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Its Become An Obsession
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This has made me laugh and laugh because everything you ladies say I have heard from my hubby too! Too much time on SV,they are not REAL friends, blah blah blah! You are not alone! You are not alone! Amcut, I live in Toronto, your gonna have to make a stop here too!!
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My husband has gotten irritated a few times by poling. He gets over it quickly though! Poling was actually his idea in the first place. I had mentioned taking a class after seeing a YT video…. then I came home from work the next day to a DIY pole in my garage! I fell in love from there with poling until I got my own real pole to put in my living room (Where it stays!). We are not big TV watchers so it is not a problem that it is out in the open and I usually wait to pole until he is doing something else and its always after the kids go to bed. He is big into Guns, craigslist, and FB.. so he is always on the computer.. if I stay on the pole, he stays on the PC.. so it works for us.. He gets a little irritated with all the events because I am gone all the time – but he is mostly just happy I am happy and has told me he was impressed that I have stuck with it this long and all of my personal accomplishments and feats that I have overcome!
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My husband use to be the same way complaining to me about poling and neglecting him. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_evil.gif I would go pole with my friends for a couple of ours twice a week. Then I added 1 extra night of going to silk classes and the complaints started rolling in. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_evil.gif I work 12 hrs shift at the hospital 2-3 x a week, day shifts but I make sure the kids needs are met. After 16 years of marriage, I figured out my husband. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_farao.gif He is all about getting sex from me. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_safesex.gif So I up the anty and promised him sex 3 times a week in exchange for me going to classes 3 x. This has worked out for us for a year now and he hasn’t said a peep. Now I decided I want to add 1 more silk class to my 2 pole nights and now 2 silk classes. He started complaining again about my 4th class so I up the anty to 4x num-nums nights for him. He quickly agreed and stopped complaining. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_salut.gif Now were both happy campers. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_razz.gif
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Luckily the only problems my bf has with pole is that he thinks im gonna lose my boobs from all the upper body work, and he doesnt like me posting videos online. Hes just not into that whole ‘post your whole life online’ fad with facebook and all. I compromised with only posting vids when I perform, and when I get a new move, and the monthly challenges. He also comes and looks at my clips of new moves https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif he doesnt watch the vids though https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_sad.gif
How to not piss off your wow raiding boyfriend/husband:
If you arent interested in playing the game, take the time to sit with him and watch him raid. Learn the difference between ‘trash’ and ‘bosses’ you can talk to him all you want during trash kills, because its just mindless button clicking. A good way to start is saying ‘can i talk’ during periods of silence over vent or when the mobs on the screen look particularly easy. its better than trying to talk and him going ‘IM TRYING TO CONCENTRATE’ if he happens to be at a boss at the moment. Thats what I do anyway, but I already played eq1 and 2 and a little wow so it was easy for me to distinguish, although sometimes I ask if I can talk anyway cuz people on vent are talking and im not sure if he cares to pay attention. like when a fight is being explained and he already knows how to do it, or when people are just joking around ect ect. yea. bit of an effort if you dont know anything about mmorpgs but at least they cant complain you arent trying to spend more time with them lol. -
I’ll admit that I am also totally addicted to poling! My boyfriend was ok with the idea of me taking classes (in his mind I am dancing in my underwear with a bunch of other girls apparently lol) but when I started showing him videos of the more advanced moves and brought home a video of me doing tricks he was super impressed! Especially since I’ve been losing some weight, feeling better and am feeling happier. He isn’t happy that I talk about poling with other people, but his hang up that "poling is just like stripping" isn’t MY hang up. I want to educate people about the hard work and effort it takes! I’m pretty sure he would not be happy if I performed in public but if I ever get to the point where i’m that good, we’ll discuss it then!!!
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Well hun I think that your boyfriend needs to get over his idea that poling is stripping… because it is not, simply is not. Stripping = taking clothes off sexily in front of a participating observant. Poling can occur during or after stripping, that’s correct, but poling by itself does not equal stripping. It is completely possible to pole and not strip (or be like me and reserve the ‘stripping’ bit for sexy boyfriend time). So, just clarify that to him. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif
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My boyfriend of 9 years is ok with me poling but doesn’t like me to post on FB any thing about poling even though he doesn’t have a FB account but his family is on it . He’s a huge work out freak and says that I can benefit more from going to a gym then poling but I hate the gym and when I pole I have lost weight gotten stronger and love it without it feeling like a work out . So he has no other choice. But u do have to balance your love life and work and spend time with your children . But it makes me happy and I feel the change in me my confidence I’m less insecure so basically all these men have to learn to live with it
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Wow I can't believe all these men!! Sorry ladies! I spent my first four years of being married watching my husband race motocross every weekend during the summer. Now that I pole dance my husband comes to every performance our studio has. He knows he owes me 😉 He doesn't mind though. He likes that I get to workout and it makes me happy. And the more I pole, the more he gets to work on his bikes!
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My hubby doesn't care if I pole one way or the other and does not understand or support the idea of videoing especially floorwork or sensual pole. I respect him and I don't see his view as unreasonable so I keep it tricks only and dance in private. keeps us both happy. We have our shared interests also.
