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I am not getting any better.
I have only been to a few pole classes, so it might be a bit soon for me to start worrying. It's just that I don't seem to be able to get any of the moves. I was there tonight, still struggling with the first weeks spins, surrounding me were my classmates already climbing the pole and spinning gracefully.
I know it takes time and practice, but I don't understand why it's just me that can't do it. I don't trust myself enough to lift myself up or grip the pole correctly. I either grip it so tightly I can move anywhere or it feels like I am going to fly off.
I was wondering if anyone else had similar experiences to me and how they were able to overcome them. I am feeling pretty down about it right now 🙁
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11 Replies
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Stop comparing yourself to everyone else's progress. We all progress differently- just like no two people are completely the same- no two people can achieve physical things the same. Sounds like you're focusing too much on how everyone else is doing things and clearly how they're doing certain things isn't working for you. Have you had personal alone time with your pole? It may sound silly but being able to just focus on your pole and just what you're doing can really help. Try turning off what everyone else is doing around you and just focus completely on you and your pole. Sometimes those environmental distractions can keep us from progressing, especially if they consist of others who are excelling at a faster rate than we are. We just want to be like everyone else! I think it's way too early for you to be getting so frustrated. It's only been a few classes and depending on your dance/fitness background things may or may not click like you want them to. Your slippery grip could be related to the fact you're getting frustrated which causes your body to perspire more. Some people experience excessive perspiration in their hands for a number of reasons- if you have to constantly wipe your pole, don't be ashamed or embarrassed- just do it. I like to keep a towel handy in class with a bottle of water & alcohol mixture to spray and wipe my pole. Some days I'm more slippery than others and when doing spins, I like a fresh pole. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif You also may need to focus on wrist, forearm, and hand strengthening exercises. Your pole instructor should be able to provide you with strengthening exercises, however if you come from a studio where the instructors are not educated in this area (why they are teaching is beyond me?? But this does happen) then you can research exercises on YouTube and I believe Veena has some in her strengthening section of her lessons. There's resources out there and if you can't rely on your studio to be able to provide you with them, then you just have to take that responsibility upon educating yourself. With that said, also focus on shoulder strengthening and conditioning exercises. A lot of beginners with no previous background in dance lack proper postural alignment. Again, this is something your instructor should be looking at and able to direct you. You may want to inquire about a private lesson with your instructor. I understand sometimes depending on class size it can be difficult to pinpoint every student and correct everything you see them doing incorrectly, especially if you don't want to single them out- ESPECIALLY if they are already frustrated with their progress. If you have the means, I highly recommend seeking out a private lesson. You may find certain things you're doing wrong get the proper clarification it deserves when it's just you and the instructor. Sorry so long..my brain just blew up on this one. LOL.
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I couldn't do the fireman spin for a few lessons. The teacher had to come up with different ways for me to get my feet off of the ground. Meanwhile a friend who is not a serious poler but just has the electra pole at her house to entertain her boyfriend had a bunch of friends over who climbed it to the top without being on a pole ever. Just keep trying even failed attempts are useful because they are helping to develop the muscles you need to get it done.
Also if you stick with it as you build strength it won't take you as long with new moves further down the line. I was frustrated at first but now I'm glad I got off to a slow start because once I finally accomplished that simple spin from repeatedly trying. It gave me a feeling that I could get any move if I just put the work in. Now when I come across something in the advance stages that I struggle with I know the process of being persistent with it whereas I've seen other people just give up because they've been used to having it so easy.
Another thing I did was search moves I had trouble with on youtube. Some people like Joel Lessing/Poledancefan post their practise of repeated attempts which helped me break down the move and find other ways to get into it or maybe ways to slightly adjust my hands and legs. Forget about everyone else at your classes. We are all unique and when your body is ready you will make your progress 🙂 I have no doubt!
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Kobajo has some sound advice. Also talk to your instructor…she should be giving you modifications to these spins to help you gain your confidence and strength and get the feel of the move even with having both feet on the ground. And spins are NOT a beginner move (even though we all teach them as such)….there is a lot going on there!
