Joel Lessing
Forest Park, Illinois
Poledancefan
mailto:JoelOwen@aol.com
Joel Lessing on Facebook
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I wonder how Sean O'Connor gets on: http://www.pinkpolepower.com/index.html ?
Although I do note he specifies that he donates to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. Maybe they have a different set of rules…..!
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