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Making Goals
Hey Everyone!
So, I'm always TRYING to set goals, but I've come to the realization that I'm quite poor at it. Mostly because I don't understand time.
Let me explain: If, for example, I want to work out and dance for an hour (my average amount of time for a good workout and dance), I usually allot about 3 hours to doing so. Mostly… because I don't really know what "an hour" looks like. I'll tell myself "Okay, I can get this done before dinner!" about four hours before dinner actually happens. What I do with the rest of that time is… procrastinate, worry, and then at the end, settle down and feel accomplished for a while. It's really quite frustrating.
Also, I don't really know what a reasonable about of time is for a goal. Would a reasonable amount of time for me to get my splits from where I am be a month? Six months? A full year? Two? I don't know! I've never done it, and I don't know what my body would do if I actually managed to stretch every day. Which… I don't. I never have done it every day. I'd like to though…
The SMART system seems to make sense in a way, but I think it's the "attainable" part that I don't understand. What is "attainable" in a year? How will I know that something is "attainable," rather than me just overshooting… again?
I'm very bad for being over-ambitious. I'll tell myself "There, I've made a plan, and now I can stick to it!" and it never happens. It bothers me a lot. There's a lot of time in a day that I waste, that I could be putting toward attaining my goals and having fun with my hobbies. I never know what to do when something unexpected happens, like suddenly having friends over, or getting called in to work, or having an essay pop up out of nowhere for school.
I'd like help on this! How do you guys make goals that you think are things you can get to? How do you know what to do with your time? What do you do when unexpected things happen that throws off your "schedule" or… even when you get into a rut and don't feel like doing anything toward your goals at all?
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15 Replies
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Hey Runemist34, I know where you come from. In my head, everything goes so much faster adn I can achieve so much. But in reality things take so much longer, it's almost unbearably slow.
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I can actually relate quite well to you. I'm a big procrastinator, and it takes a lot of energy for me to work up the motivation to actually get a workout in. I think that sometimes people like us tend to over think things, which drains us, stresses us, ultimately leading us to feel exhausted without reason, and no energy to put things in action. So what i've tried doing lately is to not think before i pole. Just start warming up and figure it out as i go.
I'm not good at setting goals and acting on them either. This is the reason why i suggested the january challenge, in hopes that this will "force" me to actually do it. Now i'm stressed because, since i suggested it, how can i not participate?! LOL!
But here's how i've decided to look at goal setting for things that i can't measure their specific attainability level or time frame: There is NO time frame by which i have to have attained a specific goal. I know this sounds contrary to what we normally say: "be specific in your goals in a specific time frame". But for situations like these, I believe that following that rule will make it less likely for me to even attempt it. So instead, my goal will be in terms of HOW OFTEN I work on it, or deciding to work on it in every practice from now until December, and let the outcome be whatever it is. No pressure to what i must have achieved by then. You only have to be specific in terms of HOW you will work on it, or WHAT you will do to go about it. NOT THE OUTCOME. The goal is just to have a general improvement.
So, instead of saying i want to have achieved a split by March, I'll say I'll work on my flexibility by doing specific split exercises 5 times a week untill March, and then see where i am. So, my goal is not "achieve splits by March", my goal is "work on splits exercises consistently, and in March take a look at my progress". I find this approach way more easy to process and live up to.
As to your question about what happens when something unexpected comes along & throws you out of your "routine", just let it be! There's no point in goal setting if it will stress you out that much or make you so obsessive that you can't allow for an ocassional "break". Key word being: Ocassional. If you're honest with yourself, you'll know when you're just making excuses to procrastinate or get out of it. In this case (which i do quite often), I try to reschedule what i had planned, or find some way to just squeeze it in.
Easier said than done, i know, but many times it's the start that's the hardest!
If you want, I say we both pick a goal and make a decision to just work on it whenever we have a pole session (even if it's just for a portion of the session), and not worry about what the end result shouldl be. I'm sure we'll be happy with the result, as either way, it'll surely be a progress from where we are now! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_heart1.gif
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Azriel, I really like your outlook on this one! You sound like me 😉
I like the idea of simply saying that I'll "check my progress" at a certain time, rather than trying to progress to a certain point. It actually puts a lot more emphasis on what's going on in the moment of it happening, rather than the thing you're doing it to get! I've been so… forward-oriented for a lot of my life, I find I don't enjoy a lot of things because I don't give them a chance. I don't seem to want to settle in and practice to get better… because I'm not focusing on the practice at all!
