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Pole moms? Finding time to pole?
This is my first thread–yay! I'm a bit frustrated and this is me reaching out to find some pole sanity, haha.
I have been wondering about how others fit in their workouts on their pole. After thinking about my day, I notice how much time I would rather spend on my pole that is spent feeling utterly torn and frustrated. With all the usual family craziness and running around, it seems I don't have nearly as much time to pole as I would like. I'm currently living in Germany and there are not any local classes that I am able to attend–I'm not so sure that I would even have time to go if I DID find one. My graditude for StudioVeena.com is unmeasurable since it probably saved me from crippling myself, and I always look forward to when I am able to try out new stuff. Having a pole at home has been such a blessing but it is also a constant longing from the bottom of my soul to just get lost in what has helped me to feel real inside. It's that itch that I can never seem to scratch quite enough.
It happens all too often… I am just warmed up just I am interrupted, or (even worse) get a case of the sweatys–calling all climbs and holds to a screetching halt, literally! I try to fit in a workout during my son's (almost now existent) naptime or after my oldest is done with homework then off to bed. This is the time of day where I feel so rundown, that I don't feel I am giving my pole the time that it deserves–I think most importantly, all that I deserve. Now don't get me wrong, I have had many awesome workouts that leave me on a high for a few days after.
As I am typing this, I keep stopping to regather my thoughts from my insanely intelligent two-year-old's cuteness. Is it normal to feel so torn between my family and my pole? How do you find time to balance being a mom and poling? I had no idea that I would ever feel so passionate about anything that would cause me to want runaway and change my name, just for a week, to be alone with my pole. I am completely kidding… Please share your experience on this 🙂 I'd also love to hear from anyone else who has managed to balance poling and a busy life–not just moms.
Thanks everyone!!
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12 Replies
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I understand you so well on that. I have 2 boys 4 and 7. And when they are home and awake it's just impossible for me to pole. My pole is is the family room so the only time i get is when they're in bed. But it's hard to still have energy after a day of working, taking care of the kids and house. Personnaly i just take a little break when i put them in bed and after i try to pole. Some night are good other are not. I'm really lucky that one in a while a have a day off and my youngest is not home so i can train during the day.
Don't feel guilty because you want to spend more time with your pole. As a mom we usually forget that we're also woman. And we need to take time for ourself, it help us be a better more happy personhttps://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
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I cant tell you how much I can relate to that. I have 2 kids (2 and 6), and they basically run my life. My oldest has cheer 2 practices a week plus a game on Saturdays. Then we have Girl Scouts once a week. I get them both right after work – mostly b/c I have no choice, one gets out of school and the other ones daycare contract states I have to get him by 4p. On top of that my husband works a job where just b/c the office closes at 430p doesnt mean he gets off work at that time. There are some nights its almost 10p before he gets home. Plus I dont like having him watch me work out – its SUPER CREEPY! Plus I like to yell at my Wii from time to time when I work out.
What makes matters worse for me is my pole isnt at home – its in my moms laundry room. We dont have the room for it so it stays over there. So its not like I can put my kids to bed and start poling, theres an extra 20min involved before I even get to see a pole. I do attempt to go take a class once a week but judging by my schedule some weeks, its nearly impossible. Plus I have to start training for a competition in February, and I cant even find time for that.
What ive tried to do is when my husband isnt home and when the kids are in bed is workout with the Wii. I have EA Sports Active 2 for the Wii, I like it for the most part but there are some exercises my body just cant handle. Im also afraid of doing jumps at home b/c of my fear of knocking everything off the walls. I also try and stretch alot of as well. If I dont have to bring my son to my daughters cheer practice, I will try and do some training (push ups, crunches, running etc) since im there for 90min. Im working on maximizing my time for working out.
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Hi JelliCrew,https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheers.gif I am constantly torn between making time for my pole family and my home family (all boys 2 5 8 10)…..it can get overwhelming at times when you feel you have to be ALL to EVERYONE! I do feel it's important for women to have their me time, and pole is a great me time!!
