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Rhinoceros Issues
I started Veena's lessons this week. Now I know why everyone raves about them. SO thorough and broken down. I'm in the Beginner section, learning a lot and loving it. However, when I capture video of myself, therein lies the challenge. Wow. I went from feeling sexified and slinky, to feeling like a rhino attempting to dance. Watching the video of myself was mortifying! Granted, I'm bloaty from my period (yeah, tmi), which causes me to feel fat, of course, I wasn't wearing very flattering shorts and top, and the camera supposedly "adds ten pounds."
Has anyone else gone through this in the beginning? I'm so discouraged. Maybe it's just PMS body image blues? It seems easier to just learn the moves without a mirror or video, but like everyone says, it helps with form. It did help me see that I had the hip circles down better than I thought I did, so there's that. Even though I do resemble a hip circling Brachiosaurus.
I don't know, guess I'm just feeling blue and looking for anyone else's encouragement who has been through this also.
Thanks for reading!
~Jolene
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21 Replies
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Hi, a big welcome to you!https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif
I think you're probably seeing your video way different to how everyone else would, it's so easy to really pull yourself apart instead of seeing what you do well, I'm really guilty of doing it too!
I've been poling for several years now & have still to put any videos up here, I just think I don't look like me in them, or at least how I'd like to look. It's a really good thing to record your own progress & sometimes look back & see how far you've progressed even if you're not ready to show the world, it'll give you a great confidence boost.https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
The most important thing to remember is that no matter how good, everyone started somewhere, also it's a really supportive pole community on here, everyone's so kind!
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Webcams have wide angle lenses to capture the whole room, which makes anyone look thicker than they are, its like a fun house mirror effect.
Its even worse when my BFF is a 90lb Korean girl who can do pole tricks like a pro, just standing next to her makes me feel like http://youtu.be/BYAKoo8d9K8 and that girl is better on the pole than I am.
I Have been through this, since I got my pole; beating myself up and hating on myself. It's totally not worth it, but for some reason hating on myself is better than rationalizing how i ever let myself go this badly.
We all have our own personal standards for ourselves, but it does get better, I promise that and my videos from day 1 to day 22 are encouragement enough to keep going and now, I am no longer aiming for what I used to look like, I am aiming for better than I used to look like.
I also stopped comparing myself to my BFF or anyone else it's disheartening and demotivational. though I still feel like lulu at times, not as often and eventually never again.
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Yeah the girls are so right! Depending on the camera you use and angles you can end up looking totally different on video than you do in person! It can also be one of those things that you have to get use to seeing. It can be really challenging to look past what we "think" are flaws. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_heart1.gif
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Let me just start by saying “cute” and “little” are words that I’ve never once heard to describe me. I am a 5′ 10″ tall woman and I fluctuate rapidly anywhere between 140-200lbs like it’s a damn magic trick. It’s just the way I am, (thyroid tested, strict diet, exercise, and that jazz…negative), just my psycho metabolism.
When I started poling I did EVERYTHING possible to make my body look better in videos. I super-edited out all unflattering angles and jiggles; I used b&w, shadows, and red tint to hide my veiny, cellulite riddled legs; I avoided certain moves even if I could do them because I didn’t like how they made me look; I hated my low ceiling because when I put on heels I was a serious giant and I LOVE my heels.
Then a funny thing happened. My less edited and polished videos were the ones that got the most praise/views. I DID get hecklers too, but rarely because of my body. I gotta say, I have received more compliments for my natural unedited body than anything else in my videos. I’m to a point where I could care less about it because I want feedback for THE MOVES now. lol
Guess I shoulda practiced more and worried less, huh? 😉
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Oh and, btw, I had my period during two public performances. It’s just the way the dates were set. I was among about two-dozen petite performers who probably didn’t weigh much more than 110lbs or were 5’6″ tall at best. I felt hideously bloated and heavy, but I did not hear one word about my weight or overall hugeness compared to the other girls. My form and lack of tricks, on the other hand…lol.
