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Quiting Pole due to Pole Drama!!
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Don't get me wrong – there are plenty of MA school that do not condone that sort of behaviour, and there is an emphasis on respect for both the chosen dojo/school, and for fellow practitioners. However for every 1 of these, there are 3 that think there is a need to 'prove' their mightiness.
When I was at my muay thai/eskrima studio, we had 'visitors' from karate, judo, taekwondo, various kung fu's and a few of the kick boxing boys come through to 'test' us. When I was at my Wing Chun (kung fu) school, we had the same – although my Sifu was such a frightening little nugget of a man that most would end up coming back to train with him – some in private only so as not to 'ruffle' the feathers of their home schools. Crazy stuff.
The other side of it (devil's advocate) is that for some instructors, they feel it is a huge slight to them for a student to come to them for training, take their expertise, their knowledge and then go somewhere else. Some feel it is about loyalty – I am not saying I agree, just that I understand the mindset. I know my muay thai Guru would get very upset when he would put in so much effort to train someone for competitions, really give them the inside knowledge of his years of experience, and then they would just quit because their lives changed – which is utterly understandable that they should do that, but he would still feel hurt.
For this reason, if I were to want to go elsewhere to train for some reason, whether as a traveller or for a workshop, I would have a conversation first with my studio. Not because I think they would mind, I know they wouldn't – and not that if they did, it would change my actions – but rather out of respect to my 'teacher'. I would want them to be a part of my progress and my training. Mind you, I wouldn't necessarily expect others to do this – it is years of MA conditioning that makes this something I would do 🙂
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Oh and geez Ninja, how DARE you leave your dojo. don't you realise they are meant to own you for life?
I tell you what though – for those who think the pole community has drama – go check out a MA forum. It gets very very ugly.
This is nice here. I like it here. 🙂
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Thanks everyone for your honest opinio…but I think I am going to purchase the Studio Veena membership and pole from home…I have 2 poles and soon I will also have a lyra and fly gym. I'm just glad I didn't have a contract with them…paying $150.00 monthly to go deal with drama is not worth it at all…my husband is very supportive of the pole community but he says that I should go to pole to de-stressed not to be-stressed!! 🙂
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Good luck, Alexa! I'm so sorry this has happened to you. We should be supporting one another in the pole community, not tearing each other down. I understand that studios are businesses but it's bad business to drive students away by being catty.
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Ugh that’s soo sucky. I wish you luck in your journey of home poling. I hope to do the same soon.
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This situation screams red flags to me. Any instructor who has any sort of certification in fitness via ACE, AFAA, what have you, should KNOW that that is unacceptable behavior. Honestly, I would go where there is no drama. If all of them are like that, I'd leave and learn at home. Seriously, SV lessons and a home pole and you're golden.
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The acting community is very much the same. Acting classes are filled with drama that has nothing to do with acting. Teachers get jealous when you see another teacher, etc. Just get what you want out of class. if comraderie is very important then you might want to go somewhere else. if you are cool with just learning what you want to learn then stay there. bottom line is this- they will take your money either way. you are paying them for their services. they work for you. you dont like them. fire them. You owe them nothing. I may sound like an a&&hole but it's the truth. You are not paying class fees to be treated like crap.
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I’m disappointed for you.
Recently I went to another studio while on vacation. Although I didn’t have to mention it to my current studio since it was in another province, I chose to because the instructor at the new place complemented me on a couple of moves that my instructors had been working with me on.
Turns out my current studio thought it was wonderful that I tried something new. They also say that if you are stuck or at a plateau that sometimes learning from a new source can be helpful.
Your studio should be encouraging you, and not acting as they are. Although learning from a studio (i.e. having live instruction, spotters, crash mats, etc.) is great, it sounds like you would be better off learning on your own for now and leaving the drama behind.
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I must admit, i stopped reading half way through… But i have had an experience as an instructor of a studio in my city where another studio has said to me ‘if you teach or attend classes at TML you can NOT take classes or workshops at our studio (meanwhile said un-named studio trolls our public facebook page and contacts our clientele and tries to skim clients from us via FB msngr) and that hurts me… Because as a pole community we should realize that even though we are close geographically, we differ in what we offer as far as classes and overall goal for our students. While one side may say “come here and meet your sexy side” the other may say “we welcome all women, no matter size, color, or musical preference- we want you to find a home here and be able to work out and better yourself, no matter your goal)
I wish ‘competing studios’ in my area allowed students from other studios to come and take workshops (at least) at each others venues, but so far this is far from the case…. In my view- there are enough clients to go around- find your niche as a studio owner and OWN it… Dont pull nasty, passive-aggressive crap to take one or two clients from someone who is just about the CLIENTS… If you are doing the right thing by your people they will stay, and if not your busuness will falter… Pole people are a small community and we should stick together, not fight with each other. We are all about the same thing- finding a fun, liberating, sexy way to express one’s self and keep in shape….
Oh, and F*ck that studio that pushed you away… I would never do that to my students- i encourage them to seek instruction from multiple instructors- we all have different talents, right?
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Let me just say that I quit bellydance due to drama, but in the time I was teaching, I had good relationships with a lot of the instructors in town and I took classes from them! I wish everyone took that approach, but alas, when you get girls involved in anything there will be drama.
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Correction…when you get *artists* involved in anything. There is just as much drama with guys (see the martial arts post).
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Lol, Battle of the testosterone fueled penises! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_safesex.gif
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Alexa, I'm sorry this has happened to you! I love it when our students get the opportunity to go to another studio! There are so many variations of what we all do! I encourage it! and have students ask me if there is a studio where they are traveling to. They know I will give them info! I also promote studioveena to all of our students! I can only offer/do so much in classes, so I feel the program that is on SV is very beneficial! Also, we are unable to provide workshops for the most part because allot of people either won't come to north Dakota, or ask outrageous prices and compensation. We are still building our business, and try to keep cost reasonable. I am embarrassed by this type of behavior by a business. We will never reach our common goal until we can embrace and support each other, which is why I generally keep to myself and stay out of the controversy and drama. I agree, Alexa, if this is not something you want or are comfortable with, then SV and Skype is a wonderful option!!! (((Hugs))).
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Pole drama who would ever had thought ….last year I was going to a studio but I felt they were not helping me like they should and I thought bout joining this other studio but it was a bit further from where I live but ahhhh from reading this I’m glad I didn’t an just decided to join the SV crew because that pole drama is too much for me.
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Walk with your head high, you have done nothing wrong and learning from a variety of teachers is important in your development whether it be pole or any other activity…………..they are stupid you are not. End of story you pay them money to teach you, that is all, they should be grateful for the money you pay and offer you a service which includes helping you reach your goals, including learning from as many sources as possible.
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