Before pole dance was my "real job" I would have limited time on the pole, about 45 mins to an hour. Some weeks I would pole 4 times or more, other weeks not at all. I completely understand your frustration!! I love my kids and my pole family, but I love my pole dance too!! I have learned to just be flexibile and go with the flow, instead of being upset about the days I missed a practice because of kids, work or just having to take care of things at home.
Here is what get's me through a practice.. I always do it in the morning, if I wait it never gets done, I'm just too tired at the end of the day! I turn the TV on for the kids, or get them started with colors, play-doh or some thing of that nature. But they know its my time to exercise. We have set rules that when I'm on the pole they cannot play on it too. Its hardest for my 2 yr old and he is always wandering up into the room. This is why I have very few uncut videos posted LOL.
If your too sweaty to pole try working on floorwork, transitions ect, these are just as important as pole moves and spins. I'm not sure if my post was much help but I wish you luck in finding your important me time!!!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_heart1.gif
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@Veena, that's adorable.
I think it s all about balance. Don't ever feel less than everything you already are. I pole b/c it makes me so happy. I have one lil girl and one on the way. I just stopped poling two weeks ago. ( and glad I did when I did b/c I did 20 mn of pilates yesterday and it nearly set me into preterm labor- 2 min contractions all night-had to go to the hospital) I actually became really down the past two weeks b/c for me, the pole is almost like my boyfriend! I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed my pole. I like the benefits so much for pole, that it keeps me motivated to do it. If something makes you that happy, than you should continue. Happy mom, happy babies. Happy wife, happy life:) Good luck on finding your balance and remember that no two ways are alike or correct for everyone. Adjust it to your needs, and yours alone, so you don't get the short end of the stick. Some weeks during this preg. I could only do a day of pole b/c I was a student 6 days a week too, on top of being a mommy, wife and all, when I was used to 5 days of poling. I would miss it and get depressed for a moment, and hten would tell myself, that I just have to do that sometimes if I was going to succceed in the hard classes I was in(medical field). Anyway, I hope you can work something out for you, and don't be so hard on yourself!
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I know the problem all too well. I joke that i've been poling for over 4 years but only have a year of pole time in. I really don't like to pole during the day either, I'm a creature of the night when it comes to pole but I'm working on changing that now that I'm awake during the day. I worked 3 shift for several years. My poles are in my living room so makes it hard to blast some of my music sometimes. Mine are now almost 7 and 9 and girls so it is a bit easier but I generally don't pole with them around they are too distracting.
Unlike minicooper girl I like working out with my hubby around. We do Jillian together in the mornings as soon as we get up. He helps me with new moves (he helped me get the remi the other day) he usually doesn't watch my other workouts (just added stretching and a burlesque style dance routine) but it wouldn't bother me if he did. Last night I poled to 4 songs with him there, although I will say he was playing on the computer instead of watching me 🙁 he is my biggest supporter and fan and since i don't have a studio here he is my sounding board. He is helping me with my studies to finish my pole certification so I can teach.
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Whew! I hate over-using the word "normal" but I just can't find anything else to fit right now. So, thank you ladies for helping me to feel normal!! Balance is an organic thing itself, since it is always changing and evolving just when I get comfortable. Taking care of ME is something I have not been so naturally good at, but it just sort of started happening around the time I turned 30. Another part of taking care of myself is getting outside of my head and just actually asking if I am going nuts, or if this is just the normal crazies. Wheww…
@minicoopergrl I feel like a whiney brat since I am complaining about not getting down to my basement, haha. I can not imagine not having my pole at home since I am always so grateful for how accessible it is, even though I am not always able to use it when I want. I have all the possibility of releasing the vixen at my fingertips that it seems almost like it is dangling in my face without being able to grasp it. So frustraaating . But, it could be worse–so thank you for reminding me of that!! It is also still a bit awkward with my husband around when I workout. Not sure why, bc I thought he would have been more interested but I think I like it better that it is just MY thing.
