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DoubleD’s Dilemma
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Another thing to keep in mind (especially for us large breasted ladies, but this goes for any size) is to pay attention to the type of bra that suits your breasts the best. HerRoom has a great online questionnaire, with questions about not only the size of your breasts but the shape of them, as well as questions about your upper body. This helps you narrow the wide selection of bras down to the ones that will likely be best for your specific body.
For example, I have a pretty narrow space between my boobs at the sternum, so any bra that has wires going up the center, like this (http://www.biggerbras.com/productpics3/large/foe/fantasie-of-england-smooth-cup-underwire-bra-6500.jpg) is very uncomfortable for me.
I have to go for something with less wire in the middle, like this (http://www.biggerbras.com/productpics3/super/fry/freya-deco-underwire-moulded-plunge-bra-aa4234.jpg).
I've never performed in a pole showcase, but if I did, I would consider wearing a swimwear top instead of a pole top, for the reasons Pankake stated. A lot of the pole wear seems to be either made for petite people, or is stripper-ish (which is fine if you're barely an A cup, but can look really trashy if you're a DD).
It is pretty sad how all the specialty pole wear seems designed for leggy, size zero girls with no boobs – but that's probably because most of the famous pole dancers who run the companies are petite and have athletic frames. It would be fantastic for an average sized person to design a pole fitness/costume line – I would totally buy it!
And Pankake – my boobs sweat like crazy. Another reason I like the Fiona bra… it's good at wicking…
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It is pretty sad how all the specialty pole wear seems designed for leggy, size zero girls with no boobs – but that's probably because most of the famous pole dancers who run the companies are petite and have athletic frames. It would be fantastic for an average sized person to design a pole fitness/costume line – I would totally buy it!
Hear, hear! For all the celebration of body types and sizes and abilities and such in the pole dancing world, it certainly doesn't show up in our pole-specific clothing lines.
Every once in a while the little Green Monster of Envy pops up when I visit the studio or hang out with my pole friends, because I'm pretty much the only one with my body type. They are slim, leggy, some petite and some tall, and none of them very busty. They're all beautiful – I love them and I love how they dance! But they can carry off a look that I can't because of their body type. I mean, even getting away from breasts for a second, platform heels look way different on a woman who's 5'11" and lean with long legs than they do on someone 5'5" with stocky, short legs.
I'll have to try that questionairre. Along with bowling-ball boobs, I also have a pretty short torso. I don't have a lot of space between the bottom of my bust and my waist. I have to be very cautious wearing anything belted across the middle so it doesn't visually chop me in half. So a questionnaire that factors in everything going on around the boobs sounds like a good idea.
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Oh girl I am in the same boat as you and I hate it. I won a gift certificate to a verrrrry well known line for polers when I won a competition and I couldn't even use it because none of their stuff fit my boobs! I emailed them to ask what the deal was and why they barely made any tops in large, and even the ones that were supposedly a large still didn't contain my jubblies. (I am not even that big (maybe a 34D on a good day but usually a C). When I lifted my arms up to shoulder mount my boobs fell out the bottom!!! Their response was "most polers are small and medium so we make those sizes" Needless to say I thought that was super rude and shitty and I felt terrible about myself. Polers can be athletic and still need a size large people!!!!!! Aaaaaanyway, there's an awesome lady who runs a line of pole wear called Vertical Edge, she makes pole wear in sizes up to 2X I think, and I modeled her stuff in a pole fashion AND IT ACTUALLY FIT HALLELUJAH BABY JESUS! I thought I would never be able to wear any cute pole clothes but her stuff is adorable and well made and fits great. So I would check her out, I have my eye on the ruffle skirt bottom, sooo cute.
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Wow, Glitter, I'd agree that that was pretty rude! "Most polers"… most polers where? That's what I wanna know.
If you're gonna make a line of clothes just for pole dancers, then it's on you to spend some time out in the world with pole dancers. This means, NOT just at competitions. NOT just around advanced dancers. NOT just at one studio or in one city. Otherwise, you're not really making clothes for pole dancers; you're making clothes for your friends, who happen to pole dance.
