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If you are a feminist who poles…
To put this into context, I am proud to call myself a feminist, a pretty progressive or left-of-centre one at that. I have been doing art & activist work since I was in college, and a lot of my creative work is pretty edgy politically and sexually. I do have a "purely sparkly!!" entertainer side as well but most people who know me know that I am not one to back away form an artistic challenge.
What I am currently stumped by is how to respond to colleagues/peers/friends who I thought of as politically progressive saying things to me like : " The pole is a symbol of pain & oppression to women!" " I don't understand why you do burlesque" etc. I guess I can deal with what I see as sexual conservatism but I don't know how to respond on-point to fellow leftists because they will not accept any response other than "pole represents sexual slavery" or something to that nature. I am just stumped by the unbending nature of those statements.
I guess I knew when I started doing burlesque and training in pole that I was getting pretty close to touching what I call "the third rail" of sexually charged performance. ( yes, I know pole can be purely athletic and lyrical…I like all of that PLUS the sexy).
What are your suggestions?
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34 Replies
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Maybe tell them that you pole dance for you, and that you fully choose to do it, enjoy it, and feel empowered and beautiful because of it. If someone who claims to be progressive puts pole down so dramatically like that, I would tell them that I consider their statement to be very close-minded and not at all of the political and social stance they claim to adhere to. I don’t understand that argument, because pole is the opposite of oppressive to me. It is so freeing.
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Maybe people feel that way because stripping as a profession is often seen as something women would only do as a last resort, and that it's degrading for any woman who does it (It can be, but so can working in the fast food industry). So in a way, taking pole dance out of the stripping/sex industry context and doing it for your own enjoyment is the ultimate act of feminism, kind of taking the activity back for your own control and enjoyment rather than having to do it for the enjoyment of someone else. Sometimes I don't get people, they don't want somone else to enjoy your sexuality, they don't want you to enjoy your sexuality, who is supposed to benefit from it then? From a feminism standpoint, there are actually some extreme feminists who believe makeup, high heels, or basically anything women do to beautify themselves is a form of societal sexual slavery. Thankfully there are also feminists who are more balanced and validate those things and enjoy them.
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Right, I hear ya, believe me. It's very retrograde Andrea Dworkin-esque radical feminism..which I admit to being into in college for a bit before I moved to a ( IMO) more rational form of socialist feminism.
When I first started poling I admit I was pretty conflicted about the sexy floorwork and heels…I really signed on for the aerials, the strength etc. But doing more reading by other polers and taking Alethea's workshop really changed my mind about owning more fully the in-your-face yet intimate sexual side of poling…the heels, the crawling, all of it.
I personally also have an issue with any of us doing sexy dance work trying to make ourselves seem better than the women who work in clubs stripping, go-go dancing etc. It's all on a scale. Sexual slavery is oppressive. Not supporting the women who do work in the industry is not sisterly, IMO. But trying to explain that to my friends has felt like running up against a brick wall. I guess I had gotten my head and heart so into poling and into our community that I had forgotten what a dirty little secret we are to so many people still 🙁
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Sometimes I think the only way for someone to get it is to see it. If you are close enough with these critics send them a video or a link of an athletic pole performance. If someone told me pole represents sexual slavery I would tell them what it represents to me which is physical achievement, fitness, and most important to me: expression – artistic, contemporary, athletic and sexual (when I feel like it). It also represents women of all shapes and sizes ages and nationalities from all types of backgrounds and professions coming together in a supportive community. There is no need to argue past that. If they can't see it for what it is, it's their loss. Not everyone will understand so just feel fortunate that you are one of the ones who do and can reap all the benefits of this sport.
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Some of them have seen me perform. They've also seen my fellow polers perform ( which apparently is what started the drama). I should be clear that I have a lot of support for what I do and there are a lot of people who get it; are opening their minds etc. It doesn't make me feel better when they separate what I do ( "oh you are more artistic than th eother pole dancers I've seen etc")…I don't want that divide! That's snobbery. Some of my work is "artistic" but I plan on getting down and dirty when I damn well feel like!
I was just really hurt and surprised by some of these folks.
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To me, the answer is very simple (sex positive feminist): feminism must be about choice. It’s about women supporting other women in our efforts to explore undiscovered parts of ourselves. If I want to explore my potential by staying at home full-time to be the best mom I can be, you’d support me in that. If you wanted to explore yourself as a sexual being by experimenting in different sexual relationships, I’d support you in that (provided everyone is being safe!).
What’s the common thread there? A feminist view grounded in Mill that as long as what we are doing is done in an effort to seek progression of the self and doesn’t hurt anyone else, we ought to support each other as feminists in our choices regardless of whether or not we would make the same choice.
