Hey, I wanted to chime in because:
1) I agree with you SO much about this site. I’m new and it’s so great to finally find a forum with discussions that don’t inevitably end in flame wars and rudeness. Love it here.
2) Regarding weight loss and body issues, I agree with what Veena said. But I’ll also add my own story that may help you. Sorry it’s a little long.
I manage to stick with exercising and a healthier diet by thinking less about my appearance and more about my long term health. Historically, I’ve always failed at exercise programs because I centered them around this idea of losing weight and having a better looking body. But that’s the kind of goal that inevitably makes me resentful and angry and I end up quitting or falling off the wagon. Because, really, deep down I will probably never feel pretty enough or fit enough. Such is the way of our culture I guess.
So, I have begun to look at exercising very differently now. Whenever that little voice comes into my head saying “Keep this up and you’ll be so hot and thin!” I shut her up and say “No, this is for fun and for my long term health.” My mom has begun to lose her mobility in her early 60s (too young!) and I don’t want that to happen to me. I want to be able to hike and travel and enjoy life fully as I get older. So I look at exercise in those terms rather than making it about my appearance.
I also use my pole time to mentally concentrate on saying good things to my body. (I know that sounds so new age and weird, just bear with me.) For instance when I’m stretching on the floor in shorts, my eyes usually fall on my thighs and the cellulite and the jiggly parts. And my instinct is to get upset and turn away. But I try to use that time to massage them and tell myself that I am beautiful as I am. I try to be thankful that I have this amazing body that I can use to do pole at all!
I never say anything about my body that I wouldn’t say to my daughter or my mom or my best girlfriend. That doesn’t mean that those thoughts don’t enter my mind, but I try to never verbalize them.
I hope that doesn’t sound preachy, it’s just really worked for me and has helped me stick to it. And, you know, yeah, my body is changing for the better and I like the change no doubt! But I try to dwell on the health aspects more than the appearance aspects. You are not gross or icky or a jiggle monster. Haha! Love your body. 🙂
P.S. If you ever go to a strip club, you will see women of all different shapes and sizes and the audience enjoys them all. It’s so much about the confidence. Good luck!