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PISSED OFF!
So… I’m not one to talk about personal problems… But right now I am so PISSED OFF.
Let’s just chalk it up to family issues, but I hate feeling like I have to “play nice” with someone that I hate. And I mean hate. As in, I don’t want to be around this person, and I was forced to sit at a family dinner with her.
Why should I have to be polite and civil to someone I obviously can’t stand??? I hate feeling like a hypocrite (because I havent spoken to this family member in months) and like I have to be nice to her because she is “making an effort to be part of the family”. (she has been a complete ass to everyone in our family for months.)
I just can’t talk about this to anyone and I’m just pissed.
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13 Replies
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So… I’m not one to talk about personal problems… But right now I am so PISSED OFF.
Let’s just chalk it up to family issues, but I hate feeling like I have to “play nice” with someone that I hate. And I mean hate. As in, I don’t want to be around this person, and I was forced to sit at a family dinner with her.
Why should I have to be polite and civil to someone I obviously can’t stand??? I hate feeling like a hypocrite (because I havent spoken to this family member in months) and like I have to be nice to her because she is “making an effort to be part of the family”. (she has been a complete ass to everyone in our family for months.)
I just can’t talk about this to anyone and I’m just pissed.
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So… I’m not one to talk about personal problems… But right now I am so PISSED OFF.
Let’s just chalk it up to family issues, but I hate feeling like I have to “play nice” with someone that I hate. And I mean hate. As in, I don’t want to be around this person, and I was forced to sit at a family dinner with her.
Why should I have to be polite and civil to someone I obviously can’t stand??? I hate feeling like a hypocrite (because I havent spoken to this family member in months) and like I have to be nice to her because she is “making an effort to be part of the family”. (she has been a complete ass to everyone in our family for months.)
I just can’t talk about this to anyone and I’m just pissed.
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So… I’m not one to talk about personal problems… But right now I am so PISSED OFF.
Let’s just chalk it up to family issues, but I hate feeling like I have to “play nice” with someone that I hate. And I mean hate. As in, I don’t want to be around this person, and I was forced to sit at a family dinner with her.
Why should I have to be polite and civil to someone I obviously can’t stand??? I hate feeling like a hypocrite (because I havent spoken to this family member in months) and like I have to be nice to her because she is “making an effort to be part of the family”. (she has been a complete ass to everyone in our family for months.)
I just can’t talk about this to anyone and I’m just pissed.
-
So… I’m not one to talk about personal problems… But right now I am so PISSED OFF.
Let’s just chalk it up to family issues, but I hate feeling like I have to “play nice” with someone that I hate. And I mean hate. As in, I don’t want to be around this person, and I was forced to sit at a family dinner with her.
Why should I have to be polite and civil to someone I obviously can’t stand??? I hate feeling like a hypocrite (because I havent spoken to this family member in months) and like I have to be nice to her because she is “making an effort to be part of the family”. (she has been a complete ass to everyone in our family for months.)
I just can’t talk about this to anyone and I’m just pissed.
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I feel you…I have similar issue with a family member. I think I'm in much worse situation…but I'm coping.
It's hard to just-let-it-go…but you don't want to be the person that ruin-the-family's-harmony…or whatever that's supposed to mean.
Just give take some time off that person…let it cool down. Take a week or 2 off from that person…no contact, no communication. When you're cool down, try to see if you can at least be a friendly acquaintance.
~hugs~
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typo **I meant "Just give it some time and stay away from that person…for awhile"
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I feel ya'…I really do. There are several people at my workplace that I absolutely can't stand, but of course in the working world sometimes you have to set personal feelings aside to maintain your professionalism. They way I handle it at work is that I just don't speak to the people I don't like unless I absolutely can't avoid it as part of my job; when I do have to speak to them, I keep it short and to the point, don't chit chat, joke etc., I just deal with whatever I have to (without being blatantly rude of course,) and then go on with my day. If you don't want to cause waves in your family I would handle your situation in a similar way. However, if you think the way she's acted doesn't even deserve that, then I say just stay away from her whether other family members like it or not. I don't know what she's done, but I as well as my mom and my sister do not speak to my dad's side of the family anymore after a giant family feud that came about because they basically treated us (particularly my mom and sister) like absolute crap. I said my piece to them and then cut them out of my life for good; I don't need that kind of crap in my life–it's too short to waste it on jerks.
