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Exhausted and going nowhere
Hi Ladies… I think I just need to vent, but any help is also appreciated…
So.. this might be a little longer:
My friend and I started poling two and a half years ago. Because there is no good studio around, our home space is limited and we wanted to share our love of pole, we opened our own studio some 16 months ago. It’s going really well and I think we can be proud of the program and everything we came up with.I really love teaching. Really. And I love most of my students. Really. But:
I also work full time and am away from home for my regular Job about 10 hours a day. So the days I’m in the studio, I leave home at 7 in the morning and don’t return before 10 at night.
I try to recover on the weekends and try do do everything else (like household) on non-studio days. Sometimes this works just fine, but on some days I feel that I just don’t have any energy. I feel that I can’t keep going like that a lot longer.
Because, problem is, even when I don’t teach, there is always something to do, studio related. Like answering mails, phone calls, cleaning, ordering stuff, advertising, organizing whatever. Plus, we sometimes have bachelorette parties and workshops on the weekends.
I can’t really recall when I practised successfully for myself.And that makes me really sad.
So I need to change something.
First thing to change is, getting more instructors. I have two girls who take the expert course this summer. And getting a cleaning-lady.
Problem is, I like to have control over everything and therefore, I don’t like to give things that seem important to me in someone elses hands.
Ok, I don’t have a problem with someone else cleaning the studio. But I sort of do have a problem with someone else teaching classes but my friend or answering mails. Ok, maybe I just have to have more trust…Anyway, as stated before, I don’t really have time for my own practise. In the evening after classes I’m usually just too exausted to do anything. I’m hungry and tired. I can’t motivate me on weekends either, because, as much as I love the studio, sometimes I just need a break (plus, I’m usually doing a lot for the studio on the weekend anyways…).
I guess I need to arrange classes for myself, so I have a date fixed and no “excuse”. Maybe once a month. Problem is, there is no one around who is a really good instructor. Or I haven’t found her yet. The closest would be Hanka Venselaar from the Netherlands. Been there last fall and liked it a lot!
And planning vacation near a good studio would also be great.
Also, I don’t have a real plan for my pole journey either. I want to be more flexible, have better lines and would love to learn some more tricks. I’m not talented in either way; the only thing I think I’m really good at is teaching…
I would love to leave my regular job, but that would be more than stupid. The studio can’t really pay my bills, plus my regular job is a lifetime employment. And reducing hours isn’t possible, unless I’d have a kid or an elder to care for (which wouldn’t give me more time either).
And I’m stuck in this position for the next 2 years, so having a position closer to my home isn’t possible right now either (I drive about 1 hour each way atm which sucks).Can anyone relate? Any suggestions?
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9 Replies
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The important thing here is that you realize that you are exhausted and possibly burnt out. Don’t be so hard on yourself. That is just taking energy away from you. Try to find few moments throughout your day to stop and recognize all the work you do. Breath deep for a few minutes. Obviously you are overwhelmed. So let a few things go. I am a total control freak and I get the trust part. But sometimes you HAVE to delegate.
Collect all of your basic daily tasks. Put these tasks into a YOU section and a SOMEONE ELSE section. Take each of those sections and put them into a heiarchy of most important to least important. As you go through these you can move them around as you feel comfortable.
So a little organization and a lot of self recongnition can go a long way! Hope this helps. Good luck.
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I had this problem years ago when I ran a barn, trained horses, and taught riding lessons. Unfortunately it kinda ruined my love of horses. I’ve also had the same problem with writing. Seven books in 4 years really burned me out. If I were you I’d try to reduce the classes I teach to keep fresh. Maybe swap it with Flexi training and personal poling
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I’m the same personality type you are I think. I realize that I’m overworked and spread myself too thin. I also realize I need help. But I HATE delegating things to others. I like to make sure that it’s done the right way. The way I like it done. Makes it hard to hire help…
The studio I went to the owner was the main instructor. However, for the “intro” class (a one night class to get people interested in pole and see what it’s about) and the 8 week beginner course, she had other instructors. She hired two women who had been coming to the studio for a long time that she developed a friendship and trust with. She knew that they could handle these courses without worry. She would also sub or co-teach with them one or two nights on the 8 week course. Also, this left her with an option for a substitute teacher if she was going to be out of town for any of her other classes. She would just have the women go back to basics for a night or choose what they wanted to work on of the things they already knew.
As for answering emails, you’ve got to have a student with time to do that for you and who loves your classes enough to really encourage the people emailing you. Actually a student who is taking your classes might be the perfect person to answer emails. Someone who is taking your classes and enjoys them can pass on that love and enthusiasm to people wondering about pole. And any emails they can’t answer or don’t feel comfortable answering can be passed on to you.
