Getting over the 'fear'

leyrose started this discussion · 8/27/2013

Hi everyone! I've only recently started poling and been doing it for about a month, teaching myself at home with Veena's lessons. I then started going to classes and love them too! Yesterday was the first time I did an invert... after only 4 pole lessons! My teacher said I was ready so she showed me and I got the move fine. But THEN she told me to let go off the pole and do a reverse handstand into superman dismount. I just felt so scared letting go while being upside down... I don't know what it is! So basically I am just asking if those of you who have been scared (I have intense fear of heights) have slowly got over your fear? I started pole to get fit but also to conquer my terrible fears I have about heights.

18 replies

blueyedgrl · 8/27/2013
Hi, i've been poling since may and did a basic invert recently on my home pole and in class. i'm not an expert on the subject but holy crap you should be given some time to advance when you feel confident with the previous move. in other words work next on extending into a full invert with hands on pole above your head and then try hands free when you trust and master the full invert with hands on pole. does your instructor know your experience level? I wouldn't feel shy about telling her you are not ready or comfortable with something. also you can try inverted stuff low to ground first until youre confident.
Runemist34 · 8/27/2013
Oh man, that sounds much more advanced than what most people are ready for, after a month of pole! Have you been particularly active with anything else previously? Anyways, the idea of fear while being upside down... is something I'm terribly familiar with. I HATE being upside down! Seriously, HATE it! I actually had to help myself get through it a bit by hanging my head upside down off the couch for a bit. I generally find that going a CKR is easier, and I feel much more secure being upside down in that position... but I certainly didn't start that way! I really had to practice that move, slowly and consistently. My CAR is NOT feeling secure, and I've only done it once properly. It'll be one of those moves I work on for a long time before I'm comfortable with it. My basic invert? Well... unfortunately I am still not secure enough to let go with my hands. I know that it's a mind-over-matter thing, that I'm psyching myself out about it... but, well, I'm upside down and really very uncomfortable! So... the verdict is that yes, there are people out there that get very uncomfortable doing upside down moves. As you get into tougher moves, I know that those issues get worse, but that they can be worked through! Take your time, and do what's comfortable for you... and then push yourself just a little bit every time. At least if you're practicing letting go in your CKR or CAR without putting yourself upside down, it's an awesome ab workout!
leyrose · 8/27/2013
Thanks for your replies! It's good to know that I am not alone! I used to figure skate competitively so I have strong thighs from jumping and am also fairly flexible. My instructor knew full well how long I have been poling for too. I was eager to learn the invert but yes I totally agree...I hate being upside down! I am okay with my CKR too, I taught myself that after two weeks of pole but cannot do a CAR yet, I don't feel confident enough in my leg strength. Thank you for your tips though, I will definitely practice getting more conform able with inverting then moving my hands above my head. I have practiced the invert into handstand then superman dismount on my pole at home and felt more confident but still being upside down is awful! Hopefully I will get over the fear in time! Thanks for all your help lovely ladies!
danni6285 · 8/27/2013
I just had to reply when I saw the figure skating :) I use to do it competitively :D although I did stop about 10 years ago so when I started pole my fitness was literally at zero :0 I have been poling for just under a year and I did not learn an invert till I had been poling about 8 weeks (one class per week) at the beginning it was literally just spins ect to build confidence and get you use to the pole. Then once the inverting started it was getting use to crucifix WITH your hands on and until then no hands were removed, my teacher then would do a hand at a time, like take your right off, put it back on then take you left off. Can I ask do you use crash mats (like lulu mats?) I find that without mats I am very aware of the fall I could take :-/ I think everyone learns and loses their fear at different stages so you must work at your own pace and what feels comfortable to you :)
NinaRockNPole · 8/27/2013
In my pole studio we have level-classes so only at the end of level 2 we learn the invert crucifix. I am level 3 now with all the inverted tricks which are hard to learn for me. so you are very fast .. really! Only let go if you feel secure enough .. I once fell of the pole . didn't hurt much but was very disappointed. But this was due to my lack of faith in my arms holding me in a handstand. My absolute nemessis move is the CKR ... can't seem to let go w/ my hands so I totally get what you are talking about. Its just a matter of time until you can let go .. don't worry too much ... its all practice and having trust in your grip with your legs. once you feel secure enough just let go with one hand and afterwards with the other.