Perhaps the hugest strength of true feminists is that honest feminism does NOT look down on women who choose not to work outside the home or follow more “traditional” gender roles. A true feminist should not–would not–say to a homemaker that her lifestyle is damaging to women even though those structures in society have certainly been harmful to women in the past. If we can respect another woman who freely chooses to partake in patriarchal structures, we must respect pole dancers and businesswomen and even sex workers. Because the whole point of feminism is not that certain choices are wrong, but that no woman should have to feel pressured into OR bullied for her lifestyle choices.
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**and I suppose some might make the argument that sex workers cause harm when their customers violate the bonds of a relationship to use those services, but I would argue that this is also counter to feminism because it makes women responsible for men’s choices. If the clerk at the hardware store is not responsible for making sure that the poison you’re buying is for rats and not your family, then the sex worker is not responsible for making sure that her customers aren’t lying to anyone.
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Oh wow. Is there a like button for comments on here? Some of these responses are great. Um a symbols of pain and oppression to women? If I'd been drinking my soda when I read that it might have gotten it all over my keyboard. Really? Wow that's just so backwards to my way of thinking but then again, look at my name so maybe me calling something backwards is skewered but really? A symbol of pain and oppression? Yes I feel so oppressed when I'm upside down by my hands. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif I am so sorry you have to hear that stuff from people who should know better. Snobbery is in everything though, not just about pole dancing.
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Yeah, really good comments. Black Orchid, I think it's cool that you forget that some people don't understand pole dance, I think it means you are a positive person and anticipate positive from others. I agree though, it can be a shock to come accross people who don't see it as a positive thing even though it's such a positive thing for us.
"It doesn't make me feel better when they separate what I do ( "oh you are more artistic than th eother pole dancers I've seen etc")…I don't want that divide! That's snobbery."
I agree, and yet, I'm still not totally into the stripper aspect. Even though I love the sensual aspect of pole dance I can't get into some of the more graphic stipper-ish moves. I'm still trying to figure out if that's just residual from my conservative upbrining or if it just simply isn't my style. Like for instance the extreme platform style heels that are iconically known as stripper heels, for some reason they just look like hooves to me and I can't figure out if I truly just don't like the aesthetic of them or if it's just leftover conservative programming. I love how high heels in general look and love wearing them, just not "strippah" ones. Go figure.
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Honestly? I dont even bother coming up with any other answer than "I dont really care". I love pole dancing so much, it doesn't matter what people think. They can think Im a stripper aswell if they like. All that matters to me, is that I've found something I really love to do!
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I love this topic and need to find a way to copy it if i can. i work for an organisation which is aimed to empowering women and have often been on training courses with women calling themselves femanist but who seem to have missed the point (IMO). i have argued the point that for me I feel completely enpowered when on a pole and one trainer TOLD me I have been brainwashed by men to beilieve I'm empowered by pole dancing whilst falling for the oldest trick in the book ?!?
i think the bottom line for me is choices – if i can choose my path without oppression – be it stay at home Mum to running the counrty then i have achieved my femanist dream.
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Like many of you I also consider myself a feminist. As a scientist, I’m frequently silently pushed to reject my femininity by other women in the battle to compete with men. To deny my gender and sexual identity feels more like slavery to me, so I explore my identity as a strong, powerful, sexual person through my pole dance and refuse to compromise myself by de-womanizing myself in my professional world. I am equally capable in replacing the mufflers on my airboat, giving a conference talk in a skirt, and inverting in stripper heels. I refuse to compromise any part of my personal expression to satisfy a now-archaic idea of what a feminist must be. To any feminist who feels they must define who I am in order for me to be a feminist, I ask how that differs from the oppressive role men placed women for the millennia prior to women’s suffrage?
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Great topic. I was born and raised to a 60s feminist; it’s in my blood! 😉 My choices, oddly enough, have been almost opposite to the ones my own mother made and that alone has made me both question and awaken to my own definition of what it means to be a woman. That’s really the core, isn’t it? That we, and so many, have created definitions?
I love the sexy, sultry, sensuality that pole dancing offers me. Of all forms of movement, sexual interactions and experiences in my life, pole dancing makes me feel so connected to, and empowered by, me. I feel integrated on a levels; physically, emotionally, sexually, mentally and – yes – spiritually.
Yes, I have had the disapproving and questioning “looks” when I talk about pole, but I either don’t care, or choose carefully who to share my private joys with.
Having spent my life, my parenting, my spirituality and ideas so far from mainstream ways, I’ve grown used to – and more comfortable – with just being me.
Several years ago, it was a fun and empowering moment when my (then 14 y.o.) daughter and I pole danced together to “Miss Independent” for my mom! -
I am a feminist who poles and I refer you to Claire Griffin Sterett's excellent website:
She is also a feminist who poles and did her master's degree on the psychological benefits of poling. There is plenty of inspiration/ ammo there for you! Keep the faith sister!!!! 🙂
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Layla, I have read Claire's blog and there is some useful, inspiring stuff there. Thank you.
I know I can shrug them off if I want to…I guess as an activist artist you always want to engage people in conversation before walking away. Thanks for the support!
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