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Poor Body Image
Hi ladies, I am wondering if any of you struggle with poor body image? I’m brand spanking new to poling and I was so inspired to see so many amazing women on Instagram at all skill levels just rocking the world with their confident selves. I was so excited to join in the fun, that even though I’m new, I got some pictures of me doing very basic things with my pole. I felt like a total badass when I posed but when I saw the results, I was devastated. I’m only 4’7†and weigh about 118 pounds so I’m VERY short and fairly round. I’ve never looked like a “normal†woman because I’m so short. I think every woman is stunning and beautiful but when it comes to myself, I’m crippled by self consciousness. I could just pole for myself and my husband (who thinks I’m a rockstar) but I would love to have the courage to join all the amazing women online. I created an IG account specifically for my poling adventures (treesyspins) but I haven’t the courage to post anything. My question is, do any of you struggle with poor self image and if so, how do you manage it?
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23 Replies
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I totally struggle with poor body image, and understand the frustrating feeling of being irrationally crippled by self consciousness. It held me back from sharing anything on Instagram for a long time; I finally caved last month and found that just sharing boosted my confidence a lot. I’ve heard sooo much advice on this topic, and most of it is of the “learn to love yourself” variety, which I’ve personally never found very helpful. (I wish it were that easy!)
What initially helped me was learning how to make my body look slightly better *to myself*. I’m also shorter than average, and proportionally my legs are SUPER short–so I’m obsessive about pointing my toes, because it really does make your legs look longer! Heels realllly help too! And while I’m not overall round, I have a weirdly big butt that I’ve been terrified for anyone to see for years (have avoided the beach my whole life). So I spent a long time trying on different bottoms and learning what styles flatter my weird body the best. When I take the time and effort to dress in something I know works for me, it gives me courage. It also helps that I haven’t shared my pole account with anyone I know personally, except my parents (haha) and a couple very close friends.
Another tip is to start by wearing leggings and/or skirts/dresses (there’s a lot you can do without taking off your clothes), and you’ll likely feel comfortable showing more skin as you gain confidence sharing.
Good luck!!! I’m going to follow you on Instagram and I hope I can watch you find your courage! =) -
@allisonerin thank you for your kindness and realistic suggestions! I’ll start with leggings and skirts and I really like your idea of only sharing with people I DONT know first. That actually makes me feel better. I’ll lock my account to start. I’m not sure if that dryers people from requesting to follow but at least I’ll have you! Thanks a lot!
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If you’re crafty there are super easy sewing patterns for dance skirts. You can really personalize your pole outfits with those. I think Simplicity has one and so does Jalie.
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These are great ideas and replies! I think most of us have struggled with body issues (I sure have) and I agree that finding clothing that you feel makes you look nice is so helpful. It can be as simple as finding the right pole shorts or leggings (not every style looks good on everyone!)
Remember that the people who react to you in a negative way on social media are UNHAPPY. If you’re a person who is satisfied with who you are and where you are in life you don’t feel the need to try and hurt someones feelings, I feel sorry for haters. What others say about you says FAR more about them!
Last thing…most of what you see on IG is the BEST that person can do or has done. It’s far from reality for the most part.
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Freest,
Oh-My-Lanta do I. Ever since I moved into my new home I haven’t pulled in 3 years consistently and I have gained so much weight. I remember when I was about 124 lbs and now I’m a 181 lbs. I don’t look like I weigh that much but I do. And everytime I look in the mirror I get a little sad but then I know that if I just eat right and exercise more that the wait will eventually come off. So every morning I look in the mirror and I tell myself five things that I love about myself that does not include my weight or my appearance. When you don’t focus on your appearance you realize that you’re a wonderful human being. Don’t get me wrong some days are a battle but on the days that are tough I just take it one day at a time.
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Treesy sorry I wrote my response on my phone and it autocorrect it.