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Thank you everyone for all the advice, I feel a lot better about it all now. It was just one of those crazy moments of panic. I have phoned my instructor and booked a private lesson to try see where I am going wrong, I even get to go to the stretch/strength building class for free this week 🙂 I might even buy my own pole for extra practice.
I know I was being ridiculous comparing myself, my instructor even told me it took her a very long time just to lift herself up and we are all already doing better than she was at this point. The bruises have just started to develop on the inside of my thighs and on my knees, for some strange reason they make me feel amazing 🙂
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1) It takes a while to build up the hand and arm strength the get a spin. 2) it also takes a while to get past that mental barrier of getting lift off and really letting yourself propel around the pole. There were some spins that I full well could have done, but it was my mental barrier that prevented me, not my physical barrier. 3) it is really typical for beginner to have a death grip, where they over grip. That will go away with time, once you build hand strength. You will learn the proper amount you need to grip in order to get around the pole in the spins.
Don't worry. This is all perfectly normal. When I first started, I could hardly get my feet off the ground. Just keep going and practicing. It will come. Like Kobajo said, don't compare yourself to other girls. They have already been doing it for a while, and everyone progresses at different speeds. Also, focus on what you DO learn.
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Everyone had great advice! Don't feel discouraged. If your looking for things you can do at home to improve strength I do have pole strength lessons and a Pole Strength Routine. Its a great workout and helps you build the necessary strength needed for pole. Give yourself time you'll get there! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_heart1.gif
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What everyone has said so far has been golden! Comparing yourself to other people is so pointless, especially since the grass is always greener – you will never see what you are good at, only what other people are better than you at!
Another useful piece of advice I have given to myself at times past is this – try looking at yourself in a mirror while you do it, just once every now and then. Chances are, you're a hell of a lot more graceful than you FEEL – everyone feels clumsy and terrible when they start a new trick!
If not – chin up! EVERYONE has felt like this at some stage, even those you look up to the most!
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Everyone has already said it all. 🙂 I just wanted to add that I couldn't even lift my feet off the ground for like the first month! It's normal, you'll get there. 🙂
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yep, it's all true. i couldn't even do a simple fireman spin when i first started. just work on your strength, and keep practicing!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif
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Took me a month to even hold myself up on the pole……got frustrated and almost took the pole down. Then I got Veenas lessons and a mirror and started to work. Once I did that, after two weeks, I was getting some basic spins down.
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You have received wonderful advice!
Many of us have been there. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and make a game plan! I was one of the weakest girls in class. I couldn't hold my feet off the ground for a second. With a heck of a lot of hard work and dedication… I improved.
I remember a forward spin that I couldn't get… every one else was. It felt like an agony! My ego was hurt and did I mention my ego was hurt? ; ) I was strong enough but couldn't get it for anything. A substitute instructor came over to me and shared I needed to fall forward with my body. I was shifting my weight back right after hooking my inside leg and therefore blowing the momentum of the spin. Now the instructor saw me struggle for three weeks and did not comment that one little piece of information. I watched everyone around me glide to the ground and I just flopped around feeling like a fool. Why she didn't share that tip with me I am not sure… maybe she didn't know. I could what if for days but that doesn't matter.
I felt bad about being 'weak' or 'slow' because I let myself feel bad. I focused on the 'can nots' and what others were doing. That was not productive for my goals, I refocused instead on what I wanted to do and more importantly… how I was going to get there. That is when I started to see progress.
Tailor your strategy to your learning style and resources. There are so many tools out there. Class instruction, Private instruction, Workshop, Online lessons, DVDs, Youtube, Pole Jams, Pole Buddies… and just putting the time in specific to the goals you have. What works the best for you right now? What works best with your learning style? Tailor this to you… this is all about you. Enjoy that! This is your journey.
I suspect you ARE getting better. Think of just one thing you CAN do that you were unable to before that first class. Even if it is having the confidence to strut up to that pole!
We'll be here for you waiting to hear more! : )
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