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I Am Not Your Blow-Up Doll
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The thing that bothers me the most is the fact that he’s such a jerk about the sex stuff and at the same time he’s the guy that will make me steak at 3 am if im hungry. Its like a split personality. I hate that he acts like an ass when i know he can be so wonderful. Im hoping his attitude changes when he goes back to work. He’s got two months or me and our dogs will be movin on.
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I'm sorry to hear you guys are having such a hard time with this!
Men can be so goddamn difficult. I'm lucky that I've never really been in a similar situation…if anything it's actually been the opposite. I've wanted it and he has been too tired / sick or whatnot. But never, would I ever make him feel guilty or shitty about that. Of course sex is an important part of a relationship, but it is not, and should not, be the be all and end all. If we go a week or two (or three) without, then I might get a little (ahem) frustrated, but I know it'll pick back up again.
The difference though between that and what you guys are going through is a degree of respect. Like you said horsecrazy, you're being treated like a piece of meat, which I think should absolutely not be on. This might be a bit extreme, but I feel I should mention it anyway, in case there are other people in same or worse situations…
If you say no, that should be the end of it. If you are sick, or if you just aren't in the mood then your partner has no right whatsoever to make you feel guilty or shitty about that. That is emotional abuse, pure and simple. It is manipulative. Further, if you say no and end up giving in just to shut him/her up then that is not consensual sex in the eyes of the (Australian) law. (It would probably be very similar to other countries that share similar viewpoints on sexual assault).
Betsyevil, I'm a bit concerned for your situation. I hope it all works out for you, but really, harassing you for not poling naked and not wanting to take naked pictures is pretty disgusting behaviour IMO.
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