-
Introduction :: could be a long one!
Hello Gorgeous Creatures,
I have been lurking here for a couple of weeks now, and thought I should introduce myself !I am 48yr old from Melbourne, Australia.
And was introduced to pole around 12 months ago via S Factor classes.
At that time I had been dealing with perimenopause for around 6mths and felt totally lost …
no-one had ever thought to mention to me the huge emotional and physical changes which would begin around 10yrs before my actual menopause!
And, in my naivety I hadn’t thought to consider what might take place as my hormones started to decline.Until that time I had practiced yoga for 20+ years, and was a yoga teacher for around 12 years.
I have also been meditating since I was 17.
Suddenly my yoga classes were cancelled due to lack of students, and the yoga scene in Oz becoming highly *competitive*.
My yoga training and teaching was/is very *old school*, and approaching new studios for gigs was a dismal failure.
I was told that I was ‘stuck in the 90’s’ and that students these days prefer to multitask in class rather than meditate …
It felt like I had completely lost my whole identity – until I found SFactor … and a new way to move 🙂
So fluid, and sensual. Pleasurable! With none of the seriousness of yoga.
I could simply move without any ‘goal’ in mind …
and I realised that with my yoga practice there had always been a very subtle undercurrent of me *Not Being Good Enough*, whether as a teacher, or student, or even my own home practice.My S classes only run once per month, but I found myself practicing the movements almost every day at home.
For some strange reason in class when it came to learning pole I was terrified.
There is only one pole, and I just froze when my turn came around to replicate the latest move we had learnt.
So 2 months ago I enrolled in a Beginner Pole course at a Pole Studio …
and it was not at all what I was expecting!
But even though the course is based on ‘tricks’ and strength rather than movement, I find my body and mind responding so positively 🙂
My confidence seems to grow as my strength grows …
and for the first time I find myself doing something *just for me*, & for no other reason.
I work to improve my skills for the thrill of it, not because I am *broken* or *less than*.I am a very introverted person, with only a handful of female friends – none of whom have been very thrilled with my latest venture 🙁
{Please note, I have not tried to make them join me. I was simply excited to share what I’d been up to, and what I was discovering about myself}.
It is almost like they feel somehow ‘threatened’ or something ???
And I wonder if anyone here has experienced a similar thing?I have been told that it must be *mid life crisis*, and that I must be a *bored and lonely housewife*.
I’m not sure why that 2nd phrase bothers me so much.
Perhaps because there is a small element of truth to it …
But it always seems to be those particular words in my head when I practice at home, or in class.
And I am finding it difficult to overcome them sometimes …My friends are all yoga teachers, and I guess I can kind of understand that it takes courage to admit that perhaps yoga isn’t the be-all-and-end-all in life. It doesn’t solve everything.
Even after decades of practice it can leave you feeling less worthy, and less secure than ever before.Suddenly I am smiling, and finding joy in life, excited by my new practice … looking forward to it!
and now I can simply laugh at myself when I fall on my ass, rather than experience the horrid rush of shame and imperfection which used to occur when I didn’t practice yoga ‘perfectly’.
I can simply do my best at the pole … regardless of being twice the age of everyone else in class … and do my best to learn to not give a fk about others judgements of me.My hubby, bless him, is very intrigued and supportive.
He is certainly not complaining that I am suddenly buying 6″ Pleasers and tiny hotpants … even though he is yet to see me in them 😉
Admitedly, he doesn’t know about the pole I have on order!
It is due to arrive in 2 weeks, at which time I cannot wait to start the 30 day Take Off properly 🙂
I’ve been looking through the lessons and doing what I can do without a pole for now.Anyways, I feel that this is such a supportive community that I want to be a part of it too.
Thank you for taking the time to read this far, I truly appreciate it 🙂
One thing I have noticed over the past 12 months is how few people actually ‘listen’ to me.
I am more often than not the nondescript person in the room who simply goes unnoticed …Looking forward to getting to know everyone a little better,
with love, gina. x -
6 Replies
-
Welcome! You have come to the right place if you’re looking for a supportive community. I’m 49–think I’ve been poling about 5 years or so. Like you I find that most friends don’t express much interest in it or don’t know what to say and, at least at the beginning and sometimes now, it was/is my favorite thing to talk about! I imagine you can make pole-interested friends at the studio but I don’t go to the studio a lot and, like you, I’m generally twice the age of most of the others. I’m also introverted so making friends anywhere isn’t super easy for me. I find instagram to also be a good place to connect with people who “get it.”
I guess I would say try not to take it personally that your friends don’t get it. It took me a little while to “own” pole and not be embarrassed talking about it to some people. I wasn’t embarrassed about being a pole dancer but I was embarrassed by what other people might think of me pole dancing (if that makes sense). I think I figured any man I mentioned it to (friends, doctors, physical therapists, etc.) only picture me stripping and that embarrassed me. I’m totally over that now. I’ve learned that once I owned it and had not a trace of embarrassment or apology or whatever when I talk about it then people respond differently. And if they picture me stripping, that’s on them. My husband would say that’s what most men are doing anyway whether you’re talking about pole or what to get for lunch. 🙂 Also the longer I’ve done it the more people realize it’s legitimately one of my hobbies and not a phase.
I think pole does amazing things for self esteem for so many reasons and I wish all women would try it for that reason. I absolutely get a high for a day or two when I nail a new trick and I walk around feeling like I own the world. Nothing else in my life does that.
Enjoy! Wish I could see your husband’s face when the pole arrives. Bravo to him for being cool about it–they don’t all get it either.
-
Thank you @grayeyes for your warm welcome.
I really appreciate you taking the time, and your advice too 🙂Yes, I think I know what you mean about being embarrassed by what others might think of me pole dancing…I feel exactly the same way at the moment.Â
And I guess thats why it ‘hurt’ so much to not have the support from the few friends I trusted with that information.Anyways i look forward to hearing more from you 🙂
g. x -
Hello and welcome!
I love that you shared your story, I’m sure it will help and inspire others as well! Let me know if you have any question xoxo
-
Welcome to the group! You’ll find an amazing group of polers here, from all walks of life. ♡
-
Hi Gina! And welcome – really glad you came on here to introduce yourself. The pole community is super supportive and everyone on here is so kind and helpful. 🙂
I’m sorry you’re experiencing discrimination in the yoga community and with your friends. I’ve suffered one very minor bit of discrimination but I was lucky in that the person who made the derogatory comment recognized they were being unfair and apologized for it. I like what grayeyes said about “owning” it. When I first started learning I was a bit shy to talk about it, and when I did bring it up, everyone sort of followed my lead and treated it like some big taboo. When I stopped caring and started being completely nonchalant about it, everyone I told just thought it was cool.
I’m glad your hubby is being supportive. What type of pole did you end up going with? Looking forward to seeing your progress! 🙂
-
Thank you @Veena, @Neesy118 and @StrangeFox 🙂
I really appreciate the warm welcome. xx
I can see how important this community will be in helping me stay on track and motivated.Hope you are all enjoying a terrific week.
g. x
Log in to reply.