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Social media, inspiring or discouraging?
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Is maybe well known??? My pole video exposure is pretty much all through veena or YouTube so IG polers are all new to me ^_^
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Hello all!
I just finished a recital/showcase tonight at my studio, and I came home and decided to post here. I, for one, do not post any of my videos online. My studio owner is pushing me to compete in the next competition, but I just don’t want any of my performances online. I have been poling for about 3 years now, and there are still some tricks I can’t do. Sometimes, I get frustrated with myself, because I really love the “dance” part of pole, but also want to be more versatile in my pole dance journey. Yes, I love the sensual part of pole, the floor work, but now I’m more into “telling a story” with my poling. I can do a few hard tricks such as Allerga, Superman, Yogini, etc, but I want to incorporate those tricks into a story I’m telling with the pole, which would involve floor work as well as some dancing, as well as props.
Sometimes, I will look on YouTube for whatever trick I am working on at the moment and see who has the best tutorials for my learning style. I simply look at some competitions if I want inspiration on story telling. I will say I love Aletha Austin and Karol Helms because I like how they incorporate the sensual with the story telling and the athleticism. And that’s what I aspire to do, not be them, but to successfully incorporate all aspects of pole.
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Hi Veeners! I am not a first generation poler… On here I used to be JelliCrew but I changed to Angie La bc I opened a studio when I moved to the US, and it was easier for people to make the connection.
I started spring 2011 and never belonged to a studio–only homeschooling pole and finding some pole friends along the way. I can remember feeling “left behind” just even on studioveena. I was afraid of losing progress or that I would never get this or that… I sent a message to Veena once, brooding over whether or not to have an elective surgery because of the time I would spend off the pole, and my progress. One thing she asked me was “why do you even pole dance…?” Or something like that. Flash forward a couple years and I am a studio owner and I still have to remind myself why I do this bc now there is a different pressure–doing what I love on top of it being a business. I didn’t open a studio to become a studio chain, make a name for myself, or prove anything… I wanted to share what pole had done for me in hopes to offer this glorious gift to others. That being said, I NEED social media. Why? So people can find me, stalk me, and see that I am a legitimate teacher. Why? Bc I have to pay off my studio. I do NOT feel like I need to be a contortionist to do pole dancing…I would like to be able to grab my foot… I do not need to feel like I can do a fonji…etc. I do like pole challenges bc they cause me to focus on myself instead of just what I am teaching my students–it’s an intrinsic thing and it’s nice for others who knew me before to see that I am still at it. Should I just stop doing tricks thinking I will make someone feel bad about themselves…? Should I stop posting..? Should the pole “stars” stop posting..? This is their passion and pride too. Gymnasts, former ballerinas, exotic dancers, show girls…there is room for it all. What is becoming mainstream is the sanitization of pole dancing. Who was it that blogged about this…? Someone did bc that is what is happening. There is a lot of things that aren’t what they used to be–cars, toys, medicine, and yes pole dancing.
I recently went to a competition and ran into someone I used to watch their tutorials online when I was first starting out. I’m not naming names 😉 but it was such a let down when I finally met her. She meant so much to me when I was learning ways to come out of a superman, what tricks I could add to my tool box… To top it off, her school was there to RESPRESNT and that they did, and cleaned house! The air was so thick and unfriendly. I found some placements to be justifiable and others it seemed like a popularity contest. This was a large organized, regional competition. I brought my girls with me bc I wanted them to see what it was like and I felt so embarrassed for the pole community…I felt like someone told me Santa Claus was not real. I had lived in my pole bubble for so long that the reality was a slap in the face. The reality is that it is a business, and it involves numbers…when it comes to passion and art, numbers always win. I had my own little pity party, vowing never to conform, never to compete or give money to organizations who run events like this… I calmed down and remembered–why do I even do pole???? I’ve created my own pole world with people who are growing and changing. One of my students, the one who competed, can dead lift and do a Phoenix and I can not. She is a former gymnast and spent years training her body in ways I did not. But that is her and I am me. Sure I try to lift, I would love to be able to do a Phoenix! But I still feel like I am learning the art of heels, expression, transitions, hair flicks, and handstands! Would I ever in my adult life feel like I would want to conquer handstands if if were not for pole, maybe not. There are lots of yoga moves that are connected with pole and even breakdancing. There is so much to explore!
