New shy girl on the block

Babz started this discussion · 9/5/2011

Hey everyone. My name is Nea Nea! I was recommended this site by another pole dancer. I'm 21, 5'7" and 177lbs (🙁). I've been wanting about getting into pole dancing since I've heard a lot of great benefits come from it. I'm an introvert trying to break out of my shell. I've been awkward about my body for over 8 years now and I have low confidence/self esteem in myself and especially sexually. I've also had my life be controlled by fear but NO MORE! So I'm here and I want to better myself. I'm currently looking into buying a pole but being unemployed and on a low budget I can't seem to find a good quality pole or really know where to start with this. I tend to beat myself up with new things when its difficult to learn. And especially when I can't physically do it. Anyways, hii!

17 replies

Cocoa0 · 9/5/2011
So let me say that I am 5'6 and 166lbs. I have been poling for almost 2 years now. I have never been able to list even 3 things that I am happy/proud of when it comes to my body. That is until I discovered pole dancing. In my first class I did I fireman spin and it was one of the proudest moments of my life. Pole can absolutely give you more confidence (not just for the sexy bits) Your confidence will come from your newfound strength and grace. Pole constantly amazes me in it's ability to challenge and validate your abilities. As for a cheap(ish) pole Lil Mynx is a good option. But I would first take a few classes (if you can) to see if you even like it. I was hooked from day one so spending 500$ on a pole seemed like a steal.
Babz · 9/5/2011
Thank you for your reply! I have a poor self image of myself and thought I was fat even when I was 135lbs! (Bad childhood upbringing) so now that I'm a bit heavier its hard for me to think that I have a good body. I want to lose 20lbs (30 max). I have an hour glass body shape; big hips and DD boobies. So I don't doubt once I get into it I'll start toning up and having the body I've always wanted. I'll look into classes for sure. My boyfriend is all for it but only if its for him and only him. :P And I have to continue working out and give him a full strip tease and lap dance before we consider buying a pole. lol!
Dancing Paws · 9/5/2011
You've come to the right place. These girls are awesome and supportive. Poling should help get you back to where you want to be. I agree with Cocoa, a lilmynx is a good price and quality, if you are willing to screw a hole into your ceiling. I think they are great poles. Classes are great, but if you are on a budget, I suggest, getting a pole, Veena's lessons, and netflix to do stuff like yoga, pilates, etc at home (that's what I did.) I have been struggling with weight too. I was unemployed for almost a year, and had moved away from all that I knew. Combine that with being on medication notorious for slowing metabolism, and I gained 10 pounds (although I am toned weirdly enough.) Now I am stuck with having to shed the weight while trying to not be totally disgusted with myself (which it totally hard.) Love the tatoo btw!
Babz · 9/5/2011
Thank you. :) I am willing to screw it into my ceiling. I'd be more worried if it wasn't! I actually lost 30lbs since last winter so there's that but I still need another 30lbs gone. I got some coosh left. :P Also I have several fears that I want to get rid; heights, being upside down, and falling. All of which can/will happen while dancing. I'm doomed LOL I also have really weak wrists, my left wrist had surgery and can barely lift 5lbs by itself without struggling. Since I'm an artist and my future career will be tattooing I can't afford to hurt them at all but hopefully I won't screw up too many times where they become injured. And thank you! I would post a recent full body picture but I haven't taken any in a few months.
Veena · 9/5/2011
Hi and welcome to the site!!! One of the best things a new dancer can do is start with moves that build strength. 🌸
Dancing Paws · 9/5/2011
Veena has some great wrist exercises. If you practice them, and building your hand strength up and forearms, you should be fine. The grip strength will naturally come with poling. Newbies tend to death grip in the beginning. The FIRST thing I learned when I started poling, was to fall. My instructor had me go to the side of my pole, grab it in a basic grip, lift my heels off the ground, and slide down onto my butt. She didn't tell me what I was doing before hand. When I was done, she said "now you have fallen so you shouldn't be afraid of it anymore." As for heights, the lilmynx poles aren't very high, and all the moves you'll be doing as a beginner won't be high, so you shouldn't have to worry about that. When you do get to climbing, your confidence should be higher by then. Upside down, again, that is more in the intermediate area, so when that time comes, you will be more confident in your capabilities. Also, you will have invested ina crash mat by then right? :D http://www.amazon.com/Yoga-Direct-Dance-Crash-5-Feet/dp/B0046A27E2/ref=wl_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&coliid=I23HNTTV3AJH26&colid=1HNQJAB4VD50O you would start out doing any inverted moves low to the ground too, so you wouldn't have far to fall, and with the crash mat I have attached, it is super cushy, so any fall shouldn't hurt.