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My husband and I made a deal. My hobbies are pole and yoga, and his hobbies are beer-making, golf, and recently target-shooting. But pole and homebrewing are the big ones. He has to watch my videos, and I have to taste his beers.
He's actually encouraged me to get MORE into pole, take workshops etc, but mostly for the fitness angle of it. Having been friends with Danielle Tillie for a while and she started poling long before me, Husband and I both got really used to it, there wasn't any "this is sleazy" resistance from him when I started doing it. (My mom, on the other hand…) But he's never been particularly interested in it either, and in the beginning it hurt that he wouldn't get excited about my beginner achievements like my first pole sit. To him, only the advanced stuff is exciting to watch, and he is totally bored by floorwork and transitions. So much for ever putting on a sexy dance for him…
I think some men are used to being their lady's "Everything" and once that is threatened, once their lady starts getting her happiness from something else more and him less, that brings up all kinds of insecurities. And yes, some people just can't get over the sexual part of it at all, no matter what you tell them or how many amazing athletic pole dancers you show them.
This is an old thread so I'm wondering, any of you ladies who posted back in 2010, has there been improvement with your fellas' attitudes? Did that Husband-Whooping tour ever happen? : )
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The only time mine gets grumpy is due to being sore, touching the insides of my legs is like setting me on fire at times.
For the first 20 or so days of the pole at home, he complains that he can’t touch me;
My man as I’ve come to understand he is a feeder, he brings home food as treats, if I wouldn’t of banned fast food entirely, I would still be gettting the surprise Big Mac meal @1:00am..
Sometimes it takes going extreme, to make a guy understand. The last Big Mac meal ended up in the toilet and me with almost every blood vessel blown in my face. That was the last time fat @ss nasty fast food has been bought for me and I am 15lbs lighter since January. On the other hand the scales haven’t tipped for him at all.. not my problem.
If he gave me crap about poling, I think I would lose my freaking mind.
I would probably use all of my self loathing and turn it completely on him, pole is the only thing that has given me any hope of being healthy again living with a feeder.
I can’t stand NASCAR, I truest don’t find amusement in during in a circle. I also like things with a bit more speed; like Jet engines.. ✈
What is this guilt trip stuff!! Seriously is working, cleaning, cooking and taking care of children not enough super woman for these guys?
I’d ignore the complaining, too bad you can’t touch me ” put the chocolate bar up your own large booty so it doesn’t go to mine” and we wouldn’t have me working out 4-5 days a week.
I mean really.. They say they ignore us when we are complaining, time to give them a taste of their own medicine.. I’m gonna go buy him a Big Mac meal 😈
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My bf doesn´t care too. I invited him once to my show in pole studio where I dance but he was so angry… he made me a scene right 2 minutes before I went onto stage. The studio makes sensual shows, and courses too and it was all mixed up into one show. He got bad view onto poling right away cause he saw some girls in high heels making more sexy moves. So much about supporting. I didn´t invite him anymore. I rather would invite my work friends as him. Actually I got used to it but it damaged our relationship. As he is a addicted pc games player he spends a lot time there. He doesn´t care a pinch.at beginning I learned some great moves and invited him just to watch me practicing, well went not so good. I gave up. Now I´m preparing for a competition and he wouldn´t care less. This whole situation opened my eyes. As I don´t receive ANY kind of support not even with stretching, he is just too lazy ass to help, I´m considering how I could resolve this. We met us as I was ice skater, that time I spent over 5-6 h daily on ice. He had no problem with this, he came to see us practicing and was supportive. After I got injured, i made 1 year break to recover and got fatter. Couldn´t stand it and started to search for sports I could do. By accident saw photo of Anastasia Shukhtorova on the Pole and felt in love. This is where he totally started to don´t care about . I do my things, he does his . We have own separate ways. Sad but I wont give up anything and I am happy I found pole dancing. It fills my heart after my deppresive time about giving up competitive ice skating 🙁 Luck I can do what I want without getting angry on each other. I can post vids, photos on fb , he doesn´t care. Actually I was shocked after I asked him to lean me some $ for my new Pole and he gave me. well this is my story 🙂
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Its sad to see some of you girls are so unsupported by the people are supposed to really care about you!
My fiance is fantastic, He listens to all my going ons about how amazing pole is, what Im learning, this comp that comp! He looks after the kids so I can have some stretching/workout time or go to the studio and loves watching videos of my practices. He actually gets disappointed when I dont video my sessions!
I think you girls are extra amazing putting up with those men! Still having the get up and go for it when your partner is so uninterested and un encouraging is something you should be proud of! I dont think I could do it, Id have to cut them loose!
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I read a few of these posts not all so I am making a sweeping statement. It sounds like these are not men but boys, little boys throwing a tantrum.
When little boys throw tantrums , apparently good parenting is to ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good. Ignore them, stop pandering to their tantrums and they should get bored and shut the hell up! If not get rid…. Lol!!
Insecure babies!!!!
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Hihi Shona I love your post 🙂 Getting rid is hard. I just hope that someday Ill have/meet the man who will accept me as I am, and tolerate what I do, and praises me hihih.OK. Praising me is too much. He should accept that cause of my Sport and 2 Jobs I dont have much time. Or maybe I am not suitable for relationship ?
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