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Dealing with not doing your best…
My usual weekly “class” is actually really just a private or semi-private lesson…
I really like how casual it is… we warm up, do some conditioning, then get to it. Usually with requests or we will pull up a video on instagram and work on something we saw. We give it a few goes, and then when we are ready we move on. I’m very comfortable with this format.
I feel the same about my SV lessons. We warm up and then we work on what I want to work on (Thanks Veena!)
The only thing is that it does sometimes make it difficult to attend other studios. (I realize the simple answer would be like “if you found a place you’re happy, why attend other studios”. Well the answer to that is complex… But I’ve been trying to take classes a few other places. I do think it’s good for my development…)
I’ve attended a few studio and there are a few scenarios I’ve run into…
But most recently (yesterday) I was visiting a big studio 2 hours away from me… the 1.5 hour class I took had a very intense warm up first, then even more conditioning. We were doing a ton of shoulder mount prep, then by the time we got to actually shoulder mount my shoulder was sore and my muscles were tired, then the instructor comes around and I’m shoulder mounting terribly, and she gives me some tips, that I do appreciate, but I’m just tired. The same thing happened after a ton of caterpillar prep work before we ayesha’ed. Then the instructor came around and really didn’t like my form… and that’s ok, I mean I could use tips, I’m not in love with it either.
I know (in my head) that I’m doing this for me, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else or the instructor thinks of me… and the tips are still valuable.
In the end, I do think it was a good class, I think the issue was with me.
I understand why the girls who go there are sooo darn good. Class is long and intense, I’m sure if I went there weekly (or more than that as most of their students do) I would be a bad ass too. I guess I need to step up my at home conditioning… and not just work on what I want to work on π
I guess my real issue is… I feel like it’s very hard to not get frustrated in these situations. Especially when you’re visiting another studio, and treating yourself to a special class once a month, you want to put your best foot forward… and no one wants to leave feeling frustrated or like they had a bad pole day. I mean, I’m not soooo upset, but I know I could do better!
So, I guess this ended up being more of a vent than anything else… and I know I have work to do…
but I’d like to know a few things…– Does anyone else go to a class that does a lot of conditioning for the same move that you are working on that day?
– Does anyone else feel the pressure to do well around new people or instructors?
– How do you deal with the frustration of knowing you didn’t do your best?
– Any other advice is welcomed or similar stories welcomed!Sorry for the long ramble π
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10 Replies
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I think your usual weekly class is very similar to mine in format. I would be frustrated, too, if I use up all my energy in the warm-up moves and not for the “real deal!”
The way I deal with this is that I listen to my body and let that be my guide, and I’ve told a teacher a few times that I can’t do as many reps or whatever as I want to save my strength. Sometimes, they won’t listen to you and think you’re just being a lazy bum, but sometimes they will. Of course, sometimes it’s hard to gauge at the start of a 100-rep exercise that you need to stop at 50, if you don’t know from the start that the teacher is aiming for 100! In your shoes I may ask the teacher if there will be attempts to do the actual move at the end or if the day will be spent on prep exercises, again as a way to help you spend your energy where it matters the most. YMMV, some instructors may not like that you’re taking control vs. just following orders!
I’m a very externally motivated dancer, meaning I mostly do it to impress other people, so I feel your frustration even more so w/ this mindset of mine! I know, I know, I should dance for me, blah blah, but the truth is I love being told by other people that I looked great or I nailed it. π But when I’m not the best student (which of course doesn’t always happen) it is even more of a letdown because of this mindset as well. I don’t have any answers for that particular question, just want to say I feel your pain!
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Thank you Γ°ΕΈββ’ It’s actually really helpful just to know other people would be frustrated too.