I encourage everyone to stop looking around and look inside… Yes I see things and wonder if I can do that and sometimes I can. There are more times now that I can than I could before…I didn’t give up. There are other moves that I feel are unsafe for my body…I do not need to do a rainbow marchenko but I would like to have a flat split. I would like to do a straddle split and push through.
I’m digressing but this is my take on progress, comparing, and social media. What do I see in my feed? Whatever I subscribe to. If I subscribe to people who make me question my pole competency, then that says more about me than it does them. Don’t subscribe to them. Live and let live. But yes, I see lots of crazy stuff in my feed. I like clips but I also like the opportunity to see the long version, so I like when people say “the longer version is…(wherever they posted it).”
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Competitions are not the best place to meet people. I know when I compete I’m a mess and it’s hard to connect as I would like to – gosh I feel the same about when I meet people at Pole Fest, lol. People are talking and I’m the back my head I’m listening and trying to watch everything because I’m a micromanager and trying to connect one to one. It’s sooo hard. It so easy to come off wrong in those situations.
I think competition can be really healthy and push people to be their best. I don’t know how many times I’ve said stuff like “it’s just a showcase,” or “sweet! It’s a non pole crowd, easy tricks,” you know what I mean? It’s really hard being a returning competitor whether you placed or not because your living against your last thing. It’s hard.
It’s also important to build your world and your bubble. I think it’s really important to stick to your values and not support those who do not fit in line with that.
As far as first gen polers vs new gen…it’s changed so much. First gen had their problems too because we didn’t have a lot of the info we have now and when people did things differently they were mocked and hurt. I saw it go down. I sometimes tried to be really diplomatic and step in to explain both sides sometimes to only make everyone mad, lol! I think it’s really important to have a forgiving attitude because even still most of the time we communicate through text on a screen which comes off bad sometimes. I’m really working on his personally. We are all artists and passionate about what and how we do things we can’t always agree. I have had my head in the sand for a long time trying to avoid pole hurt – you can’t.
As far as social media goes I wasn’t referring to pros. I think back to Veena’s post about pro moves and most pros will agree with that. They are doing things fit for them, there are moves they don’t do. One pro and one point didn’t like CAR lol! I think the upcoming professionals sometimes inadvertently propagate the whole “trick, trick, trick, impossible trick thing.” I also don’t think anyone is intentionally trying to push people,or away or hurt others with their talents. For me I temper often what I post and how I say or represent things because I’m a huge people pleaser. A lot of people are just proud of their hot shot new trick. That’s ok.
There’s just A LOT more self focus than there was. There’s more “me” than us. There’s is less working together, there is less openness and inclusion.
Now to a funny story – earlier this year one of my friends peeved me so bad when she went on and on about someone and I looked at her and was like “I’ve been teaching you that stuff for years! What makes her so great?” And it was funny because she agreed but it was because it was someone she didn’t know. I just replied with a smile that they say familiarity breeds contempt – hahahahaha. But in all seriousness I’d like to see more sharing to share and evolve and enrich others than feeling like someone is showing off again for the umpteenth time. But then again, I’m reading words what if I’m wrong about the intent? 🙂
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~~~Social Media Feeds?- I limit my pole friend and follow lists to people I have met either through SV or a workshop. To me, social media is a personal relationship and I want to be invested in their journey! It doesn’t matter if it’s a 3 second clip or a full dance.
~~~Encouraged or Discouraged? – As an “older” poler, I am always encouraged. I know what my limitations are (although they weren’t as limited as I first thought!) so I don’t get discouraged by what I watch. Ever.
~~~~Video Clip or Dance? – I admit that most times I would rather see a clip, but that’s usually because of time constraints. I am awed by a full dance and there is nothing like a live performance!!!
One of the things I find myself thinking of repeatedly is the difference in the level of “difficulty” in just a few short years. My first Midwest Convention (2012) was a much different experience than 2013. More gymnastics, more janeiros and fonjis…Don’t get me wrong. I think these tricks are impressive, but I enjoy the lyrical, emotional, artistic form of pole. (I do know what you mean, Charley!)
