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Pole Dancing…And Depression.
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And ditto what K bang just said in her post about meds. I could have written the same thing nearly word for word.
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Casi, as I have said- twice before this- I don’t think that taking medication is a bad thing. I don’t think it’s shameful, and I don’t think that it’s a “bad option” or somehow that people should feel like they should avoid it if it’s the only thing that has helped them.
If I have sounded accusatory or shaming, then that was not in any way my intent, and will never be.
I suppose I am simply trying to offer an alternate route to health and well-being. -
If you are struggling with depression, here is a really excellent web comic that you may be able to relate to/might make you feel less crazy/like other people get it/are going through it/you’re not alone http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html its kind of spot on and even if you’re not struggling with depression, it is a good read/look into what living with depression can be like
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seriously cannot endorse that web comic strongly enough….GO TO IT.
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Runemist, depression is a physical illness, period. Would you tell someone with diabetes to try to adjust their insulin levels with positive thinking? Unless you are a doctor I would not give such dangerous advice. We can no more adjust our serotonin levels through adjusting our thinking than we can our insulin levels or blood clotting profile. Leave the advice to the medical professionals. All discouraging someone from taking medication does is prevent them from using one of the tools in the mental health toolbox for healing. Medication brings us up to the same level as everyone else to enable us to benefit from DBT or CBT. It is so sad that these backwards ways of thinking still exist and keep the stigma alive. Every medication has side effects, but when you work with a licensed doctor they are qualified to find the right match. Let’s leave the medical advice to the doctors. Lives are at stake.
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Also, Casi, for your information, there is no cure for depression. Medication is usually a lifelong necessity, just like blood pressure pills. Again, medical advice is best left to the professionals. I speak from personal experience. I almost died after going off medication because depression is a forever disease. AND I practiceDbt, CBT, utilize the 12 steps, meditate, practice mindfulness and have acupuncture twice weekly. Without medication none of that works. It’s been 20 years and I’ve buried 2 family members who believed what you are saying.
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Shadow22, I’ve had depression most of my life, even when I was as young as 7. I had to start taking medication in my teens. I have been off and on medication many times. I’ve learned you have to do whatever works for you at the time and be flexible to change if something else may work better. there were times where I was OK not taking medication and quickly I would learn I needed to get back on medication. I keep fighting the fact that I need medication! I just do and I have to accept that about myself. For me, it is literally a life or death choice. Depression sucks because it has NOTHING to do with your life situation usually. Everything in life could be going great and you can still have this feeling of nothingness and lack of joy hanging over you. the worst for me is not when I feel sad from depression, cause I dont usually feel sad from it. I just feel nothing. complete lack of emotion. I feel emptiness and I dont feel human. and yes, people will make excuses for you. my mother is the worst at this. they tell me I’m tired, stressed or whatever. I’m not. there is usually no explanation for my feelings. My feelings and thoughts do not stem outside forces. it is my brain. the chemicals in my brain will not allow me to feel happiness and for me, medication is the only thing to fix that. People will makes excuses for you for the rest of your life because they mean well. unless they have depression themselves they will never understand and you just have to forgive them for that. Being kind to yourself has to have concrete meaning to you. I think when you have depression you have to be kind to yourself by taking care of yourself. having open communication with your doctor, take meds if you need them, if you feel yourself getting worse or not getting better reach out to your doctor. that’s how you can be kind to yourself. make it your mission to make yourself healthy because it is not only good for you but with any kind of mental illness we have an extra responsibility to not let things get out of hand. it sucks to have that responsibility but its true. our illnesses can have devastating effects on ourselves and in turn effect those who love us if we dont take care of ourselves. And sometimes you will find that you may not be able to openly communicate with those closest to you about depression because they dont believe it, accept it, or understand it. your job is to find someone who does understand even if that means going to a group meeting for depression. you have extra responsibilites on you because you have depression. just realize that now and you can empower yourself for the rest of your life to deal with it. depression is an inconveinence that has to be taken care of much like diabetes. it requires regular monitoring and checking in with a professional healthcare person. you sound like you are doing the right things to handle this. if you are on meds, just take them exactly the way you should take them. and if you feel this isnt the right medication for you, or you are having too many unwanted side effects. tell your doctor. there are sooooo many options out there and you dont have to be stuck taking something that isnt working for you.