So… I'm gonna try that 🙂
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Try this:
Try to figure out how much more time you usually need than you thought. Twice as much? More?
Then go ahead and add even a little bit more.
For example, I think, I would need 1 hour for something, but in the end, it turned out that it took me 3 hours. So for a goal I will give myself 4th the time I thought I would need by the first time I considered the goal.
Then, go ahead and split the time and the goal in many little pieces so you have daily, weekly or monthly
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goals.
(hate my phone…)
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I think you are over thinking things. I use to do this and when that happens you end up doing nothing because you've spent all your energy on over thinking! lol 3 hours to workout is a LOT!!!! My average workout session is 1 hour. Sometimes I really get into dancing and end up doing 2 or sometimes I'm short on time and just do 20 mins.
Have you thought about using the 30 take off program….everything is done for you, from the warm up you need to the stretches at the end. I even explain why we are doing what we do that day so you can take that info and apply it later. I also tell you what to do on rest days!
It's a perfect guideline for someone who doesn't know where to start!
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I gotta say, I'm on day 9 of the thirty day take off and I love it! It does all the thinking for me. I'm in rebuild mode due to injury and it's the stuff for the troops! My main goal this year is to pick up where I left off last year and not re-injure myself! Oh, and keep working on the "sexy" (of course)!https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
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I am seriously contemplating starting the 30 day tonight. I really NEED someone to push me.
Is there a thread started for those that are doing the 30 day yet?
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I don't know if there's a thread for the Take Off, but I started it on New Year's Eve, so I'm on day 4. So far I love it! I do it in addition to 2x week vinyasa yoga classes. It's challenging without being discouraging.
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Please feel free to start one! I would suggest having the subject be 30 day take off, so its easy to find or search. I'm so please you're enjoying it!
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Lol, Veena, I'm not actually working out for 3 hours! That really is a LONG time! Generally 1 hour is what I get, but I spend the rest of the time either fretting or procrastinating, and relaxing and sitting afterwards.
I think you guys are right in that I'm overthinking things- I tend to do that when time is involved. I don't know what it is, but I simply cannot determine how long things take! I always feel like I have to spend a WHOLE DAY doing homework, or that if I have an 8 hour shift at work, I totally have no more time to do anything else (and then end up spending the rest of the day playing video games or staring at the TV or whatever). Both of these are totally incorrect!
I've really been thinking about starting your 30 day program! I don't have a foam roller, but I suppose I could spend that time working on some other things, such as my physio for my knees and shoulders 😉 I didn't realize that you explained the whys of things as well! That's really, REALLY helpful for me!
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You don’t need a foam roller, it’s just an option I have for you. 🙂
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Runemist- just wanted to reply again to let you know that i'm actually relieved after reading your posts on this thread. I thought it was just me that felt like this, that i was "weird", and really didn't even know how to put it into words! After reading your second post, I realized that i am the same way when it comes to work.. the whole thing about if you work 8 hours, it means no time/energy for absolutely anything else. It's the same thing for everything else.. doctor's appointments, errands, even planning to go shopping seems like it eats up my whole day. I had never even thought of the possiblity that these issues were related to the time spent just preparing to start a pole warmup (or procrastination), but yeah, all these things are related, and it makes so much more sense to me now!
So, another goal for me this year is to stop with the over thinking, procrastination, and thinking that my whole day is spent/wasted just because i had one appointment or errand!
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Azriel, I'm happy that my post helped!
I'm actually doing an experiment today- see how many things I can get done in 8 hours (while my boyfriend is at work) and write down how long they take! I'm going to try to do lots- cleaning the house, quickly go over to the store to pick up some groceries, pole jam with KrissyKiki on Skype… see if I can fit in some prelimiary homework… All that stuff! I know how long work takes, so that's not really something I need to worry about 😉
But, since I tend to remember things really well when I write them down, I thought maybe I would re-teach myself about how time works, and how much I can actually get done in a day! It even leaves some time in the "evening" to hang out and relax. 🙂
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I'm glad I stumbled on to this post, I also have issues with things eating up my day and setting fitness and weight loss goals. i have thyroid and estrogen problems that make the weight loss timing difficult. I can't say I'll even lose 4 pounds a month and have it reliably happen. It is very discouraging with really restricted diets. The discussion here gives me some ideas on what to do and an idea for another: Veena's 30 day thing. I'm going to go look into that right now. 🙂
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