StudioVeena.com Forums Discussions I feel so frustrated

  • I feel so frustrated

    Posted by skramamme on May 10, 2015 at 3:10 am

    Sorry to vent but I hate how weak I am after 3 years of surgeries and being almost completely sedentary as a result.
    I was doing crossfit 4 times a week before my pelvic osteotomy and now I can’t even hold myself off the ground using the pole.
    I don’t know what to do or where to start 🙁
    It’s like having to go back to using a tricycle after riding a motorbike- I used to be able to do inverts and spins and helicopters and now I can’t even climb the pole into a pole sit (not well anyway).
    And the chrome is just… I can’t use it safely. I need to buy brass but can’t do that until mid July and I can’t afford to buy my lessons here either for at least another week or so.
    In the meantime I feel as if I am gaining weight by the day (stupid but necessary medications) and I just feel so damn lost and unfit and unhappy… I loathe my body and hate that I feel that way but I don’t know how not to feel like this.
    *sigh*
    I hope it’s ok to vent here, I’m just so over losing so much of my self to these surgeries (I had my pelvis broken in 3 places which then didn’t heal so it’s been a long road to partial recovery) and I am just shocked at how weak I am :\
    I miss the old me.
    I can’t wait til I can buy my years worth of lessons here- I guess in the meantime I’ll just keep dancing and doing some basic moves and trying to grip the pole as well as I can (the chrome and I don not mix well, so it requires dry hands every single time) but damn- it’s a shock seeing how far I have fallen behind.

    skramamme replied 9 years, 7 months ago 3 Members · 4 Replies
  • 4 Replies
  • Evjo

    Member
    May 10, 2015 at 6:53 am

    Oh no. I can sort of relate to this, I recently got a prolapse in my back, and my left foot is numb and weak. It hurts all the time to, and I have lost my splits. I just have to be patient, and I will be fine I hope sooner or later. I just want to say that I know the feeling when your body is not what you want it to be. Its so sad and frustrating. I hope that you will gain your strength back fast and be able to enjoy your progress even if it feels like nothing compared to what is used to be. Baby steps can also be big steps, and some day you will have it all back. Hugs Eva

  • Andrea Pole

    Member
    May 10, 2015 at 6:56 am

    I’m sorry to hear about your surgeries. I can only guess how hard it must be to feel your body weak when you know before you could handle 4 sessions of crossfit a week! (and that’s impressive!).
    Just think of how strong you will be after starting again on your journey of becoming fit. Yes, right know you can’t climb the pole but that’s to be exected after your surgeries! Absoutely none would expect you to be fit and strong, and you shouldn’t either. But you can start by slowly working out again and enjoying your small victories one by one. Since you know you won’t get that fit in 3 or 6 months, there is simply no use in feeling bad for yourself and focusing on what you can’t still do. Instead, focus on how strong you were, and how mentaly strong you are so you can train every week until one day you see how far you’ve gone and you can proudly say to the others (and specially to yourself) that you’ve overcome those surgeries and become fit again. That’s something to look foward to!

    I know how difficult it is to always be positive and how easy it is to say all this without suffering in first person. There are sometimes when I just want to vent and feel a little bit better, but then I have to remember to look at myself from other point of view because that always helps. Sorry, I don’t know if I explained myself correctly!

  • skramamme

    Member
    May 10, 2015 at 7:11 am

    Thanks Andrea and Eva- Andrea, I totally understand what you mean 🙂 And I appreciate your positive words of encouragement

  • skramamme

    Member
    May 10, 2015 at 7:13 am

    Sorry- my message was cut off :p
    Eva, I am so sorry to hear about your back- I just tweaked mine overstretching and that is enough to have me holding back. I can only imagine how hard t must be having to deal with a prolapse 🙁
    I hope it can be resolved soon and that the pain eases for you asap.
    I guess it’s just a shock to see where I am now compared to my old self.
    Thank god for muscle memory haha 😉
    Plus being a little flexi will be helpful- I can get my arms into the iguana hold, even if I am nowhere near strong enough to try the move, so I have those sorts of things in my favour.
    Plus working as a table top dancer for many years helps me with the dancing side, I just need to get used to the pain of the pole (I honestly do *not* remember it hurting that bad haha) and get my strength up again and I’ll be doing drop splits in no time 😉
    Thanks for your support

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