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Quiting Pole due to Pole Drama!!
Good Morning Peeps 🙂
I hope everyone is having a great day so far!!
I decided to start this discussion because I need some feed back from other pole communities.
What would you do if the studio you have been going to for 1 year gets upset at you because you decided to take a couple of workshops at another studio…being that the studio you attend never offers workshops, but you don't cancel your membership with them…you just want to try something different.
Then you start discovering that the entire pole community in your town don't get along, studio pole drama!!! they want to own you, they want to control your life, what you do and where you go, they want you to only go to their studio and if you don't, they get really mad at you, to the point where they won't talk to you anymore if you don't do what they tell you.
Should that person just quit pole and move on or continue the pole drama?
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36 Replies
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Honestly, I feel sorry for you that that is the only studio in your area. I have none locally and go tommy different ones for workshops. I would find a new studio or just go to workshops. That sounds like a royal mess.
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No studio owns a client. Is this the owner that is doing this or the other students? I would personally sit and talk to the owner about it. They should not be bringing their own personal drama and instilling it in the students. Sadly I know this to happen all over though. If the owner is smart she will stop this because in the long run it will only hurt her business.
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It's the entire studio staff not the students…and I have spoken to the owner but we got no where. 🙁
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That's too bad. I don't understand pole drama…and believe me in becoming part of my local pole community I've been involved in it unwittingly. Unfortunately, there seems to be drama in ALL circles (I'm also a hooper and have been involved in it there too, sadly).
How did the studio owner communicate her upset to you?
If it were me (and not knowing the exact situation) I would question whether it was worth it to continue at the studio (e–do I like my teacher/classmates/progression etc)…or whether I should continue poling solely 'at home.' Probably only you can answer that.
I'm personally fine with my students going to other studios, in fact I have a hard time saying 'my students' because I certainly don't own them or want to control them, but I do feel a lot of affection for them and want them to be safe and avoid injury. I feel like there's this balance between pushing physical limits and being unsafe/having students who are not ready do moves too soon/not be taught proper body mechanics and engagement etc. Everyone needs to have a good sense of their own limits and a good sense of self preservation. 😀
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Sadly it's common….
Learning from other instructors is a great thing! If the studio you're going to offers quality instruction and fair pricing, then there shouldn't be any reason for them to get upset about students supplementing their pole practice elsewhere. I find the studios that know they're teaching might not be the best, tend to get their feathers ruffled if students look outside the studio for instruction. This doesn't mean all studios who dislike students poling elsewhere have poor instruction, I'm just saying it's one of the more common reasons. Owners having bad relationships or one studio feels the other has unsafe practices are also possibilities.
As Sparrow mentioned, there's always an option of home poling. I would hate to see anyone stop poling because of studio drama!
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Unfortunately this does not just happen in pole. I see it happen in yoga communities too – even though there is this idea that yoga is all about happiness and peace and love, there can be a lot of drama about student retention and local studios "getting along" with each other, in terms of instructional style, class offerings, or just overall attitudes. Like it or not, studios are businesses and need to retain regular students in order to make consistent money. It sounds like your studio might be going about student retention in the wrong way. Do you live in a large city? If not, it could be that there are not enough people in the area to support as many pole studios as there are. That could make a studio really anxious to maintain loyalty.
You definitely shouldn't give up on pole. Home study is one option. There are no studios where I love. So I practice at home, do yoga, and also take occasional weekend workshops at several studios in reasonable driving distance, including the one I started at (which is 2 hours away, but worth visiting.)
One of the reasons I really like StudioVeena is because there's none of this rivalry that comes from local business competition. Sure, the local studios around here might be rivals and trash talk each other, but why can't I be pole friends with, or get instructional tips, from someone in Texas or California or France? It doesn't impact anyone's bottom line at all, it's just done out of sheer friendliness and a desire to share.
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I informed the owner of what one of her instructors was saying and doing in class, which made me and another student feel uncomfortable…and then she went off on me about how I hurt her because I went to a workshop with an instructor she didn't like.
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Oh no this is just so wrong. Did you sign a waiver/student contract that said that you can’t attend classes at other studios? Even if you did unknowingly, this is just wrong. No one has a right to do this. And to me, this is definitely harassment/bullying.
I would leave that studio & just do workshops & home pole, no one should tell you who & what you can do. That is your choice. Veena’s lessons are excellent & you can set up Skype pole jams with other veeneers or join the Flexines on Tues, Thurs & Sundays for morale, stretching, pole practice & motivation. We’re all here for you. Message me anytime if you need to vent.
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That should be where you should go & what you can do…not who you can do lol
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OMG this is so childish of the staff at your studio! If they don't even offer workshops, then what are you supposed to do? I understand studios are eager to keep their students but anyone should be grown up enough to understand that they don't own anyone.
I'm sure I could never enjoy going back to that place anymore after such a drama.
I'd say, go for home poling 🙂
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I agree with a lot of what others have posted – and this is an age-old issue on the martial arts world – at least in the pole community you don't have students turning up to other studios to try and beat up the instructors… Mt muay thai instructor closed his studio and began to teach only from home because he got sick of fighting the new karate studio kids wanting to try and take the 'top dog' down.
Alas, politics comes into play in most communities – and unfortunately it can be very difficult to avoid, and for those who are lucky enough to be in a very welcoming interconnected group, difficult to understand what you are going through. Of course it shouldn't be this way, I utterly agree that we should all be one big fabulous upside down loving family.
I would agree, whilst I love my studio, if I ended up in a place where I couldn't pole in a studio (due to politics or availability), the passion for the style is still a part of my life, and I would pole purely at home, and perhaps start a movement of street polers, taking on those pesky parkour kids (joking – I was one of those at one point). I know it is disheartening, but the internet has made the world a very small and accessible place – you have a pole community here, ready to train with you and support your progress.
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Koi I wasn't gonna say it, but… OMG this is such a problem in martial arts too. It's like everyone decided that the Karate Kid was a documentary…
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Ninja… wait.. you mean it wasn't? Mr Miagi isn't real?? NOOOOOOOO
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LOL, he was, but he wasn't that guy… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ch%C5%8Djun_Miyagi
Japanese martial arts is interesting because of how much it draws on the samurai-clan mythology, which requires fealty even to death. It makes it so much more dramatic when you actually do want to leave for legitimate reasons. I left my dojo because I got a job far away, around that same time my instructor got sick and eventually passed away from cancer. It was sad all around but the power vacuum from his absence brought out everyone's ugly sides. Now none of those people even talk to me anymore – won't answer phone calls or emails, didn't respond to invites to my wedding, just because I "betrayed" them. I spent 10 years of my life with them, and now they act like I don't exist. Martial artists can be almost cult-ish.
Back on topic to pole and Alexa's specific problem – yes, it sounds like the people at this studio are acting like children. Maybe their intentions are understandable (students=money) but I would not give my money to a place with staff that acted like that. I say, go to whatever workshops you like, pole at home, and don't bother with people who can't accept that other pole studios exist.
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That surprises me about the martial arts as the school that my husband went to did not allow crap like that. It was out of RESPECT that you did not go to another dojo without first asking if it was ok, but in no way were they ever out to get one another unless it was at a tournament. But maybe it is also the style at the dojo. I know that many are all about the fight and not about the message.
I guess I have been lucky thus far. In Cleveland the schools all work together and realize that each one has a place. They share instructors and students and many times events. Here in NC while I am still new, I know that many of the students attend workshops all over and there is a push to go and learn all you can. After all, the instructors job is to make a great student and without outside influences that just will not happen.
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