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Catsanctuary177663, I’m feeling that communication has broken down, and I can no longer participate in this topic in good conscience with regards to my health.
I respectfully disagree with you, but cannot move further this discussion. -
Everyone please do your best to get your helpful points across without belitting someone else’s post. This does not mean you must agree, but please be kind to one another.
As for depression, I really feel there is more than one type, and it’s up to you and your health care provider to figrue out if it’s a chemical issue or situational issue. Not medicating a chemical issue can be deadly, while medicating situational depression can also end up with a bad out come. I do think it’s very important to know which type of depression you are dealing with before choosing or not choosing meds!
Shadow, if the meds are working and the dr wants you to take them please follow thier suggestions and take it, contact them if it’s not working for you so they can help you. If you feel maybe it’s situational depression (some times life sucks and it’s HARD) talk with your dr just to be clear that meds are right for you. If you have a good dr they wont just throw medication at you, they will explain why you need it.
You are not alone with having depression and most of us here are FAR from “normal”…..anyway who wants to be boring and normal?? But really, I understand the desire to want to “feel” like you “think” normal should be, if that makes any sense lol! Pole can be great therapy for many things including depression. Please take care of yourself and know you have people here to support you. xoxox
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I am in tears! I didn’t think that my post would bring so much… Support! You’re all such kind people and I knew that turning to a world full of “strangers” would make me feel like I’m not alone out there…
As for medication, I am on a mild anti-depressant prescribed by the doctor to help with feeling low and physically weak all the time. The only side affect I suffer from it is that it makes my mouth very dry! I’m constantly thirsty!
I’ve only been on them for a few days but he said it will take at least 3-4 weeks before they start to take any effect. So I’m due to see him then to see if they have made any slight difference.
As for all the rest…I’ll keep turning to everyone on here, because you’ve all given me some strength and hope that I can sail through this. I understand that there is no “cure” for depression, it’s something that we live with and have to deal with in whatever way we see best. I just need to find my way first…
I’ll keep you all posted, and thank you again for your kind and supportive words.
Much love
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I’m glad to hear you’ve found our support comforting, Shadow. You are most definitely not alone. Most likely, you’re not alone in your community either, other people are likely dealing with the same problems, even if they don’t talk about it.
Research does suggest that our thoughts and everyday activities can change our brain structure and chemistry, just as, for example, some people can learn to bring their blood pressure under conscious control. There is also evidence that certain experiences, particularly early in life, can have a long-lasting impact on the chemistry and structure of the brain. But none of this information is a substitute for care by medical and/or mental health professionals.
Depression as an illness and its treatment can vary a lot from person to person. There are people who, with the help of qualified mental health professionals, are able to treat and/or learn to cope with their depression without medication. There are other people who are prescribed medication because their doctor thinks that medication is in their best interest at that time. Some people are fortunate enough to have a single bout of relatively short-lived depression in their life. For others, myself included, depression seem to be a chronic illness that must be managed through a variety of strategies. Still other people fall somewhere in between.
I think the best advice we can give someone is to work closely with their doctor and/or other mental health professionals, and follow the advice of these professional. If they don’t feel they can work with a particular doctor or other professional, then they should continue to see that professional while they find someone they feel they can work with. Beyond that, I think we can reasonably share what as helped us, so that others may be able to discuss these strategies with the provider of their mental health care and possibly try them along with the treatment advised by professionals.
From the thread above, clearly many of us find exercise to be a valuable tool in managing depressive symptoms, and there is research that supports the general effectiveness of exercise in improving mood. Other strategies that help me, personally, include:
– Getting plenty of natural light. Exercising outside is great for this, opening blinds can also help. When I lived further north and days were short during the winter, I found a bright light (prescribed by my doctor) and full spectrum light bulbs helped.
– Getting enough rest. Depression both makes me tired and causes insomnia, but I’ve also found not allowing myself to get enough rest tends to make my symptoms worse, so I make a real effort to consistently get sufficient sleep.
