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Is this really “Constructive” Critisism?
So tonight in class we had a sub fill in for our regular instructor. She said to a student, “you’re having a tough time with this move because of your anatomy. Your thighs are a bit on the thicker side.” Was that supposed to be constructive? I don’t see how. Especially, since she was a sub and didn’t have any kind of relationship/friendship with this person. I started teaching recently and would never say that to a student. I guess I don’t get it. I mean what if this person is sensitive to this kind of stuff..or has an eating disorder or something? Sheesh! Thoughts?
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82 Replies
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WTH? That was way inappropriate. They should have commented on how the student was approaching the move with their body mechanics and made suggestions to help the student either 1) achieve the move after correcting their form 2) do movement that would prepare them for that particular move when they were more capable to execute it safely. Not comment about their body composition. All I would have heard if I was that student was "You can't do this move because you're fat".
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I really don't think that's bad…sometimes your anatomy affects things you can do and I personally would rather have an honest explanation than not. I was an athlete in college and got critiqued all the time, I had enough self esteem that it never got to me in the slightest. I also don't think this woman would be in a class if she was hypersensitive, thickness can be super sexy.
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I have taken dance classes for 21 years and I am hypersensitive, it is in my nature. However, I would not let that comment keep me from going back to the studio. If I was thick… I would be realistic with myself about it. I would however want more specific feedback on how I could get into the move or have less of a hard time with it. Telling me my anatomy is thick doesn't help me execute the move, prepare or grow into it. That's just me though… I know there are folks out there that are tough as nails and can take any comment and roll with it. : )
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I tend to agree that being a sub she did not have relationship yet. There are some people who go to a pole class/studio feeling uncertain and if this is the case, it would make someone feel badly about themselves and maybe discouraged to continue. I have been poling for few years and am not confident with the dance part of it, especially the super-sexy style. A year ago I went to a studio fairly close to me where the super-sexy style was major focus. I figured I could participate but skip that part. The instructor would not give up on trying to "force" me into it in front of the class, I let her talk me into putting on shoes she had at the studio (it was my fault for letting her talk me in to it). After me saying again, that is not me, she said "oh you're just about the tricks" and walked away. Needless to say, I never went back. She is a nice gal, just not good interaction, for me anyway.
I have found two studios that are encouraging and accepting of where I am at my level and style. Pole can be intimidating anyway without adding to it by an instructor. And because I feel comfortable at these studios, I am willing to try adding dance/transitions.
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Hmm… unless this was followed with "Here, try it this way and it might work better!" I would say the critique was not necessary or helpful. Telling a person that they have a particular body type is not particularly helpful unless you gave them some ideas about how to use that body type to their advantage, or how to work around it.
Also, saying "You're having a hard time with this because…" and ending in something that one cannot necessarily change, it's rather disheartening. For many people, it's indicating that you are unable to do something you want to do because of something you simply are. Thus, something about you is "wrong" somehow, or not to your advantage. I know that this is often how I interpret these kinds of comments… it's taken me a long time to actually realize this pattern in my own head.
Being in a dance class, taking pole dancing, is not necessarily something that only people with "thick skin" do. Those of us with a huge, scary self-critic take dance classes, too. Sometimes we even take those classes to try to get that ogre off our back… if only for an hour or so. Sometimes, it's because we feel so down about our bodies and ourselves that we see dancing as a way out of it. Particularly pole dancing, which is currently being marketed as a way for women to feel empowered and sexy… something we all want in our lives.
I've got big thighs. You know what? I don't mind. I know that my body keeps most of my fatty goodness in the middle areas. But I certainly don't want people pointing it out… and especially in the context of "You can't do something."
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im sorry, but I dont even see it as criticism at all.. it seems like she was just stating a fact. Every body is diferent, some anatomy traits make some moves easier and others hell. I have a tough time with many moves because of my anatomy and so what? learn and adapt! having a instructor always sugar coating everything in order not to hurt the students feelings and self esteem is not helpful at all… in my opinion…
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Thanks for these responses. I recently studied for and passed my ACE certification exam and there is a chapter on teaching styles and intrinsic/extrinsic motivation and maintaining adherence. Pointing out something like that is a definitely not professional, helpful or motivating.
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i would never say that to a student. it's the teacher's responsibility to give people modifications that will allow them to do a similar trick or work a similar muscle group. the student, i'm sure, could CLEARLY see that she wasn't getting the trick. that didin't need to be said. regardless of whether or not it was fact, it was inappropriate. it's not about whether or not the student is sensitive– its the teacher's role to empower, period.
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Hmm.. maybe it's not as bad as it sounds. But it does sound like she couldve had a better approach – maybe more like "youve been blessed with juicy thighs- try it this way and give her a modification or another way to pull it off"
at my studio, we all are thick- so usually its the slim girls that do things slightly different because they don't have as much "pole meat" lol as we say. I generally say " i'm not working with the same "equipment' so if you find a safe alternative to pull this move off let me know so I can share it with other ladies in your position. "
hope this helps
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I don't think it's constructive at all, if she didn't give her a way to get around the difficulties she was having. All of us have our own challenges due to our bodies–women with thinner thighs have a harder time gripping skinnier poles. It doesn't mean they can't do it, just that they're going to have to adjust their positioning and the tightness of their grip to stick the way they need to.
I also have to agree with amy that it wasn't appropriate, regardless of whether or not the student was sensitive. The thing is, she didn't know whether the student was sensitive or not, because, like you mentioned, she hadn't established any kind of previous rapport with her. So that student very well may have heard 'you're fat, that's why you're having problems with this move.' I don't know how advanced the student is, but I imagine that would be pretty damn discouraging for just about anyone if they were just starting out, and even for someone a little farther along.
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Aside from being a new sub in class…which incidently may have affected how you felt about her approach…I don't see anything wrong with explaining how someone's build is interfering with her moves and she did not say she was "fat". That was how it was interpreted.
How would you feel if someone said you don't have enough back flexibility to do this move? Would that have been insulting?
You didn't say what the move was or did I miss it? What if there IS no other way to correct her problems with the move due to her build? It may not have been possible to give alternative instructions?
I just don't see saying your thighs are a bit thicker on the side as being that hurtful – if it's the truth and there is no alternative then the girl needs to know why she can't do the move.
We are not empowering people by being vague or avoiding discussing our bodies simply because they aren't perfect. Sometimes purposefully ignoring one's body shape can make things more awkward.
When I have a large girl in class who cannot lift into a spin I give her directions on how to do a grounded version of the spin…do you think no one realizes why someone is given an alterntive.
I think this instructors approach used carefully chosen words which tactfully addressed the issue.
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Actually, this girl can do this move and has done it before. She complained that her callouses were hurting her and it made her stop half way through. The sub didn’t know this and was making an assumption.
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what was the move?
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Advanced Apprentice to Superman. She said her callous felt like it was ripping off every time she went to turn. She did the move fine last week. The sub didn’t know this.
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Ah…well that totally changes the story then!
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