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Thanks mechie!
I wish I had the option to stay away..
Unfortunately she is the mother of my nephew, and she just started working with me about 2 months ago.
Got into a fight tonight because they say I should be able to suck it up and be nice for a night… Screw that! I didn’t want to go in the first place and I didn’t know she would be there until we arrived.
I’d be much happier keeping her out of my life permantly. It’s just not an option…
Everyone tells me to get over it and ignore her, but I feel like she screwed our family over multiple times, why should she get to sit and have dinner
With us like nothing happened and nothing is wrong.Maybe I’m wrong for not being able to forgive her… But why should how I feel be less important???
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Thanks mechie!
I wish I had the option to stay away..
Unfortunately she is the mother of my nephew, and she just started working with me about 2 months ago.
Got into a fight tonight because they say I should be able to suck it up and be nice for a night… Screw that! I didn’t want to go in the first place and I didn’t know she would be there until we arrived.
I’d be much happier keeping her out of my life permantly. It’s just not an option…
Everyone tells me to get over it and ignore her, but I feel like she screwed our family over multiple times, why should she get to sit and have dinner
With us like nothing happened and nothing is wrong.Maybe I’m wrong for not being able to forgive her… But why should how I feel be less important???
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Don't let anyone let you feel like crap for not forgiving her for whatever she did. I know we're supposed to forgive and forget, yadda yadda yadda, but after a while constantly forgiving someone who continuously screws you over is just stupid. Your feelings should matter too.
Does the rest of your family feel the way you do and they're just not very confrontational, or do they think you're overreacting or something?
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After some reflection I realize I’m angry about the way she treated our family in general, and resentful that I was “tricked/coerced” into having to have a meal together.
Most of the family is very upset with the situation… I guess I just feel betrayed and I’m not good at forgiving people. Especially when I don’t think they deserve it!
I feel like I am “enabling” her to creep back into our lives, and I’m sure she
will end up screwing people over, again. (and this has happened 3G already!) -
And sorry about the repeating postings.. I’m on my phone and didnt notice til now! Weird!?
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I think you should speak your mind (to her) and let the chips fall where they may.
Don’t let this “lady dog” screw with your head. Family or not biting your tongue will just end up in a bigger confrontation down the road.
As for the multiple posts I feel ya. I do almost everything From my iPhone… Press the button once and wait! (I’ve sent like 7 of the same posts… I’m impatient) -
I'm going to be bold and say the exact opposite of everyone else: forgiveness is the most important thing you can do. If you don't forgive her, you're the one that will loose out (not on any relationship with her, but the bitterness and resentment that will chip away at your soul). The thing is: you might not be able to forgive her at the moment and that's fine.
Your feelings are important, they are like a compass allowing your gage your reaction to an event. If you are unhappy about something that she did, you need to pinpoint exactly what that is. Once that's done, when you are calm enough to deal with it, I suggest that you meet with her and discuss your feelings and perception of the events. Most of the time things are a big misunderstanding or maybe she acted meanly (or whatever) because she felt threatened, etc. The critical thing is that you can only meet to discuss what has happened once you are calm enough to talk about things in a mature manner: resorting to yelling and arguing is not going to be helpful. You need to be patient and hear her out to. If this is not possible (e.g., she's too immature to discuss things) then I think you have every right to say to her that because she has made you feel this way, you are going to limit the time that you interact which means that you will not be attending any family gatherings where she is present (or whatever you want to do).
Hopefully be discussing it, you'll be able to forgive her at least. It's not about forgive and forget. It's about forgiving because we all screw and moving forwards in a beneficial way. That will hopefully include the forget bit and starting out fresh… but that's not always possible.
And this might take a lot of time to accomplish… forgiveness is hard work, but ultimately it's worth it. I would even go as far to say that forgivenss is necessary, but reconciliation may not be possible.
It might also be helpful to talk to your family members about your feelings and how you felt betrayed and conned into going there when you're not ready to deal with her.
Sorry if this sounds all preachy. In the end it's just my opinion, but this is an issue that is quite close to my heart.
xxx
Will be praying for you! (Unless you write back that you don't want me to!)
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PS. None of us deserve forgivness. We've all hurt one another. That's why I feel we should work at forgiving each other.
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