@Veena I am really glad you saw this and commented bc I only imagined you having your (FOUR!!) boys around, with a sort of Mary Poppins magic, while you made dinner from your pole. I just could not wrap my mind around what it would be like to balance that sort of thing with all that you do here! So, thank you for harnessing my overactive imagination b/c I was really wondering where I could buy the magic on wholesale. Ok, so seriously… It had not even occurred to me that I should workout in the morning! That is what I did when I went to the Y so I am not sure why this should be any different. My pole is in the playroom though… do you feel comfortable getting into your workout with your boys around–booty shakes and all? Maybe I should just get over it and not let it bother me if my son sees me shake my rump… or is that just totally inappropriate…? I am still really not sure. Any tips on that department, too (kids with the pole dance stigma)? I almost feel violated when someone comes in during my workout–like they were not part of my fanasty world or something. Again, I am exaggerating but I am not sure how else to explain it. And, thank you for your tips about being sweaty!! I also had not thought about switching gears and turning it into something else. Most days, I just have that tunnel vision with a mission in mind. I draw a blank when the sweatiness hits and it usually seems like game over.
@roamy it sounds like you are in a big transition! Good luck with your new baby on the way!! I saw Veena's dance with her baby belly and it is sooo precious. I only wish I had discovered this outlet years ago when my oldest was small.
@nymphdancer I can just imagine being that poler for x-years with much less time accumulated actually on the pole. I am guessing it will balance out for me once I am able to get used to the idea that my pole will still be waiting for me when I get back–ready for me to warm it up!
Thanks so much ladies for your feedback… It's only been since May that I got my new best friend so I am still trying to figure out where everything is supposed to fit.
Oh and @tiggertail, I actually read your post first real quick earlier in the day and it was just the relief that got me through lunch, since I was pretty bummed to know it was not going to be a pole day, again.
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I'm glad I stumbled across this post. I'm in the same position and like nymphdancer, I've been poling for 5 years but feel as if I only have 1 year in actual pole time. Between a full-time job, being a mommy to two young ones (ages 5 and 7), and my husband, I hardly find spare time to breathe much less pole. I have my pole setup in my living room so it's easily accessible but I never get on it! If I try to and my kids are still up, they want to get on the pole too; plus I can't practice the sensual side if they're around https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_eek.gif. LOL! Then after they go to bed and the household chores are done, I'm just too tired. I still haven't found that perfect balance but am glad to know I am not the only one!
I am making a commitment to start practicing every Sunday morning, though. I'm moving my pole to our unused studio/storage in the back of our house and converting that to my "pole room". Hopefully that works and that I can get my little ones to honor the fact that when Mommy is in there, it is my time to exercise and not their time to play on the pole!
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@ JelliCrew. I don't do any booty or sensual dancing when the kids are around the room. The only time I can let go and get out of "mommy mode" is if my husband takes the kids with him to the gym daycare. Or if they all go out fishing. If its just the younger kids at home I'll do floorwork and such, but they are downstairs watching TV with the doors closed. Honestly though, I don't think any of my moves are vulgar so I don't get embarrassed if they happen to see me. Its not like I'm grabbing my crotch or grinding on the pole! LOL They've never even watched me dance to a whole song, only tricks are fun for them. Pole is just another exercise I do like going to the gym or hooping.
My kids hang out with me in my office when I work on editing lessons and videos…they've been in the room while I was working my sensual "red" video and they don't even notice, or care about what's on the screen. It's normal to them and so they don't pay attention. At some point my kids will realize that exotic dancers use poles in clubs too and it doesn't concern me at all. When I started pole dancing I was worried about things like that but not any more. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_flower.gif
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A lot of great things said here already! I just wanted to say I'm in the same boat with you! Kids–3,6,8 and I really like to feel "alone" when I pole or I just can't really focus. This past summer was SO difficult and my pole practices suffered. Normally I practice at night when they are in bed, but I was so worn out. 🙁 Now that they are in school I have been able to schedule in an hour a few times a week to pole with my youngest at home. What has helped is: 1) Making notes for my practice–I'll jot down what I specifically want to work on…even what songs I want to use. 2) Keeping the set time to practice no matter how messy things are, etc. I can't get it ALL done, but I won't let it get in my way. 3) If I can't focus and clear my head enough to dance, I REALLY love committing to Veena's pole strength routine–its 20-25min in length and by the end you are warm for a bit of stretching or more pole. The kids can be in the room when I do the strength routine cause I have something to focus on (Veena) 🙂 Hope this helps!!!