I don't intend to compete, ever. (Competition brings out the worst in me.) I'd like to perform in showcases, but even that isn't a big deal to me. But even if I am dancing in my living room for the rest of my poling life, I still want cute clothes, dammit! Just because I'm "invisible" to the pole community doesn't mean I don't count and don't deserve to look hawt.
Ugh. Obviously touched a nerve there.
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Agreed. I am not that large, but I am a 32DD. Which makes buying ANY bra in a store problematic and expensive. They always ask… well what about 34?… It doesnt fit! Godd@mmit! I promise! I tried! Multiple times! Because the DD bras are usually not nearly as cute as the C bras.
I have stopped trying to buy pole wear online. I have an ass. I just do, its a way bigger problem than my boobs, which really don't seem that big to me, just big enough to be a problem. NOTHING covers my bum unless its really un-cute bicycle shorts style. I dont like butt cleavage and cheek peek. Both of those are a huge problem for me. AT THE SAME TIME. gross.
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@corby Just big enough to be a problem… I hear ya! I'm 5'5" and 138 lbs (just checked, lol) and I happen to be curvy. I don't know on what planet that qualifies as being plus sized, but it sure feels that way when I shop.
I tend to like British brands for lingerie. They seem more willing to accept that real women have curves, and yes, there is a wide range of shapes between stick and beach ball!
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yeah it really bothered me for a while and I think I even cried 🙁 my fiance was like "its the clothes that dont fit you, not you that doesnt fit the clothes" but that wasn't much consolation. When I emailed them the owner said they were intending to come out with larger sizes and they would totally send me some to test drive for them….of course neither of these things ever happened and this was a year and a half ago. I ended up re-selling the stuff I bought with my GC for less than retail so at least some other girls could enjoy it. I wish I wasn't so nice to keep their name hidden because they are probably the leader in pole wear and it's really sad they can't include everyone. Her email was condescending and I felt like they were judging me for needing a larger size. But the owner of Vertical Edge is more my body type so thankfully there is finally someone who gets it, and I hope more lines like hers come out in the future when people realize not all polers have the same body type!
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I feel sad, Glitter, that you've been on the receiving end of so much rudeness in the pole community. You don't deserve it. (None of us does.)
You'd think that a leading provider of clothes for pole dancers would understand the importance of boobal coverage and support. I can't help thinking of strippers with implants that push them into the D+ sizes. I mean, maybe it's a little less important to have adequate coverage and support when you're just gonna take it off anyway, but still, these ladies have to get their costumes somewhere, right?
I can kinda see the point in limiting the selection to certain sizes – after all, it does cost money to produce and stock all the different sizes in all the different colors, so if you want to make a profit, you narrow things down to the stuff you'll sell the most of. And we curvy girls are in the minority among polers, at least from my perspective – I've seen more dancers who have, say, Veena's body type than I've seen those who share mine. (No hate or disrespect, V!)
So I get it from a business perspective. But there's *opportunity* here. There's an entire underserved market with money to spend. How this escapes the attention of so many retailers is beyond me.
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I'm a US 30G. I've had a very pretty pole bra made for my size by Sweet Vixen Couture which really fits. Not sure if that's an option for you though. The changing of size didn't cost extra 🙂
As a normal sport and pole bra I have a favorite model that unfortunately is only sold in the UK, so probably also not an option for you. Just FYI, here it is:
I have it in different colours. It's not as ugly as other support sport bras and soooo comfortable 🙂
@glitter: I think even without you posting the name people will know which brand it was https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif
@portableninja: That's interesting, I've been buying my bras for years in the UK. They don't sell my size here in Germany. Didn't know it was the same problem with US brands 🙂
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It's nice to know there are others dealing with these issues. Since we're all venting here, I find it hurtful when people minimize my complaints about these kinds of issues. Have you ever complained about this type of thing and gotten a lot of attitude in response? Like "oh shut up, I wish I had your problem" or "some people pay a lot of money for those." They are so jealous of my figure, but they don't have to deal with back pain, clothing alterations, expensive lingerie, etc. There are so many days I wish I could just take off a padded bra and be small chested. But if I say that, then I'm being ungrateful. The grass is always greener I guess – curly haired people envy people with straight hair, and vice versa.