KungFuPuddyTat · 8/27/2013
I am terribly scared of heights too and every time I go upside down I feel sick. My instructor was (and still is) great though. She would be my spotter when I was scared and always made sure I felt safe and secure while still pushing my limits a little bit at a time - starting with loosening my grip, then one hand off the pole, then the other hand etc. Because she was so supportive I am now progressing really well and enjoying myself. I still get nervous however, which is good because it makes me concentrate and be careful, but I'm much more willing to try new things than I was a couple of months ago because of the safe, systematic way in which my teacher takes me through tricks. Studio Veena also helped me enormously - via both the lessons and community interaction - as you can bounce ideas off people, gain inspiration from everyone, get excited for each other and support each other. My husband has also noticed a huge change in my confidence since I started poling in April. As long as you go at your own pace and have the proper support you will achieve amazing things. It might seem insurmountable now, but believe me - slowly the fear becomes smaller and smaller as you fight it with more knowledge and greater skills, eventually it will loosen it's stranglehold over you, becoming a vague memory or possibly even disappearing totally. Good luck with your pole journey - I know my fear is being conquered every time I get on my pole. Will it disappear entirely? I'm not sure, but I'm having so much fun and making so many new friends with my new "love" that I don't mind going a bit slower than some others if it means I keep spinning and inverting on my pole :)
chemgoddess1 · 8/27/2013
I suggest looking at the lesson for the reverse handstand. From that work into releasing your hands. Once you are comfortable with that I would say you can work on it from an invert. There is a lot more going on in an invert...removing your hand from behind your legs, twisting the body, and then finally inverted crucifix. If your legs grip is just so so then you are screwed. On top of that, planking down is not easy. Most people when just learning twist down as it is easier and safer and teaches you how to control your leg grip. These are all small but essential steps that should be learned. As for getting over the fear of heights, that will come with confidence. I HATE ladders and being on edges of things but I can honestly say that ladders do not bother me so much any more since my balance and ability to hold my body weight is solid. When I first started going to a studio it used to freak me out to go higher on their pole than on my pole at home....not so much climbing but aerial inverts and such. Once I was totally secure in my safety moves and ability to abort without crashing to the ground that fear lessened. And probably the #1 inverted safety move is inverted crucifix (going back to earlier). However I will say that at close to 6 years in I still cannot handspring/cartwheel.
portableninja · 8/27/2013
When you're in a basic inverted position, your head is the closest thing to the ground. Don't let that freak you out, but obviously if you fall headfirst, that is much worse than hands first, or chest first, or even shoulders/back first. Though it may be scary to let go with your hands in an invert, remember that having anything between your head and the floor adds a measure of safety. The inverted crucifix to superman dismount, or basic invert to upper shoulders/back (what Veena calls the basic dismount) are both super important as escape moves. You can practice doing shoulder stands and reverse handstands on the floor to get used to the inverted positions. I have found myself in some precarious positions on the pole before, but as long as I can get to one of these safe dismount positions, I can get down safely.
leyrose · 8/27/2013
Thanks so so much for all your help!! Would you believe I didn't even think of just practising the reverse handstand by itself? I think that's what I will be doing! And I totally agree now about having the hands between the floor and my head as a measure of safety! I think if I keep telling myself that then I will be able to do it! Thank you so much everyone! I guess I am just frustrated with myself as itbs taking time to get th invert but yet it only took a little while to get other moves.
leyrose · 8/27/2013
And no we dont have crash mats... The floors are wooden which scares me more than my pole at home which has carpet under it... I know the carpet is not ideal for dancing and spinning of the floor but it is the only space I have to put it and I do like the softer flooring!
