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Advice Please.
I’m not really good at reaching out to people, but I’m at a point I would be happy for any advice that would help. I feel like I’m in a spiral that’s never ending. I’m 50, full blown menopause, probably depression as well and weight gain. I’m trying so hard to get back into a routine for pole. I’m on my feet at least 10 hours a day at work. By the time I make it home I feel like I’ve got absolutely no energy what so ever, I take my doggie out to potty, sit down and fall asleep. It is the most horrible feeling ever. My metabolism is gone and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve always been the person who only needed 5 or 6 hours of sleep, always on the go and always full of energy. My hormone pills are low dosage, due to a small stroke when I was very young. There’s got to be something out there to just get out of this horrible black hole. It’s been going on 8 months now and I’m at my wits end. Any suggestions or experiences similar that helped I would be so grateful for. I miss my pole and I’m so sick of being tired….B12 hasn’t done a thing either. I’m missing out on the things I love, pole, my doggie, garden and swimming.
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7 Replies
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Summerthyme,
First of all, I’m looking at your pole photos and thinking that you’re an incredible woman! You have gorgeous lines on the pole. It’s good to occasionally think about what you’ve already accomplished to keep you going through the dark. I don’t have a lot to add to this discussion medically, but one technique that has helped me in the past when I was working a crap job and didn’t feel that I had the time or energy to pole is to start scheduling my workouts.
I know that sounds terrible! Pole is supposed to be fun and an escape, etc. However, I’ve found that sometimes I have to schedule my escape, just like I have to schedule a vacation. And sometimes I don’t even want that escape/exercise at first and have to drag myself through it, but I always feel better after doing it. Once it becomes a habit, the fun and spontaneity will creep back in. If you’re tired when you get home, is it possible to schedule your work out for early in the morning before work? What about days off? Sometimes you just have to find the time and schedule in your fun in order to take it seriously. This may or may not work for you, but it’s what has worked for me in the past. Either way, I’m rooting for you!
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I’m post menopausal, the best suggestion I have is, speak to your doctor, depression is unfortunately a big part, because sleep deprivation is hard, your estrogen levels decrease which estrogen is one of the hormones that help you sleep. For myself, I still struggle with lack of sleep, but my Doctor (I suggest getting a female) helped with food suggestions, staying active (which meant I had to literally force myself to do most of the time!), making sure I had someone that knew what I was dealing with, so I had a support person to help push, drag, or prod me through getting off my butt. Also to take a power nap whenever possible, like getting home and not forcing myself to do things until I had some rest. It does get better, however the depression needs to be addressed, as that part without help gets worse.
I also had to comes to grips with the fact that my body was aging, even though my mind still felt “young”, we can’t stop the physical aging process, it was much easier for me once I got out of denial. I still work 14+ hours a day, I own, run, and teach in my own studio, but I manage to find a little time for that meditation, and power nap, and when I feel like I’m struggling more, I let my support person and my doctor know. I wish you the best, it is a difficult time for allot of us! I’ll keep you in my thoughts, just don’t give up, the adjustment of trying things until something works is taxing, but it’s worth it to get back to the things you love!! (((Hugs)))
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I may not be close to menopause, but I have felt my own subtle aging effects, as well as having to deal with some depression, and balancing work, life, and exercise.
On the energy standpoint… are you eating enough? I know this may seem counterintuitive when it comes to wanting to manage “weight” or fat on your body, it is also extremely important to your ability to feel like you have enough energy to exercise, and also to sleep! Sleeping burns calories, and as I’ve been learning recently, sometimes you can’t sleep if you push yourself too hard, without enough food. I’ve felt fine when I go to bed, but toss and turn during the night, if I’ve skipped a meal (especially if I close at work, and just want to go to bed, but haven’t eaten for 5 hours!).
Otherwise, hormones play a big part in our bodies, and how they work. See a doctor about your concerns, and talk to them about your energy levels. If this change (of energy) has happened without your lifestyle changing, you may need to look into some more alternatives to your current medication.
Depression is… difficult. It’s not something that is easy to navigate, and it’s not something that people often talk about navigating. Most of the time, people want to stick some drugs in you and call you better, because you feel better. But, in my experience, depression is a symptom of other issues, be they mental or physical. You may need to change your diet, your routine, your work, your self-care. You may actually need to learn to manage your depression in other ways, too. Many of the people I’ve talked to with depression indicate that social media, and sometimes news media and such, can be very difficult, and trigger a bout of depression. Other things, too, can be difficult on the depression, and make it feel worse.
The best thing I learned to do is to redefine how I see my life, my day, and my world. Accepting that there are going to be rough parts of life is a definite need for most of us. They DO happen, and they are not going to kill us. Change us, perhaps, but often we come out stronger and tougher than before. Also, making a point to see the things that make YOU happy, or even just slightly less depressed, is really important. Training yourself this way is deceptively simple, and yet oh-so difficult. Personally, I made a list. 5 things, every day, that happened to me that made me feel slightly less depressed (or just the tiniest bit more happy). It doesn’t matter how small, or stupid you might think it is. Anything from finding a can of your favourite beverage in the back of the fridge, to the way your dog wags it’s tail. Things so simple as “I liked the colour green today.” It doesn’t matter what it is, how small it is, or how silly it may seem… write it down!!