– Making sure I don’t eat too much sugar. Some is fine, but I don’t need to be living on Skittles. I tend to crave sugar when I’m depressed, but I’ve also noticed eating a lot of sugar (and other junk more generally) over a period of days or weeks seems to make my mood worse. Generally, the healthier my diet, the better my mood tends to be.
– Making sure I take at least some time for me every day. This might be just sitting quietly, chilling with my cats, or listening to music, but it can also be dancing or doing some other exercise. For me what is important is that it be something I enjoy, that I do on my own.
– Helping others can sometimes also help me to feel better about myself. Volunteering with some sort of organization can be good, but something less structured also works.
– Keeping in close, preferably face-to-face contact with supportive others. This isn’t always easy, especially when I’m depressed, but it does tend to help.
These are some of the things that help me, personally, in addition to the treatment recommended by my doctor. Other people may or may not find them useful.
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Wow, what a lot of great advice and support! I have struggled with depression since my teens, and I am 34 now. I am one of those people that does require medication for chemical balance, but before it could really help me, I had to do a lot of work in therapy…I needed to learn how to think in healthier ways and how to structure my life.
Exercise is really important for me, and so is awareness of times when my depression may be worse due to stress, poor eating habits, etc. I have to be very holistic in my approach to managing my depression.
Please know that it does and can get better, so if you feel like you are in an inexplicable black hole, know that there are a lot of ways to climb out. Look forward to the day when you can tell your own victory story and share your experiences with someone else. All of the people who shared in this thread had something valuable to stay, but ultimately the right solution is going to be what is right and what is safe for you. We are here, and we care about you!
You are not a freak; you are a lovely young woman who is struggling right now. It’s going to get better. *hugs*
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I am very glad someone posted about this because I had a feeling pole was not just a physical workout but could provide mental benefits. Personally, at points in my life where I have had quite a bit of anxiety, I found pole to be very useful. I think it is perhaps because my mind has to focus simply on not falling on my face. 🙂
Aerial Amy posted this interview with Tarakarina where she talks about pole and how it helped her with GAD.
I am also very glad all of you are writing about this because so many people can feel alone with whatever problem they have, while other people are experiencing the same thing. Shadow22, the words you used to express your experiences sound so much like the students who have come into my office and told me about their depression. They can have the same sense of looking outwardly at their life and thinking it looks great, but knowing things feel off inside. There is a book called Speaking of Sadness that is about people’s experiences with depression in general…and it may help those who are depressed see how they are experiencing some of the same things as others.
I am more familiar with the research on some other mental disorders rather than depression, so I don’t want to wade into too much. However, as some posters pointed out, there is a lot we don’t know about disorders. I will also say that there can be interactions between our biology and our environment. Shadow22 you may also find it interesting to read the latest research on depression. I don’t know if you have access to those type of articles, but if you search journal databases and find something you want and can’t get, let me know and I will see if my library has access. One place to search for such articles is http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed If you are interested in complementary therapies, you might want to check out this site. Just search for depression. https://nccih.nih.gov/ -
Hello!
You are most certainly not alone in this struggle, but finding your own balance and inner peace will most likely be entirely unique to you. I don’t feel right telling you what depression is or isn’t, but I can offer a little insight into what it has been for me personally.
I am 30 years old. I have had issues all my life with instability (mentally, physically, emotionally) and when I was the age that you are now it became almost unbearable. I will spare you the specific details but, once again, please do not feel that you are entirely alone or that you should “suck it up, buttercup”.
Many people are completely ignorant of what you’re going through. They get a case of “the blues” when something doesn’t go well for them (break-up, financial stress, school, work, somebody messed up their latte’ at Starbucks) and then they bounce back into full function in a fairly short amount of time. Depression, however, is all-encompassing. It has no trigger, it is a part of you, it usually has cycles that you can recognize over time but never feel fully in control of. This is why some who suffer from it try to balance out with medication, distraction, isolation, etc.