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And I am SURE you do not look like a rhinoceros, dear.
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Go through it all time…keep videoing your self…don't be critical.. Sometimes when you thinks something looks good..you see it on film and your thinking that looked a whole lot different to me in my head….but then other times you think you made a mistake and it turns out looking awesome… Stay the course..you get there
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While it seems torturous, push past. The more you record yourself and watch yourself dance, you become increasingly self aware. Use this to your advantage to help shape the sort of dancer you want to become.
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Yup, been there, done that…still there and do that 🙂 I struggle horribly with the 'dance" part of pole. I'm just not good at it and am a stiff robot when I try. I do have some vids of pole dance here, but MOST of them are of practices and accomplishments. Then there are the videos where my poochy tummy is well, poochy! I do like recording though, because I can see where I need to improve form/technique/pointed toes, etc.
So you are definitely not the only one. Hang in there and enjoy your pole journey. This is a great place for fun, support and encouragement. WELCOME!
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Oh, and even though I'm sure you're not, your topic topic title and description made me chuckle! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif
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I feel huge in comparison to other girls…I was trying to do straight leg aerial shoulder mounts at my studio the other day….Stubbing your toe on the cieling is the worst thing ever.
I feel like the smaller girls can do more because there's less of them. Yeah, 90 lbs at 5'5" is probably proportionally about the same as 5'10" and 140 (which is what I am). But really. you expect me to believe gravity likes me the same?
I got over it really quick. But I'm also a natural dancer. Normally customers tell me, "I don't normally like thick girls, but I love the way you dance." It all comes down to expression 🙂
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Dear god, if they're 90lb at 5'5" they should be seeking eating disorder counseling. That's a BMI of 15! (Healthy is 18.5-25). I'm 5'5" and a stubby-limbed 145lbs.
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Ag, that last post was from me- not Roxi. My computer is logged into Roxi's acct and won't let me log out.
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I feel huge pretty much every time I set foot in a pole class. Not height-wise (I'm only 5'5") but just in overall body shape and composition. So many of my pole classmates and friends have a long-and-lean physique, where I'm a little teapot, short and stout. 🙂
Find some clothes to practice in that flatter your figure. I know for me, if I'm poling in just a sports bra and shorts as usual, there are a few sports bras I have that make my already-big boobs look bigger, and some shorts I have that come up too high on my waist, creating unflattering muffin-tops and exacerbating my short torso. I never thought I'd actually PREFER myself in tiny bikini bottoms than something that covers more skin – but really, when I switched to smaller bottoms, I was way more happy with how I looked on camera.
And remember, if you're like most women, you're your own worst critic. I can't watch my own videos without pangs of UGH GROSS! when I see the way my belly fat folds over during floorwork or the way my breasts seem to be trying to eat my face when I'm upside down.
But I still post them here, because the ONLY person who has EVER made a disparaging remark about my appearance on this site is ME. I'm serious. If I'm the only one saying "UGH GROSS!" and everyone else is saying "OMG great job, you're improving so much, I loved your backbend" etc. it becomes that much easier to stop listening to my own negative commentary. Ask yourself this – when you watch other people's videos on here, how much attention do you pay to their bodies, and how much to their actual pole dancing? It's not a beauty competition around here – and I'm glad, because we have too many beauties in our midst to ever be able to declare a winner. 🙂
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at 5'5'' and 165 lbs i feel your pain. i even have a great shouldermount vid i havent posted becuse of the way my belly hugs the pole! ive been poling for 4 months and every vid i take i watch and think oh my god this is how other people see me! ive tried to focus on the positive but its really hard and can be discouraging. dont let it discourage you as it has me! everyone has beauty,in how they move or express themselves! i feel as if i would be farther along had i not let this issue plague me,dont make my mistake! everyone is beautiful in their own right..own your beauty!
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