Hey there!
You sound like me 😉 I like to tell long stories, too! I’m currently working on my first book, but as I’m sure most of the people here can attest, I also tend to write a lot in responses and blogs. Sometimes, you just need to wax verbose in order to explain something!
Much of my pole journey was spent feeling weak and inadequate. I didn’t really know how to create my own workout program, and there was very little help for me at home (I also had a jerk husband at the time who totally demoralized me).
Honestly, I don’t think most of us can hold ourselves up on the pole at first! I know for sure that I couldn’t, for a long, long time!
I now have a studio to go to, and have been learning a lot about how I, personally, progress and learn things with pole dance. It can still be rough- everyone in my class are deadlifting their inversions, and I’m… well, I’m not! I’m still working on it. And really, that’s going to be true for the rest of my time pole dancing; I’ll still be working on something!!
Specifically for holding yourself on the pole like that, make sure your shoulders are pulled away from your ears (this is true of ALL pole moves- your shoulders and ears should never come together! It can be really hard!) and just lift one leg, put a little weight into your hands. Get to know the feeling, and slowly increase how much weight you put into your hands.
However, this isn’t really a move you need to know right now! It’s something to practice, more for conditioning and strengthening the body than for actual dancing right now.
Veena’s lessons are really good, and you can always post videos and ask questions here on the forums! It can be really hard for a lot of more advanced people to remember what it was like at the beginning… and, their beginning may not be the same as the rest of us! There are always ways to modify something to make it easier, so you can practice, get stronger, and move toward your goals.
And seriously, we don’t judge. We’re all happy to have you here!