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Hey, I know where you’re coming from! Also a short person myself. Veena is right, most instagram pics of other polers we see are the best shots, sometimes I take 10 to 20 pics to find just the right one to post, can’t imagine how much time those people take! I’ve actually started using instagram as a motivation to improve my poling skills, after I take pics of myself practicing, I’ll see my flaws and know where to improve, I use it as a motivation to pole more, but I also try not to be so hard on myself, as Veena constantly says, everyone’s journey is different, do not compare yourself with others. Besides pointing your toes and wearing heels, I find the these tips effective in giving you a better proportion: wear dark color polewear especially black, wear high waist pole shorts as they’ll make your thighs look longer, wear dark leg warmers or knee length socks, stand on tip toe. Hope this helps!
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I have and probably always will have issues with the way my belly looks like. After having 2 children the skin is all flabby and strech-marked and I guess this won’t change (the younger “baby” turned 4 yrs last week…). And my breasts which were never big now are saggy and flat in a non padded top.
I can’t imagine to post pictures with a bare belly, most times I don’t even like to have it uncovered when working out home alone. I am very happy I have found some lovely leotards so I can do hip holds and still keep my mid covered!
Though I know you should not compare yourself with others it’s pretty hard sometimes. But it helps a lot to know you are not alone and that perfect image that social media promotes usually isn’t the whole reality!
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yeah, 4’11 and 181lbs.
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Kiki yes thank you for the support! I would like to follow you too. What is your IG name?
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Oh my gosh… this post totally speaks to me! Treesy – I’m quite short and it has only been recently with watching what I eat and exercising regularly that I’ve been able to cut my weight down. I have a large derriere and thick thighs and sometimes I fret that I look “stumpy.” To make matters worse, I’m not very flexible so I don’t have very nice lines.
I agree with AllisonErin that it’s really hard to just let go of your insecurities and love your body. It does happen, and I found pole has made me love some of the things I’ve really hated about my body, however, it’s not something I can force and it takes a long time to get to that place. I used to refuse to wear shorts because in addition to a thicker bottom half I have cellulite, stretch marks, and really bad spider veins all over my legs. I’ve made peace with my “stumpy” legs because I’ve found being short and having thick legs has made certain things easier for me in pole. Just a few things I can think of off of the top of my head: laybacks and leg hangs are more secure, and due to my short stature I don’t struggle all that much with shoulder mount. Plus, it’s more comfortable for me to pole in a smaller space.
Everyone’s suggestions are awesome! Def. second the pole clothes shopping as that makes a huge difference. Here’s some additional things that have helped me:
– Get some fun lights in the room you’re poling in. I find fun lights are better than blinding fluorescent lights that highlight all of my flaws!
– Work on flexibility – the more flexible I get the better my lines.
– As painful as it is watch and keep all of your freestyles/pole vids. When I first started I was disheartened that I didn’t look as sexy and graceful as my instructor – and I still don’t, but I’m gradually looking better. I just watched a couple of videos of myself walking around the pole and posing from back when I started in April and it was cringe-worthy!
Veena is right about the haters and IG. I have a phone filled with HUNDREDS of pics and vids. In fact, for Veena’s IG challenge I have filled up my phone twice in 3 days just trying to get a halfway decent vid!
I just sent a request to follow you! 🙂 I’m: x_ceej_x
Whew…sorry that was so long!
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StrangeFox, thank you for your suggestions and especially for pointing out the benefits of being small when it comes to poling. I hadn’t considered that! Also, I love your creative posts and I’m so glad you share on IG! You look awesome and are super creative!
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I really do envy the shorter girls, you can be so powerful!!! The grass is always greener lol
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Thank you for your kind words Treesy! I love that bar you made! It was a big deal for me just to set up my x-poles and install my mirrors so I really admire that you can build something like that!
LOL! Veena – I’m always so envious of taller girls and their long legs! You tall ladies always look so graceful and flexy. There are benefits both ways but you’re right – we always want what we don’t have! 🙂
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Great points, StrangeFox! I’m going to try to think of the advantages from now on every time I get sad that me and my legs are so short!
An amazing thing is I also used to refuse to wear shorts because of cellulite, spider veins, and stretch marks. They haven’t gone away, but I’ve almost forgotten about them–that’s how much my confidence has improved! I guess it also helps that all that stuff usually isn’t visible in the videos I take, ha. Yay for low-quality camera phones!!
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