Hope you find some balance soon. I know all too well what it’s like to be stretched as far as you can go just waiting to snap. It would be better to let go a little and hire a few people than to have your studio go down in quality (for you or the students) because you’ve run yourself ragged. Best of luck!
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A friend of mine had this problem too- she was running a pole studio here for a little while, along with a couple of other teachers, and none of them had any time to dance on their own! She was super strong because she did so much pole work… but none of it was really “for her,” it was pretty much all teaching. Anytime I got her to dance with me she would comment that she “Never does this anymore,” and would easily slip into teaching me something, because it seemed to be more comfortable for her.
It sounds like you have a really good plan, even if it is a little uncomfortable for you! Picking up some new instructors for your studio will be important! And, it’s good that you realize the importance and responsibility in teaching. Would it be possible for you to supervise a class that they teach for a bit, or have your friend do it? That way, you know that your students will be in good hands, and you can quickly (and discreetly) correct any blunders or missteps! I know that seems like more work, but maybe you could make it one of the classes you teach already- instead of adding more time to your schedule, you’ll be using the same time, but simply observing, rather than actively teaching.
In the end, it sounds like having more teachers for the studio will really benefit you!
Maybe you can also schedule your time for e-mails and phone calls. Yes, they need to be dealt with, but perhaps you could just say “I’ll do an hour each day, and that’s it!” Your time is precious! Does your friend help with e-mails and phone calls as well? Perhaps there’s a way for you to delegate some of those tasks! You could hire a part-time front desk person?But, yeah, it sounds like you’ve reached burnout… I’ve been there, and I think lots of us have! It’s really hard, but don’t forget that you’ve taken on a big project… and you ARE doing it! That’s something to be proud of! You made it happen. Now, you just need to slowly and carefully step back a bit. 😉
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Thanks ladies! I really like some of your advice and will try to make it happen.
In fact, I thik even writing it down and “having said it” helped me a lot.Yesterday was a really good day, althogh I was tired.
My first class was awesome, the girls didn’t complain as much (my monday class is my “oh-no-I-can’t-do-that-I’m-not-strong-enough-this-hurts”-class) and got some tricks the’ve been struggeling with.
My strong&flexi class was great (honestly it’s a class I mostly do for myself, otherwise I don’t really have time or energy to stretch much).
And at pole play, I even had time to practise a little bit for myself; I even did a cartwheel mount (my all-time-nemesis-move) on both sides with practically no help.Before class I arranged a private with Hanka in May so I have something to look Forward to.
I will now start to look for a cleaning person and get the two girls I picked out to be instructors more into co-teaching my classes and prepare them, so after the summer vacation they might be able to teach a class together.
Me and my friend usually switch our classes, so the students get to have the best of both of us, and that’s what we also plan to do when the other two girls start teaching.
A front desk person is unfortunatlely out of question, I can’t afford that at the moment, but I like the idea. Maybe next year… -
Regarding a front desk person – if one of your students was willing to do this you could possibly do an exchange for lessons / pole play instead of paying them =)
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I feel the same as tacha only I don’t have the honor of claiming ownership (although I do know that comes with its own burden at times). Tacha what do you do to keep your content fresh aside from flip flopping instructor schedules – as in how the heck do you find the time among all the other studio responsibilities and the separate regular job etc to add new (even aside from the issue of finding your own practice time)? Polekat that’s a really good idea for the volunteer. I’ve wanted to open a studio but know there wouldn’t be funding to pay an employee….I’m wondering if the “volunteer” would be a legit thing though for services exchanged and how much management is really allowed before it’s an actual employee? Just curious if anyone has exp or insight on this
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Tigerschick, me and my friend spent a lot of time working out a system that can be repeated over and over and still is adjustable for something new. I think it works so well because we are a pole DANCE studio and not a tricks studio. That means, we usually create some dance moves around the trick(s) which can be swapped once in a while. And while we focus on dance, it takes the student more time to learn tricks, but when they do, they usually do them pretty on their first try. We focus a lot on form, so everything takes longer in the first place, so we as instructors don’t need to hurry to come up with the next trick.
In our strictly dance class we don’t have a plan at all, and since that class is drop-in and you never know who will turn up, we do the combos on the fly – which I really love because while I’m teaching, I sometimes get totally new ideas and moves, so that is a benefit for myself as well! If you want to know more, feel free to pm me!
Well, here in Germany the work-for-classes-thing would be considered black labor, but if you don’t shout out what you’re doing and everyone is briefed on what to say in case of questioning, I don’t think you get problems.
But you can always pay them very little and suplement it with free classes I guess. -
and wanted to let our two students teach the now starting Level-1-course. We will to a teacher training ahead of each class to show them how teach the moves and we’ll supervise their teaching. We’ll conitinue to do so through the level-2-course as well. It’ll take some more work, but I hope that it’ll pay off in the end so they are able to teach the next level-1-course and the level-2-course after that all by themselves.
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