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Putting pets “to sleep”
Has anyone ever had to do this? Our dog is failing fast but one vet says "well…his heart is good!" The other says we need to make some decisions. He had an expensive surgery last summer called "tie back" to help him breathe and they think that stems from a disease called Neuropathy or Neuropasy or something like that. It usually starts with trouble breathing which is now fixed but then goes to his hind legs which become imobile. He takes a long time to get up sometimes, looks sort of deformed in his back and he has reverted to "messing" the garage even if the door is open and he can get up. It's like he has lost all that we have taught him but he is 14! I just cant make the appt and carry him to the vet to do it. "okay, it's Monday, let's go to get put to sleep!" Ugh, I know Im copping out but I wud rather he go in for a chek up…and I just leave him there. Sorry for the long post. Otherwise, he is happy , tail wagging etc but is losing ability to walk. I cant spend any more money on expensive treatments but i dont want him to suffer either. My daughter is devasted at the thought but none of us can deal with this much longer…
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23 Replies
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My first experience with putting a pet to sleep was my cat of 16 years. I got her after my husband and I tried to get pregnant, went to an infertility specialist, never happened for us. Needless to say, the love had for a child I put into this cat. She had cancer and her body was starting to fail. It was a very hard decision. I will never forget the night before, holding her, knowing it would be our last night together. As hard as it was, I knew it was the best thing for her. Her body was starting to fail and her quality of life was diminishing. As much as I wanted to keep her around as long as I could, I knew that would not be the best thing for her. I do recommend staying with him as he passes. It will bring you peace in the long run knowing you were there for your pet till the very end. It's amazing how our pets can become such a part of our family.
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I've lost a few pets this way, and it never gets easier… but then again, death never does get easier, no matter how or why it's done.
The last one was my baby, my cat Sage, who was put to sleep a year and a half ago in January- during my going through my breakup with my husband at the time. It couldn't have been a worse time to lose him.
But, his hips were in a lot of pain, and he had arthritis all over. He could barely move, he was extremely fat and… eventually seemed to sort of give up. We knew it was time when he didn't eat or drink anymore, and I think he knew it too. He was not having a great life, but he was loved and kept and much-pampered all through his life. We've always done the best for our animals, and we all knew we didn't want him to suffer a slow starvation, or some other kind of debilitating passing.
I'm really, really sorry to hear that your dog is not doing well, and that you're considering this one. 14 is within the "average" range for most dogs, and considering their life and aging, that's fairly old. I hope things get easier, and that your decision is the best one for everyone.
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you will know when the time comes.
if you have doubts, it is not the right time. -
There's never a right time for something like this, and Im not gonna lie, its going to be hard to go through. I recently had to put two pets down. My dad passed away in march, and I took in his dog, and I already had three cats. Shortly after, my big cat got sick, and because of funeral expences, I couldnt afford the treatments and she had to be put down. A week later, the police came to my door, explaining that my dads dog, was an illegal breed, he was legal with my dad, because the dog was older than the new dog-race law, but the dog was not allowed to be passed on to a new owner, and if I didnt take it to the vet, they would come back and take him from me. It was all a nightmare, and I wasnt ready for any of it, but I got through it. I burried my cat in my yard, and I have planted some flowers on her rest place. I burried my dads dog, next to his resting place, and had the dogs name written on my dads tombstone. I didnt think I would ever get over it, or forgive myself for not being able to save them, but I am getting over it. Im smiling again, and I know that I did what I had to do.
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So sorry to hear. I will share "our" experience because everyone's is different. Our pet poodle, Brandy, health began to fail at age 12. She had difficulty breathing, couldn't take many steps without having to stop to breathe, we had to lift her up for about everything. Her immune system began to break down and she broke out in horrible sores all over her precious body.
I took her to the vet when the sores broke out and he said he was surprised she was not in heart failure, as it was so weak. He highly recommended putting her to sleep as she was suffering. I was not prepared for that and told him "I'm not ready." He said to take her home and bring her back when I'm ready.
I took her home and held her all day (wrapped up in a towel as her body was full of horrible sores). After about three days realized it was time. I sat on the couch with her all day and cried waiting for my husband to get home so we could take her to her vet, who cared for her since we got her at six wks old. We had our son say good bye to her and took him to a friend's house. Daniel and Brandy were about same age, as after six years of infertility we got Brandy, then two months later I was pregnant with our son, so they grew up together.
The vet asked us if we wanted to stay with her during the process which shocked me, but in my surprise said yes. Husband and I are glad we did, even though that was the first we've heard of that. We have comfort knowing that she didn't suffer in the process and that it was peaceful. I agree with Autumn Sky about the peace of staying. Yes we cried as we held her, but also tears of love. Of course, everyone has to make their decision.
