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Does your father come to your pole performances?
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Let your dad come he seems like a support cool supportive dad. Wear clothes that dont make your booty pop out.your dads lil girl he just want to be your rock so let him who cares what others think. My mom supported me in everything even pole dancing my dad he old school so whatever. Im team dad let him show his support
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Both of my parents came to my Christmas recital last year. I was reluctant to let them come, but they've been wanting to see what I do because I always talk about how much I love pole class and how much fun it is. I was so nervous about getting my routine right and not falling down I didn't have time to be nervous about my dad watching me, and he was very proud and supportive. I say let your dad come!
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Yeah, PFM I am so happy my Dad saw my dancing and hooping too. When he would come to visit he watched me practice new things and always said “I just don’t know how you hold yourself like that!” Lol
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You ladies are so lucky you have such supportive fathers! 🙂 My mum is totally cool with me doing pole and even wants to have a go at it (I'll be taking her when she comes to visit me next month!), but my dad is a little weirded out by it. When I first started poling, I told my mum first who in turn told my dad, who then told his sister in passing. I remember while we were having a conversation one day about what I'd be doing for the rest of the day, I was reluctant at first to say I'd be going to my pole dancing class, but I thought there was no point in hiding it as they already knew so I came out in the open and said I'd be going to my pole dancing class. That was when they both got extremely embarrassed and flustered, and told me I shouldn't say things like that because people might get the wrong impression of me. Huh?! With my dad, it's always the case of "if we don't talk about it, it means it never happened" whenever he finds the truth uncomfortable. Hahaha.
I'd like my dad to one day come to see me do a routine so at least he knows what it's all about, the only experience he has with pole dancers is when he's been to strip clubs with his brother so he he's always made that association in his head. But I think my dad and MrsNaughtywed's dad seem pretty similar in that they're both misogynistic/patriachal so we'll have to see!
Bring your dad for sure, I'm sure he'll be your biggest fan there! 🙂
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This is an interesting thread, and I debated sharing my story. I'm envious of those of you who have parents who support you in pole, or any hobby, really.
I have been poling since 2010 and I still have not told my parents. When I first started taking classes, I was a little embarrassed and not sure what they would think. My parents teased me quite a bit growing up, making fun of any interests and hobbies that they didn't understand. Telling them that I was taking pole dance lessons seemed like asking for trouble. So if I was going to a pole event, I would just say I was going to see friends. They never asked what I was doing with those friends. Or I would just say I was going to a yoga class.
Now, I am a lot less concerned about what people think of me doing pole – some of my in laws know and are supportive, and all of my friends know and think it's cool. But my parents still don't know. I hardly see them anymore since moving two hours away and we are not very close. I feel like we just never became adult "friends." The last time they were here, almost a year ago, I thought that would be a good time to tell them since I have a pole in my house! But they never saw it. It's upstairs in the guest room, and they didn't even want to go upstairs to see the rest of the house. They were just dropping in on their way back from a trip and in a hurry to get home.
We talk briefly on the phone every other week or so, but it never seems like a good time to blurt out "by the way, I've been working on landing a difficult pole trick and finally got it this week." I'm past the point of being embarrassed to tell them, and I want them to know and be proud of me. But it's hard to just put it out there. I once visited them in the summer while covered in pole bruises. I figured that would be a good time to bring it up, and reassure them that I was ok! But they didn't say a word about my bruises. I'm not sure if they even noticed since they were drinking heavily (another sticking point I have with them).
My parents have been to Cirque shows, so I think they would understand the level of skill and strength involved in pole dance. But sometimes it seems easier just to keep it private.
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My parents are great. They helped me buy my first pole. My dad drove the whole family to Michigan (from Ontario, Canada) for my birthday and to see my first showcase. They also both came to the showcase I performed in Toronto, and the second showcase that I wasn't even really in. I was working for the show, cleaning poles, selling tickets etc. and they still came, just to support our sport!. My dad sees and comments on my photos and videos on facebook, it's not a big deal for us. He's happy if I'm happy. 🙂
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Like everyone else has said, it totally depends on your own family. My dad passed a few years ago, but my first big pole competition was close enough for my grandpa to attend, and he did. I had another family member (who I was never very close to to begin with) disassociate herself from me because I poled…and for which my same grandfather defended me and said what I did was amazing. I'm the type of person that is very upfront with who I am and what I do. As for you presenting an invitation to your dad, it also depends on the type of person he is. If he can accept it for how you view it, it might not be bad to introduce him to what you do. If you think it may not be the best for your relationship with him, then say you respectfully don't want him to have any awkward feelings about what you do, but you would be happy to find other ways to integrate him into something that has become a part of your life.
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I’ve never performed but I would definitely invite my dad. Dad is very supportive. I’ve practiced in front of him and when I get the move he gets excited for me and I get a lot of “Mum, did you see that?!” And “That’s really good baby!!”
Dad puts my pole up for me, takes it down, tries lifting himself up on it himself.
But I know others who just can’t tell their parents.
I think you’d have to go on your comfort levels. I know my parents and I are ‘friends’ as well as having a regular parent/child relationship.
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I had a similar thing happen. My studio was doing a showcase and neither of my parents were coming. I just didn't think they would be comfortable going. But then my mom asked to come and so I got her a ticket. And then at the last minute my dad asked to come too. I realized he had felt left out all along! He said he had never missed any of my shows (plays, etc) and as long as I wasn't doing anything crazy that I wouldn't want him to see (which of course I wasn't)… It was kind of a strange situation at first but I was so glad he came and he was in awe of the strength and has been so supportive of pole ever since.
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I had a similar thing happen. My studio was doing a showcase and neither of my parents were coming. I just didn't think they would be comfortable going. But then my mom asked to come and so I got her a ticket. And then at the last minute my dad asked to come too. I realized he had felt left out all along! He said he had never missed any of my shows (plays, etc) and as long as I wasn't doing anything crazy that I wouldn't want him to see (which of course I wasn't)… It was kind of a strange situation at first but I was so glad he came and he was in awe of the strength and has been so supportive of pole ever since.
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Thanks so much for all of your opinions girls! You are all completely right, it depends on the individual relationship. I've decided that I wont be inviting him, just because I do feel so uncomfortable with him seeing my outfit and style of dance (my personal style of pole dance is very sultry and sexy, I just cant help it, its how I love to pole). I just told him a white lie, that only females are aloud in the studio, so that he doesn't get offended.
I have a pole at home so I will set it up and show him some of the tricks I'll be doing (whilst wearing denim shorts hehe), and leave the dance element out of it.
I'm very close with my mum and have always shown her my pole dancing, even though she's quite conservative, but that's just the relationship we have. We are more like girl friends than mother and daughter.
I love that many of you have close open relationships with your family.
Thanks for sharing your advice and lovely stories <3
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