We are all beautiful. It's hard not to get a complex when most of our role models don't look like us. But I've seen the pictures and videos on this site of many women (and men) of all shapes and sizes doing incredible things. I don't look anything like Veena, but when I see her videos, I don't think about how skinny she is. I just think, man, I can't wait till I can do that!
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I've definitely gotten reactions like those you describe, Ninja. Usually I'm quick to point out to the disadvantages associated with my chest size.
"I wish I had boobs as big as yours!"
"You say that now, but come swimsuit shopping with me sometime."I try to be sensitive, though. For many women, curves are a symbol of femininity. I can understand how women who have string-bean bodies or who aren't well-endowed in the breast department feel less feminine because of it. (That's a big part of the problem I have with the "real women have curves" campaigns; non-curvy women are real women too.)
I know what it's like to not feel feminine. Before pole, I was not very in touch with my feminine side and often felt I had trouble relating to women because I didn't feel, well, woman enough. Even with huge breasts and a decent ass! I did not feel very "female" on the inside.
Not only that, but there is sexual/social status involved with having large breasts. In our "bigger is better" culture, it's assumed that women with big tits have better luck with men. They get more attention, are more desirable, and stand out in crowds. What some women who have never experienced large-breastitude don't always realize is that, well, we don't necessarily want all that extra attention. Sure, we might have an advantage getting that cute guy across the bar to notice us, but not before every other creeper in the place has undressed us with his eyes, touched or groped us, or made some sort of comment to let us know he noticed our boobs before anything else on us.
It's a grass is always greener thing for sure.
I admit I've had some fun with it, too, though. I have a guy friend who has motorboating privileges. 😉 And at parties in college, I used to stick a bottle of drink in my cleavage and lean back to drink it with no hands. A couple weeks ago I attended a drag show, and BOY did the drag queens give a lot of attention to my boobs (to be fair, I was wearing them high and tight – cleavage ahoy!).
I've been thinking about a reduction since I was still a teen, but it wasn't until this past summer that I actually *decided* to go for it, after Husband and I decided we're not planning to have kids. I was sort of shocked to feel a little panicky after I made the choice – I didn't realize I'd come to identify with my breasts. I'm used to being a woman with big boobs, used to the comments and attention (welcome or unwelcome), used to commiserating with my well-breasted sisters… I'd been so focused on the physical benefits of the surgery, I'd not considered that it could affect my identity and sense of self.
Like, if you woke up tomorrow and were a B cup, you'd probably be physically and emotionally relieved – but wouldn't it be strange to see yourself that way? Would you recognize yourself without your boobs? Might you miss them, even a little bit?
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OK, the Curvaceous Tula Top from Mika came in the mail yesterday. And…did not fit. 🙁 It was great around the ribs, but still not enough material to hold everything in. I thought I'd take a chance because it said the XL could fit up to 36DD, and I'm 38… but no.
I'm still going to hang onto it, though, because I think I could layer it over one of my aging, fading sports bras, and it matches my pole shorts. And who knows, when I get the reduction, I might be able to use it by itself.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. At least now I know a Mika XL is not XL enough. *Sigh* back to the drawing board… wish I knew how to sew…
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You might consider a soft cup bikini or tankini top from Freya. They are the only bathing suits I wear anymore. They come in a lot of cute colors and are sized by your bra measurement. Also, you can wear them on the beach and in the pool… so it's easier to justify the purchase. 🙂
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And if it makes you feel any better, I just ordered two minimizer bras to try (in an attempt to make a blazer fit properly over my bust) and I'll have to mail them both back. Not only are they uncomfortable, but they don't minimize at all… I think they make me look bigger!
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I love this thread! Thank you for starting it.
I used to be a 38H – nursing twins, so there was some serious work going on there. My normal size is 36DD, but for the life of me I can't find great bra's or tops. Acceptable ones, yes, but nothing that is fun or cute or flirty, everything looks so industrial and sturdy -ugh!
I have always said that if I could donate to the "less fortunate" I would, in a heartbeat, but I haven't every stopped to consider the personal identity associated with being a large breasted woman. Good thought provoking idea Pankake! It's something I'll be mulling over for a while.
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