JeHanne · 9/5/2011
Welcome SpookyInk! I can relate to the body image issues and living with many fears. Talk about things that do not serve our best interests! You have come to the right place!!! Consider investing in Veena's lessons when funds allow, she has so many awesome strength, pole and flexibility lessons. I have seen great improvements in my strength and flexibility by using her lessons consistently. As a new Pole lover you want to definitely focus on strength training, you will impress yourself in no time with how much you improve your strength. I was super wimpy the first time I tried a strength move.... many of us are. Let that feed your motivation to focus and improve. It can easily take years to grow into many pole abilities. That is one of the things I love about it... kicks my tail endlessly. I love a challenge!!! This is a wonderful place full of very supportive Pole lovers. Looking forward to hearing how things go in your journey.
Babz · 9/5/2011
Thank you both for your replies! I can already feel my confidence raise from this. I want to have a pole in my bedroom but it has a slanted ceiling that goes from 9-14'. Is there any way I can attach a pole this way or would I have to make a custom block to attach on the ceiling? I'm sure my boyfriend will figure something out since he loves creating gadets like that. lol
JeHanne · 9/5/2011
Vaulted ceilings... I'm jealous! ; ) I think most of major pole manufacturers sell mounts for vaulted ceilings. X Pole sells mounts for vaulted and non vaulted ceilings (thats the pole I have). Lil Mynx has vaulted mounts too. I would love a red or pink powder coated pole just for the novelty of it. Everyone has their own experience with poles so there are many different opinions out there on which pole to buy. It's great that there is variety in the market to allow us to pick what works for us the best. When its time post a topic on suggestions to secure your pole, people will reply! This forum is great. Pole has helped my confidence... how can you not feel like a badass when you climb up to your ceiling in 7 inch heels?!? LOL!
tarah · 9/6/2011
welcome!! 🌸 pole dancing is great for self-esteem, i can't recommend it (and the lessons here) enough! as for your fears, just take it slow, and get a crash mat (if you can't afford to buy one, you can use a foam mattress topper). i have a vaulted ceiling, and a platinum stages extreme super pole (one piece, 10 feet). however, i can't recommend platinum stages because of all the problems people here have had with the customer service. nor can i recommend multi-piece x poles. lil mynx might be your best bet. :D
Veena · 9/6/2011
I have the vaulted ceiling mount for my x pole and love it. Makes it easy to put up and take down. 🥂
nymphdancer · 9/6/2011
I have a multi-piece x pole with the vaulted adapter in chrome and love it. also have a lil minx stainless steel single piece with vaulted ceiling adapter and dislike it intensly. Very slippery for my dry skin but there are those that perfer the stainless steel, but for me it is a nightmare!
Dancing Paws · 9/6/2011
If you get on the phone with lilmynx, they'll get you all hooked up with what you need in the way of mounts, ceiling height, finish, pole diameter, etc. It is all on the website, but if you get confused, it always helps to talk to the customer service reps. Keep your eye on that crash mat I sent you. The price fluctuates. It comes in 2 colors, and the blue one is always cheaper, but when their stock gets low (like it is now) they lower the price. All the crash mats on the market that are around$200-300 are only 2 inches thick. The ones that are 4 inches thick are so much more expensive, so when I saw this one, and saw that it was 5 inches thick and oly $200 I jumped on the deal! Totally worth the price, especially since it would cost just as much to make one myself, since the foam itself is pretty expensive.
ORGANIC ANGEL · 9/6/2011
Welcome! All of the things you speak of(or write of) will be worked out in time with poling. Take your time. The art of pole takes time for your body to adapt to. You'll get fit and your confidence will be boosted with all of the moves you will learn each week. If money is too much for you to spend all at one time, look into local pole studios that offer unlimited for one price. That way you can get direction too. Veena's classes are great too.
Babz · 9/6/2011
Thank you all! Everyone is so nice here. :) I'll certainly look into everything said about the poles and crash mats. If everything goes right I just might very well get these items for X-mas! Right now the lessons itself is a bit much since I can barely afford food at the moment. :S But thank you again! <3
tarah · 9/7/2011
@sensualscimitar - they have that mat on amazon now for $199! i wanted to get it but they won't ship to hawaii :(. will have to stick with my giant mattress topper, lol.
Dancing Paws · 9/7/2011
The mat is by yoga direct and has a tag on it that has yogadirect.com. It is $249 on their website. Maybe you can contact them and see if they ship to Hawaii.