Eventually, work your way up to 10 things every day. You’ll have to pay more and more attention each day to find new things.Finally… you’re allowed to have down-time. Even when you are able to get back to those things you love, downtime is important. Rest is needed. Your body may be requiring a little more rest.
And try not to work too hard. 10 hours seems like a lot!!
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Summerthyme, here’s some really good info! http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/menopause/basics/definition/con-20019726
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Thank you litlbit and rumemist34 for you advice and kind words. I guess I need to break down and see a doctor and see what else I can do. I can’t keep living like this with a happy face at work only to go home and sleep my life away. This is no life at all and no way to live. I read the link at the mayo clinic as well, so thank you for taking the time out to look that up and share it with me. You have my sincere gratitude.
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YW! Keep me posted on how your doing, support is SOOO important when your dealing with this, I know for me it gave me hope to let people in! I admire the strength it took for you to reach out! I don’t get on much anymore with my business taking up all of time, but I do watch the posts off and on during the day between classes. I hope you find what works for you!!
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Summerthyme,
I am so sorry to hear that you are having such struggles right now. While I am not yet at the point of menopause (35 years old) I can totally relate to the issues you are having in terms of energy level and depression.
I suffer from severe migraines and found out a few years ago that I have hypothyroidism. I started gaining weight like crazy and my energy level just drained down to nothing. My intense school schedule didn’t help matters either. While I still feel that my issues are still not being managed properly by my doctors, I have found some things that have been really helpful in increasing my energy levels and metabolism.
I echo what Runemist and several others have said about nutrition. Eating the right amounts of food at the right times is extremely important. When I decided to get my butt off the couch and start fighting, I started using myfitnesspal to track my intake and macros. At first I went with the suggestions the site offered based on my height, weight and fitness goals. Yes, I did want to lose weight, but my main goal was to start eating the right way so I could work toward feeling better and offset my physical conditions. While food/exercise trackers are helpful and I would recommend them to anybody no matter how old or where they are with their fitness journey, I will say that these are just guidelines and are not necessarily “one size fits all.” More research is needed to ensure that you are getting the right nutrition. Poledance is a mix of both aerobic and anaerobic exercises and requires a good balanced diet in order to increase strength and ability.
For several years now, I have been EXHAUSTED and feeling sick all the time!!!! Since I stopped poling I have had a lot of life issues and a great deal of anxiety and depression. When I started exercising and poling again again about 2 months ago, I still felt horrible no matter what I did. i just chocked up to my body needing time to readjust but that wasn’t the case.
I finally started looking at my carb and protein intake and found that I was getting enough carbs but wasn’t even eating half the amount of protein I should have been based on my activity level. While there isn’t much you can do about your long hours on your feet, you can control what you put in your body for fuel. So this would be my first suggestion to you as far as improving your energy level if you are not already meeting your body’s requirements in your daily intake.
As soon as I started eating more protein, I felt an increase in energy immediately. I have also seen vast improvement in muscle recovery. I have also limited my caffeine and alcohol intake. Not sure if that is a factor here, if so, it is something to consider.
My second piece of advice is to take the time to stretch and focus on breathing. I really notice a difference in how I feel overall when I take just 5 minutes to consciously breathe, stretch and center myself. I work full time, go to school and take care of everything around the house. That doesn’t leave much time for workouts much less, time to relax. That was another huge factor aside from the physical issues I was battling. The point here for me isn’t just for flexibility but my state of mind. No matter how busy I am, I have to remind myself to make time to take that 5 mins for myself. That laundry basket and dishes can wait!
Oh yes, and hydration. Staying hydrated and increasing my water intake has also helped a great deal. Again, don’t know if this is a factor but something to consider.
It is extremely important to speak to your doctor about the issues you are having. Many of the suggestions we have made here are a baseline for what you can control and what you can do for yourself to complement or support the advice of your doctor(s.)
Unfortunately, a lot of these symptoms may just be a part of the menopause and will have to be managed as best as you can until the symptoms subside. The depression you are feeling may be compounding these symptoms greatly. Try to take one thing at a time. Like I said I have battled with severe anxiety and depression for most of my life. Being on the couch for extended periods of time due to complete exhaustion has really taken a toll on my body. Slowly but surely, now that I am forcing myself to get up and move, even if it is for 5 minutes, I am seeing more and more progress, feeling less depressed and anxious, and actually have more energy to do the things that make me happy and feel good about myself.
Be patient and kind to yourself, while you work to figure out a solution. Don’t give up. If nothing else, I hope you can at least leave this message with some comfort in knowing you are not alone.
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