I should just add that in the class description it did say that the class would focus on strength. It’s a “power” moves class,.. I forgot to mention that. I really don’t think it’s the class or the instructor’s fault. I think I just wasn’t up to the task… Which again, is fustrating :/
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Maybe see if your instructor during your privates will do more intense conditioning with you (but slowly introduce it). They are your privates so don’t feel bad requesting more than just pole moves! They should be able to adapt if you want more! Or maybe they’ll give you some “homework”/exercises to do on your own. I like to do that with my privates if they have specific goals or skills they want to reach.
My teaching style is that of a long warmup and conditioning like you explained. I want my students to at least have some kind of a sweat going before they start because they are paying for: one, a good work out and two, to get better. But also, I not only want to give them a good workout, and for them to progress, but I want them to do that as safely and as efficiently as possible. If they get everything I teach them or do every single rep easily then they aren’t being challenge enough meaning their body, strength, and flexibility wont change. But I also let it be known that it is good if they struggle and it’s okay if they can only do 5 reps one day because eventually with hard work they can do 10 reps easily. I want to make them better than they think they’ll be at their best.
I give my students exercises that relate to the pole moves we do so they understand what muscles to use and more importantly HOW to use them as well as exercises that balance out the muscles we don’t use as much. There is a fine line of overkill of moves and progressions though. I recently learned about 5 ways to do the same move for almost an entire hour and although the teaching style was thorough and well taught, it was too much even for a very advanced person because now my arms are bruised so badly from doing the same grip repeatedly so now I wont be able to practice it till it’s stops hurting. This is a fault on my own part for continuing but it’s one of those things where it’s like “well I paid for it so let me get the most out of it I guess.” And thats the biggest challenge is to know when to stop and feeling okay with stopping while no one else does. Because you are the only one who knows your body. And when I stay stop I don’t mean stand there but work on something else until you are ready to revisit what you are trying to learn. Again, I tell my students who are learning how to climb or invert if they start using bad form and getting tired to play/work/rest with their sits, planks, spins, etc in-between climbs and inverts.
It’s no secret that pole and working out is more of a lesson in pride and humility than anything else. Once you accept that that’s when you will do your best. Try not to compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 20. But also get out of your comfort zone more! It’s definitely made you question a bunch of things. That’s what I love about competitions cause I always feel the way you just explained and it makes me work harder which in turn goes back to my students. Frustration will come. It’s just one of those things that happens. It’s something you can’t really stop but it’s something you can move on from. Just find the friendliest or the most quiet person in the room and encourage them genuinely and usually what I find is that they will encourage and support you back because sometimes you just need someone to tell you what you did wrong as well as something you’re doing right.
This is a bunch of jibberish for the most part but I hope some of it helps!
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I dont know if this is possible for your class structure but I will give you an example of what I do. sometimes we will repeat a trick many times. I know if I do it too many times I’m gonna wear myself out. I know my limits and how to pace myself so I just give a trick a few tries and then I stop. I catch my breath and process what Im doing, watch others practicing to reinforce. However, I have been to a class where the warm up was so intense that I was done before class started. for me I figured out 2 things. Sometimes I could just stay consistent with the class and it would get easier. Or, that teacher just had a class structure that didnt work for me and I wouldnt go anymore. I once heard an instructor brag about how she wears out her students in warm up so they arent able to do a lot of pole work later on. She said she did this because it was 2 students per pole and that way it was easier to share a pole because they wouldnt want to do as much. I actually heard an instructor here say that and I thought that was horrible from a student’s stand point. I could imagine being a student in that class and just not having the energy to do the tricks I really came there to learn. I felt bad for her student. anyways , that is a little off topic. You paid for the class, you know your limits. Participate in the conditioning but dont do as many reps. slowly build up your tolerance. you’re allowed to rest when you want to! the class is for you to benefit. it may suck having to stop every few minutes to rest,but it may help you to pace yourself during the whole class. eventually you may be able to go all the way through without the rest and still be able to do the tricks.
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– Does anyone else feel the pressure to do well around new people or instructors?
THIS is the main reason I can’t step into a studio anymore, no matter whose it is.