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I can relate to so many of you and have a ot of frustration lately in this area.
My problem is that my husband is not supportive of me poling at all. He doesnt want the kids to see my pole- ever. Nomatter how I try to explain or encourage him to watch some videos of pole fitness. He cannot let go of the stripper stigma and think it is completely inappropriate for me to do anywhere near my kids. He cant even stand to see the pole sticking out form under the bed.
To complicate matters- I homeschool my children 8.10, & 16. and run a business. They do go to a private school for homeschoolers twice a wek, but I have to go to my business when they are there.
It seems like someone is always here. I am not "allowed" to keep my pole up so that makes it even more difficult to have to put it up and down. If I lock my door- everyone needs somethingand wants toknow what Im doing and he doesnt even want them to se it.
I LOVE poling and this is making me sad. I dont see what is wrong w telling / explaining to the kids that there is a right and wrong way to do a lot of things. Not even right and wrong but just the simple fact that people have choices in whatthey would like to do. THere is a different way of doing all kinds of things.
So even though I have apole at home, work from home the majority of the time and I am here at home w my kids. I cant ever seem to be able to get on the pole. I have joined a studio so I can go elsewhere to pole. But then , getting the time and everything inorder to go there is complicated. Its about 35 min away, then Im at an hour class and the drive back. It is also an issue.
After allis said and done Im lucky if I get on the pole twice a week when I think of it w longing al the time!
I am surprised my husband has no interest in seeing me pole or do a new trick. I am not alone here,I know. One of my instructors husbnads has never in 3 years seen her dance either or ask about it and she teaches!
I wish there was an easy solution, but it only lies in education. Some people refuse to expand their knowledge base.
I shall be poling in my dreams until things change!
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I did workout today WITH my son!! Whoohoo!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheers.gifIt was also at 8:30 am, with my still sleepy arms but it felt great.
@FuzzyNavel I like your idea of planning out my workouts. I had created a chart for the strength training and other moves that I know so that I know what I have been doing and where I am going. It just sounds so much more purposeful the way you explain it and I like the sound of that! I also thought about the strength routine and hope to one day have it memorized enough so I can workout to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, haha.
@islandgirl001, I am excited for you and the idea of your pole studio! I am already decorating my future studio, or yours, in my head right now. What a wonderful thing to give to yourself!! I am also really glad I asked because these different points of view have given me a different outlook that I couldn't find before. I imagine one day having my pole in the living room when we move back to the US, right in front of my bay window giving off an awesome silhouette to the street. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
@Veena, I was excited about the idea of working out in the morning that I had trouble sleeping! I was not able to dance to a real song today (it was actually to the Imagination Movers) but it was a start. Strength training in heels was my mixture today, and I even got some spins and bodywave work in. For my first morning workout, coexisting with my son, I'd say it was pretty stellar! I am actually amazed at how much easier it was that I was not trying to force a slotted time in my day, expecting to shut out the world. He came over to play a couple of times, or tried to hand me blocks, but I shut it down saying "not now. This is momma's exercise time." I let him play a little with the pole when I was finished and I could hear the victory song as I came upstairs. I like the idea of how your poling is just a part of your everyday life. There is a time for certain workouts to have in my alone time, but there is nothing wrong with me working on other things during the times I am not completely alone. I have two only children so my son is just starting to play better alone. I will have to get creative about having him play elsewhere, and not feel guilty about letting him play alone somewhere with me just peeping in.
