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Disheartened
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First of all, let me congratulate you on getting your invert successfully. I had so much trouble with it when i first started and i remember the fear very well. Though i did crack my rib when i didnt straighten my arms as i pulled my legs up (which meant i slammed sideways into the pole), so i had a little extra fear of it after that. But it soon becomes second nature.
I dont think you were given enough credit for doing that, and then to try to rush into another move stright away knocked your new found confidence.
Now, im 5'4 and have always been slender, and like you i fitted into my clothes just days after my children were born. I grew up with poeple asking if i was anoriexic, told i had spaghetti legs, and though now 34 i'm still waiting to grow some boobs, so i totally get how it feels. I didnt even wear shorts the first few months of pole class. I just pulled my tracksuit legs up as and when the moves demanded, and the baggy t-shirt stayed longer, as i too have an outy that seems all the more pronounced as i'm so slim. Luckily i have a very supportive class where we are all shapes and sizes, and now we all wear hardly anything at all (short shorts and sports bras). Its difficult for most women to feel comfortable getting to that level of near nakedness, but it truly helps with your grip on the pole.
Everyone reaches certain stages also where they just plateux, you seem to not advance, but every time you try, you're building your muscle memory, and one day i promise you'll just get it. Its like your body finally recognises its own centre of gravity and works with you (till you try another more advanced move that you know you should be able to do but just cant get), but eventually you get that too.
Whichever music makes you 'feel' is music to pole to. But it is tricky trying to fit the moves into faster songs, but you're a dancer, so i'm sure it'll be easier for you than it was for me, though if you do go with a fast song, i suggest you have easier alternate moves for just incase you can't get the right grip or feel unsafe trying the more difficult ones in front of the class.
Having a pole at home helped me, i could be in skimpy clothes to practice in without fearing the judgement of everyone else, but again, i only got my pole after i'd been poling six+ months. I wanted one sooner, but when you have kids, there are other things you need to buy first.
Anyway, I haven't really said much that everyone else hasn't already stated, but it is nice to know you're not alone, and that people do care, so take it easy, keep trying, and once again congratulation on your invert.
Sorry for droning on, just one more thing, when it comes to the scorpio, try doing it in stages. Firstly be keeping both hands on and getting you leg position correct, as its scary as hell the first time you take that other leg off. And though the grip you get on your side will help, if you get your legs in the right position first, the skin there can hold you without your side (i know, remember the baggy t-shirt i wore), then once you have one leg off try just removing alternate hands so you can feel your bady weight pull on the contact with you leg. You'll be amazed just how much grip that has on its own, then i promise, its just a matter of time before your inverting straight into a scorpio, and switching to a gemini with no hands at all.
Best wishes Sarah x
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I'm sorry you felt bad after your class and I hope you resolve your issues with your instructor…I have another perspective to offer, which I hope you will consider.
It is clear that you have some rooted insecurities about your body. No one has the right to push you to overcome them…only you can. However, sometimes people really don't mean to wound you as much as you might think. Maybe they should have just let you alone but your instructor sounded excited to push you further AND I bet she really didn't think she was hurting your feelings, and I don't mean that in an insensitive way….your story made me think a little bit back to my college days when I gave a girl I liked what I thought was a poetic compliment about her body and she bit my head off because she was super-wound up about her body image. I felt terrible and I had truly meant to be complimentary 🙁 In the end she had to deal with her issues in her own way and we are good friends again.
As far as the music…was that what she really said or was that what you felt she meant? EIther way, consider this…maybe it is your teacher's belief that you could benefit from choosing music that might get you to slow down and do things with control? Again, something I experienced with an instructor of mine (although she was far more diplomatic)…and even though I do love fast music….it turned out she was right and my pole playlist is an eclectic selection of slow songs for training purposes. Try ( if not this time) a slow song that still has all the beats, hits intensity of your favourite style and see how it goes.
I'm not discounting your feelings or anyone else's words of support here…just suggesting stepping back for a minute. Since you say you like your instructor, I'd also suggest you find a way to talk to her about how you felt and ask some questions about her approach..that way you understand each other better. Good luck!
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