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Q for ladies who dance for boyfriends (sexy style)
Hi Everyone,
I came across an old article (from '09) http://www.divinemovementdance.com/archives/75
It basically advises against dancing for a boyfriend/date (but not husband) so as not to lower your level of worth in his eyes.
I have read about a few instances of a date changing his mind about pursuing someone seemingly due to poling being revealed as a past time or demonstrated to them.
For those of you with boyfriends, is this really an issue? I don't mean pole fitness but specifically sexy dancing. I know some of you here have posted about problems like this but I thought it was not representative of the majority of polers (who like the exotic/seductive aspect if pole).
My Ex liked it when I danced for him. He never gave the impression that I had lowered his opinion of me – Once again the article is old so I'm wondering if it's outdated and things have changed or if the author just lives in her own world, but I'm curious to know your take on this especially if you have a boyfriend or even if you are just dating and things aren't "official"
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5 Replies
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Hmm, my initial reaction is this – if you are dancing sexily for the sole purpose of impressing someone, and you get no enjoyment form it yourself nor does it make you feel good, then your self esteem may be more the issue rather than his/her opinion. However if you are dancing sexily because you feel sexy, are sexy, and want to express your sexiness to someone who you want to share more with, then it is a wonderful, powerful and enjoyable thing. If by some chance this display of self confidence and sharing does 'lower' a guys opinion of you, then his opinion probably shouldn't matter.
Harsh, but faaaiiirrrrrr
🙂
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Not at all! If my boyfriend gets a sexy dance from me (which isn't very often, I should fix that, hehe), he's all excited! He feels special that I want to dance specifically for him. And since I'd always wear his favorite piece of lingerie (the guy is a sucker for hosiery), he's very pleased with the whole idea. I guess it depends on the man. If he were the kind of guy that would put down a woman for showing off her sexiness or felt like any girl showcasing that kind of sexiness was simply objectifying herself then yeah, that article would be correct. I would not be able to be with a man who thought of expression of sexuality in such terms, though, so it wouldn't be a problem for me.
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I think that how someone responds to pole dancing (or sexy dancing) is more about them than about the dancer. If they're going to look down on someone for it, that's something in their personality that exists whether that person is dancing for them or not. I don't think that the author can generalize that all people outside of a marriage are going to look down on you for it.
For me personally, I wouldn't dance for someone without having a feel for how they'd receive it. And if they weren't going to receive it well, then I wouldn't be dating them anyway because they wouldn't be a good fit for me (though I'm married, so this is a hypothetical scenario).
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I agree with Ms Moxie above that it depends on that person.
I've had no problems with my ex (we were dating 2004 -2008 when pole fitness was still relatively new) and my current bf who were both supportive of me and they both know that it's just a fitness thing. Funny thing is they both found watching me on the pole boring, lol! Perhaps I'm a crap dancer and can't do sexy dancing nicely. The only qualms my bf has with me and pole is not hurting myself as I've sustained a couple of injuries in the past.
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Thanks for your input ladies 🙂
The more I've looked into this article the more it doesn't seem to be derived from much else than a preconceived notion of the author. To each their own!
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