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I feel so frustrated
Sorry to vent but I hate how weak I am after 3 years of surgeries and being almost completely sedentary as a result.
I was doing crossfit 4 times a week before my pelvic osteotomy and now I can’t even hold myself off the ground using the pole.
I don’t know what to do or where to start 🙁
It’s like having to go back to using a tricycle after riding a motorbike- I used to be able to do inverts and spins and helicopters and now I can’t even climb the pole into a pole sit (not well anyway).
And the chrome is just… I can’t use it safely. I need to buy brass but can’t do that until mid July and I can’t afford to buy my lessons here either for at least another week or so.
In the meantime I feel as if I am gaining weight by the day (stupid but necessary medications) and I just feel so damn lost and unfit and unhappy… I loathe my body and hate that I feel that way but I don’t know how not to feel like this.
*sigh*
I hope it’s ok to vent here, I’m just so over losing so much of my self to these surgeries (I had my pelvis broken in 3 places which then didn’t heal so it’s been a long road to partial recovery) and I am just shocked at how weak I am :\
I miss the old me.
I can’t wait til I can buy my years worth of lessons here- I guess in the meantime I’ll just keep dancing and doing some basic moves and trying to grip the pole as well as I can (the chrome and I don not mix well, so it requires dry hands every single time) but damn- it’s a shock seeing how far I have fallen behind.
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