Cause even though I know i’m doing the best for me, accomplishing my own fears and feats in my own pace, the thought of being “judged” again makes me uncomfortably angry. I hated “keeping up”. The segregation covered up by “sisterhood”. All of that in my head makes me rather fail at home pole-ing than go there.I want to go to a really nice well-known pole studio an 1.5hrs away around my bday next month, but I fear not that I can’t do stuff, but what i’m confident in now won’t be enough. Feeling that “well, i’m a little shrimp again in the ocean of pole”, is something I don’t want to face again.
Yeah…sorry…I still harbor a lot of issues from my prior studio life. But this question total speaks to me.
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Thanks Ladies,
Sorry I’ve been slow to respond (life)… but I really really appreciate hearing from everyone.
I’m happy I’m not alone in my feelings! I’m going to ramp up my own conditioning for sure.
Kir Kir, sounds like you’re a great teacher! The privates/semi privates I go to are only an hour (as opposed to 1.5 hours) so I feel like I’m happy we don’t spend too much time doing conditioning because I really want to soak up more knowledge… BUT it also means I have to be more diligent about my home training.
And Phoenix, ha, i did feel like I tried to pace myself…. I got water, I wiped the pole down to “stall” a bit.. but I still was beat! I guess I didn’t pace myself as well as I thought π
Alice, I know this has been a struggle for you. I love that you’re really vocal about it, it makes me feel better that I’m not the only one that feels like this sometimes.
PS- if That studio is more south let me know π Maybe we can jam!I do have to say, I’ve gotten much better about measuring myself against others, BUT when I know that I can personally do better than I’m doing (because I’m tired, sore, or just having an off day) I get really frustrated π
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I struggle with class(es) that have a long warm-up. I know it’s important, but too long can be too long. I take time, etc to “pole” and I find too long warm up I lose interest. That’s how it affects me.
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I’ve dealt with all of those, and sometimes, I don’t fare well. I have an issue with sweat. I lather myself up with anti-perspirant before class, but sometimes it isn’t enough when I have to go through a lengthy warm up. My strength isn’t the issue, it’s the fact that I won’t be able to stick on the pole at all any more if I exert myself past a certain point. And I’m competitive.
So, one of the last times I went to my new studio, we did a long warmup, and then tried to do a variety of mounts (couldn’t stick to a shoulder mount) and we finally got to a freestyle. Now, I don’t usually jam out to the music in this studio. I’m not much of a dancer, and most of the hip-hop and r&b styles of songs don’t pull me in. But we played a song I really really like, and I went to do a brass monkey and slid out of that too and ended up having a mini breakdown because I was so frustrated at everything. I couldn’t do a shoulder mount, I couldn’t do a knee pit hold, and I can’t stick my flying body swirls anymore. Basically, all the things I love to do, that make me happy, I was too sweaty to do.
Problem is, all the classes here do the long warm ups for strengthening, and then by that point, I don’t get useful pole time as you can’t train tricks if you just slide. And yes, I wipe myself down, I try chalk, I wipe the pole… No, it doesn’t help that much after a certain point. π
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Just reading all the replies in here makes me miss studio veena I’m not here as much as I used to be, but when I do log in I always find its a lot more positive than attending a studio. I’m in a love hate relationship with studios sometimes I have good days there and some not so, so I find my self only attending the studio one to 2 terms a year. It helps me balance my pole training and sometimes I need spotted and a mirror and some extra space,it can be difficult training with other women who have issues when I also have issues, it can be quite intense and sometimes a personality clash, but that’s my personal experiences. I do my best not to compare but I’m human and it gets me down now and again. But at home I’m only worried about my progress and what I want to achieve. It’s really great that we can share progress here I love seeing everyone’s videos and cheering you all on. I never really believe I’m not doing my best, because slow progress is good for the body it gives you time to grow and look at the details. I’m a slow learner I accept this but can feel my self get stronger by the month. Γ°ΕΈβΕ hope this helps a bit.
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