I think this may be beside the point of what my true question was, or maybe it explains a lot about why I have trouble finding time… But, the truth is that I think the more I try to "hide" what I enjoy doing (for the fear that someone will put me in the position to defend it) the more it awkward it will continue to be. When I moved my pole into the playroom, it helped me to feel like I wasn't such a closet poler, haha. I have explained to my 10 year-old daughter that it is just a method that I use to exercise. I also told her why other people view this sort of thing differently and how hard it is to get that out of their minds. Some people don't care, others think it is cool and want to try it out, while others do not want me to ever talk about it–they even hate the idea that I street pole. My daughter thinks it is fun and likes when I do new things, but she doesn't see it as being very mom-like. I told her "thank you," since I was sick of being in (what I call) my mom box. I showed her how to walk around the pole, turn, half spin, and back hook. She LOVES it! My husband, on the other hand, was a little concerned about what others would think if she said "oh my mommy has a pole and she lets me play on it." Again, I have only had it for about 4 months but it really has caused me to think about what role I want it to play in my life–not just as a mom. I send my mom and grandma new pics of some poses and they are so proud! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cool.gif It really is a gray area since I know how I thought of it when my friend told me she started. I told her she needed to find a new hobby if she did not want people to relate it to strippers. Now here I am, trying to figure out how I can find more time to workout on MY pole. I am so grateful to all the strippers who created such an exotic, creative, and powerful art form. I now think of my pole as a symbol of my inner empowerment.
It seems have come to the old conclusion of there being a time and place for everything, just like everything else. My son is 2 so he doesn't notice if I am shaking my buns. With my daughter, I am taking more of the whole art form and total body workout approach–bc that is exactly what it is. She is confused by my heels and I told her that her mom is harcore and bad-to-the-bone. As she just laughs, I keep my fingerscrossed she isn't sneaking to try them on, lest we end up with a trip to the ER for a twisted ankle. Now that would be a funny story… Similar to when I had my pole for about 2 weeks, went to the Dr because I had blinding pain and thought I had a gallstone. He asked me where I got the massive rainbow colored bruise on my hip. After many tests and ultrasounds were done, we discovered I had really pulled a muscle in my "sirloin" (as he called it) from holding my breath when I pulled up on the pole. Cute. Very cute.
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@PaulettePoles, my heart really does go out to you since I just read your post and really want to give you a hug! I really do need to start being grateful for what I do have, but I don't think it would be possible if I didn't know about the stuggles others have with poling, as well. I admire your courage to continue poling despite all that you have standing against you. It's one thing for me to be annoyed that my husband is not more interested in what I am learning to do on the pole, but another if he were to be in total disagreement. In Germany, people are not really so surprised by pole fitness as much as I am sure to receive flack for it when I get back home to SC. I decided recently to deactivate my facebook account since I RSVP'd to an event that involved lapdancing. Oh did I ever receive so much crap for that! I did not ask facebook to post that I was attending since I RSVP'd privately, but it was posted and kept telling people on their home page that I was going, in case they wanted to come too I guess. Someone asked my husband about it at work. This is actually someone who is also on an international assignment is coincidentally is from our hometown–which makes it even better! Well, he actually said "Do you know what you wife is putting up on facebook?" After the guy got to the point of what he really wanted to know, he asked if I was REALLY doing pole fitness. My husband simply said, "yes. That is her new hobby." And the guy said "good for you," but I am sure he was condemning me to hell in his mind since this is that kind of guy. So I am still stuck in between with how much I feel comfortable with the kind of feedback I will get from EVERYONE knowing that I pole. I also feel like I should be true to who I am, but I just don't know where the balance is. Do I post my street poling pics on facebook, or do I just keep them for me…? Do I make it so that NO one can see my friends list so that they can't see my other poling friends' profile images on their pole… so they won't even wonder what I am doing in my spare time…? Or, do I just consider myself super awesome to have found something that I love and hope that others can find something they love just as much–regardless of what sort of idea they have about pole dancing… Even if I decide I want to teach in the public school system after I get my art teaching degree. Tough call that I can't make just yet.
Hugs, girl!! I encourage you to keep poling!
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