Sorry I rambled, just wanted to share that I know how difficult it is. This was 16 yrs ago, as you can see, still a vivid, but loving memory of her life with us. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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You have to stay with her. You’ll be glad you did. They often get scared and struggle if you leave- that makes it emotionally difficult on the staff and for you. Trust me, in the long run you will be glad. You’re not killing your dog. You are giving her your last gift as parents, the gift of carrying her away from her pain. This is part of pet ownership and I think it’s only right to face it.
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If she gets to be in pain, then it's time. I say, if she seems happy, just adjust life around her disabilities. They have this thing that you put on the dog so you can help them up!
Sounds like it might be a god investment for you. You might have to start forcing her to take potty breaks outside rather than letting her choose.
If you do put her down, stay with her.
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Steffie, what is an illegal breed? I have never heard of that. Learning every day…
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🙁 Unfortunately we as humans have the hardest decisions for the animals we love and take care of their whole lives. That is our burden to bear…it is a very hard choice and sometimes has to be made too quickly. Quality of life and amount of living that they have had are two things to ponder. A long beautiful life full of wonderful memories or it could be a animal in their prime or youth. If your dog is still seeing good times and not suffering beyond the point where comfort and happiness are unattainable. The decision is made by the owner alone. People have different reasons for doing what they do, letting go or keep fighting.
Acupuncture can do wonders…I have been out if the animal field for a couple years now, so I don’t know the extent or details of neuropathy but I have seen many cats and dogs who could not use their hind legs be able to do so or have more comfort with acupuncture and Chinese herbs. I’m certainly not a doctor but have seen remarkable things.
Also, if u choose to put ur dog to sleep, I personally would stay. It’s hard….but the moments that u get with them telling them u love them u will never forget them…they know..they are not alone..
I have been in many rooms where animals have taken their last breaths, some with the owners present and some not, people handle death differently (some people even laugh), some cry, some no emotion, some angry, some people stay and some people just can’t….and that is OK!! They make their peace and say goodbye in their own ways, I have always told the owners that no matter what they choose (to be In Room or not) I will b there and stay with them the entire time they aren’t going to be alone. Many people really appreciate it and some are ready to go in afterwards but not for the actual passing.
I wish u and your family the best during these hard times. I hope that u all make the decision which is not only best for you but most of all best for your ever loving companion. -
Thanks guys….i just dont think his quality of life is good rite now…oh….
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Ok, i’m crying thinking about it. I had to put our Kanani-girl down five years ago, and it was one of the hardest things ever. My eldest son, ex-husband and I stayed with her until she took her last breath. I’m so glad we were with her all the way to the end. My younger son couldn’t bring himself to go with us. (My kids were 22 & 23 at the time, so they weren’t little kids), but he and my mom said their goodbyes before we left the house. Whether you feel you can be there until the end or not is of course up to you. Either way I recommend saying your goodbyes because that’s a moment you won’t get back. Hugs to you.
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Hi Jade,
I just cannot make the appt….dont know how.
Today he was walking better but it is day to day. One day we came home and he had been on the ground for a long time I could tell…he had used the bathroom all around him but he was happy to see us. He needs someone there with him but all of us work. Basically he is just old. My mom has trouble getting up too and says she knows what he is going thru but hers is arthritis and she has family members with her. I have never seen anyone or anything die and I know I wont be able to watch .:(
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It is hard to be there but i couldn’t leave my babies with a stranger in their last hour. I know it hard i do rescue and it never gets easy… Being there for them to say good bye helps them pass in comfort and not be scared :(, I’m so sorry you are going through this it is never easy
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I'm so so sorry. I have had to deal with this a lot as I do dog rescue work. It's really hard to make these kinds of decisions. There are vets that will come to your home and do the euthanasia there, which is a lot easier than going to the vet to do it. Even though it's really difficult, I would suggest that you try to be there when it happens. It can be really horrible but at least your pet will have someone who they know loves them, holding them when they go. Perhaps if you can't handle it, you could have a friend or two come with, who might be able to be with them if it becomes too much for you. When I had to have my own dog euthanized two years ago it was the most painful thing I've ever had to go through. But being with him in the final moments, I felt the most love I've ever felt. It just filled up the room and my body and I know my dog felt it too. Even though it's a horrible thing, it can also feel good to feel that much love, to know that you were able to love an animal that much, and to know that you were able to return that love to them. When you know it is time, and usually you will know, ask some friends or family if they can go with you, and if they feel comfortable being with your dog in case it's too much for you. Your dog is so so lucky to have someone who cares so much about them.
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I’m so sorry Legs 🙁 I know it’s hard. My son couldn’t be there, but at least he had a chance to let her go. Email me if you need to.
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