I cannot tell you what will work to help lift you out of the depths of your despair, but I can tell you what has helped me. Firstly, I am unresponsive to medication. I’ve tried a full catalog of antidepressants/antipsychotics/mood stabilizers/sedatives and the like. The side effects for me were terrible and nothing seemed to improve my functionality. I felt dead while I was on them, no drive to carry out even the most basic task, and I’m pretty sure that if anyone were to drop dead in front of me while I was on that junk I would’ve been unable to feel either way about it. This is not to say meds haven’t helped other people, I’m just saying that for some it is not the best option to deal with their depression. Talk therapy helped me, but it is extremely costly and without a compassionate/patient/trust-worthy/professional counselor it is no longer an option for me. I have learned to self-soothe through a book that someone mentioned earlier (The Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Workbook) and I have also found sanctuary through dance.
The overwhelming feelings of dread and, at times, total disillusion of my life and societal role still hit very hard sometimes. I am not entirely where I feel I need to be and, worse yet, I don’t even understand WHERE that even is or how I’m supposed to get there. Sometimes I wish I could just think and feel the way other people seem to. How they remain unaffected and everything rolls right off their backs instead of crushing them. How speaking to others in a way that isn’t awkward, unnatural, boring, or distressing comes so easily. How perception is not an issue for them, or…at least it seems not to be. I often have to fight these thoughts because they only weigh me down further. I am not wired the same as “other people” and sometimes it flat-out sucks to have to reprogram manually for my own sake.
Seriously, that’s what it’s like some days. Metaphorically, I’m driving stick with barely a clue as to how it works, no one to instruct me, but full knowledge that I need to somehow make it work to get where I need to be. People with automatics fly past me effortlessly. Some say “What’s your problem?”, some shout obscenities at me, and once in awhile a kind soul will stop to try and help me. It’s unfortunate that no one knows how to drive this thing, you can only find out as you go. It does work, but finding out WHAT makes it work is constant trial and error. I will say, there are great minds that have done great things throughout history who drove stick and that somewhat fuels me to keep going. I don’t need to be destined for greatness, though, I really would rather be able to enjoy my journey. So I focus on my surroundings and the people who choose to ride with me instead of pass me by. I attempt to appreciate my own vehicle and continue to try each day to figure it out a little better. Sometimes I almost fly instead of drive…like an alien in a spaceship. lol
Sorry for all the metaphors, this is another way I make sense of my struggle. The formal diagnosis jibber-jabber is from a perspective outside of my situation, so I often redefine it in a way that makes sense to me. It’s your struggle, you can own it and make it work for you. This is your life, no one else’s, and you have every right to pull over, refuel, stop at rest areas, ask for directions, enjoy the scenery whenever you need to. Keep going, though, it’s a wild ride and it will surprise you how awesome the road less traveled may lead you.
I hope this helps. I may have trailed from my original narrative of this post, but I want very much to be uplifting about this. It is difficult to deal with depression and all the names associated with it. I suppose I’ll end it on this quote that has stuck with me since childhood:
“Of course it’s hard. If it wasn’t then everybody would do it. The ‘hard’ is what makes it great.”
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Hey Shadow!
I hope you see that you have a lot of support! So many great suggestions!
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety many years ago. I chose not to take meds, but that was my personal decision because I saw close relatives on meds have that zombie-like experience. I have been seeing a LMHC (licensed mental health counselor) on & off for years. When things are hard I may see her once a week. When I’m doing well I may not see her for months.
I’m also a writer. I have found that between cognitive/talk therapy and journaling (the old fashion way – pen to paper)I have found peace. Long ago I thought I could be “cured” but I know now this is not the case so I’ve had to learn to live with myself & make peace with my condition.
My advice is to see a professional if you can. Finding someone you click with is important. Also you should be able to find someone who will see you at a discount if you don’t have insurance.
Try journaling. Even if you can just write for 10 min a day at first. I know it really helped me sort out & accept my feelings.
Most importantly do what is BEST for YOU. Don’t listen to what anyone else has to say (including me!) if it doesn’t work for you. You are the only one that has to deal with yourself 24/7. This may take some trial & error, but you are worth it. If something works for you (meds, exercise etc) great! If something doesn’t work for you (writing, meditating) drop it & move on. Life is too short.
Continue to reach out here if you need to. Sounds like there are many of us who understand 🙂
I hope you find your strength and your peace.
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