Rylonn · 8/27/2013
Maybe you can place some yoga mats folded over once, instead of a crash mat. I know it wont reduce injury by much, but for me, it certainly makes me FEEL much safer and confident than just having the hardwood beneath me :)
Runemist34 · 8/27/2013
Generally for crash mats I just use pillows or couch cushions ;)
leyrose · 8/27/2013
Rylonn that is a great idea for the studio as we do have yoga mats and I won't look silly doing it either! Couch cusions are a great idea thanks Runemist! I have a couch right next to my pole at home so i can just remove the cushions from it...easy!
Mary Ellyn · 8/27/2013
This is very disappointing to hear! First you should have crash mats. Just spotting a student is sometimes not enough. Additionally you should never be asked to release your grip on the pole the first time you invert! It is overwhelming enough to go upside down, now to learn to coordinate removing your hands and seeing IF your legs have the proper grip is going to be very confusing. Plus that is two very different techniques to learn. Your instructor should go over how to releaser your grip to hold on in inverted crucifix AFTER you have perfected your basic invert. Having your hands between yourself and the floor is only good if you already have a secure hold from your invert. This is very different from doing a reverse hand stand and seeing if you can take your hands off the floor...which would be safer. Finally what is she thinking that she expects you to do something she hasn't discussed or demonstrated before you got upside down??? I'm not at all surprised you were nervous! Everyone is nervous when they first invert but this would make you even more so. Keep her informed when you are afraid and say something like I'm not feeling ready to try that next. I also want to point out that being as strong as superman doesn't mean you are ready to progress to certain moves. You need familiarity with the pole and how to use it before you try some moves so that you feel a bit more coordinated before you do other things.
Youngs7 · 8/28/2013
Oh my goodness... When I started poling, the fear of falling was one of my first discussions I posted on Veena; therefore, I know how you feel. I am terribly afraid of heights. I have been back to poling just shortly due to taking a break to have my daughter, so now I feel as if I need to get over the fear all over again. You are doing really good just to be poling for a month. I have been taking my time to work on my fear of heights, so I have not been doing inverts yet but working my way into it. My body is ready to invert, but my mind is not. :) I am really afraid, so once I work into it, then I will gain more confidence in doing it. Congrats on doing your inverts but I would say not to let go of the pole until you trust yourself. You will know when you're ready to move into the next step. I wish I were there at the invert stage but confidence will bring comfort for doing those moves. I don't want to get anxiety because I am afraid of inverting at this time causing me more problems although I can't wait to do it. :) Keep up the good work and continue to have fun poling. As you become more comfortable, the fear will subside. You still WOW me by inverting already and just started poling a month ago. :)
leyrose · 8/28/2013
Glad to know I'm not alone Youngs7! Heights scare me so much that walking up more than three rungs on a ladder makes me shake! I am sure you will slowly begin to conquer your fear as I feel I am slowly too... Last night I had another go on my pole with cushions all around the underneath and managed to invert the transition into reverse hand stand several times! I've found that I can be upside down facing the pole and let go with no problems but when I go up into my basic invert I can't let go of my hands for reverse crucifix. It's pretty much the same position but its the facing to/ from the pole that changes things... Very weird!!
Hazi411 · 8/29/2013
I am the same - couldn't go more than 3 rungs up a ladder. But now climb to the top of a pole no problem :-) and handstands - facing the pole freaks me out, back to the pole no problem ;-)
Cara Christina · 9/2/2013
I was, and still am, fairly terrified of heights. I've been poling for about 3 years and while it's improved, it still hasn't gone away entirely. Just take it slow. I spent 6 months just making myself climb to the top of the pole, touch the ceiling, and come down. Slowly, you will find tricks that you are really comfortable with and maybe move those a little higher (with appropriate spotting, mats, etc). Just be patient with yourself, like everything else in pole: it's a journey not a destination!