I will be performing for my first time this October. I said I would never do that. The ONLY reason I am going to is that it is a local venue for a charity. Most of the audience will be non-polers. I would never perform at one of the conventions, mainly because I won’t put that kind of pressure on myself.
I can appreciate where pole is going, if for no other reason than having an outlet for those who want to go in that direction. However, I do hope we can maintain some of the “easy-going” forms of it. “What would Layla do?” Indeed!!!!!!!! Have fun, be yourself, and fuck ’em if they don’t like what you do. Be a Goddess!!!
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( kinda off topic) I like everyones point of view and it opens up different ways of thinking about these situations. I do want to say though in response to “likes” ,”comments” or “shares” as far as facebook is concerned. I could careless about these things on youtube or studioveena etc.. It is nice to have that though, knowing people liked the video and took the time out of their lives to watch it etc..it is a great confidence booster to some. BUT on facebook, it is my personal account. Almost everyone on there except a few of you polers and a few friends of friends, I know everyone. It is my friends and family. So when I post videos, I sometimes get likes and comments and shares but hardly. But I will post pictures of my pole stuff or share some other video and it gets lots of likes! lol. It makes me feel like no one cares really and thats fine too! But it does kinda make you feel like your being a creeper posting this stuff because people will private message me and say awesome or that was bad ass or your getting good but they don’t say that on the video or whatever. They will say “i hope i’m not being a weirdo telling you this”…That right there is like “Am i being a creeper posting this lol” That is what bugs me. If you watched the video and you like it or want to say something, do it on the video!! Don’t pm me unless your scared of your girl or something lol because I am trying to inspire people and share my journey with friends and family like they share their kids and other life things and passions. It makes me feel disheartened thinking that im being a creep. I am not trying to show off or get attention, well maybe a little haha but you know what i mean. I just want to share a big part of my life with friends and family like they do theirs.. So when no one likes it or anything, I feel like i’m being weird or they just don’t like it or get sick of it and that hurts me because these people are my close friends and family. I know most do like it because they have said things to me and encouraged me so I get trapped in my own head putting thoughts in their that have no business being in there lol. It is just the reassurance that some people need, not that it is for attention. Because I don’t give a shit what people think except when it comes to certain people. I am getting over the anxiety of posting this on facebook and will continue to post regardless of likes etc..I already have quite a few wanting to try it out so that is my goal, to motivate people and inspire. That is what i have to remind myself.
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We absolutely need pro’s and pole stars to represent and it’s great to follow them because you will find inspiration. I have no issue with them, they have worked VERY hard and I know how time consuming it is to keep up with posting to social media and I personally find it mentally draining at times, then other times its fun to try and find things people like to share. I’m talking more about what and how pole related companies present pole to the world, at this point in time it doesn’t seem like a general population obtainable exercise or art.
After reading everything it seems I will continue to try and post a mix of inspirational, informational, and the incredible to our sv page?
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Veena’s you are an awesome source of inspiration to the community. Your pro move blog still enters my head often. It’s like yeah it’s a signature trick for a reason. You constantly push the community is a nice direction.
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Thank you 😊
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Veena, I hear what your are saying…it seems like pole related companies sometimes do kind of show just more the trickster side of pole vs. maybe someone just doing a simple pole sit or fireman spin.
I know when I demo (and my instructors) for an intro we try to keep the WOW tricks to a minimum. We try to incorporate more floorwork(the average woman LOVES floorwork), wall work, chair dance, and pole fillers. They are already overwhelmed as it is so we really work the stage presence/persona, walking, sensual movement and connecting with the audience. That seems to work pretty well 🙂
I like to watch videos. I dont really get too discouraged from others progress. I know what I excel at and what type of artists that do the movements that I like (olga koda, eva bembo, etc..) I just learn tricks as I see fit. But I definitely find videos and clips extremely helpful…especially when you teach and you need some new material 😉 There truly is something to learn from everyone. Its cool to see all the different styles out there from around the world. I am just in awe at times b/c when I started my studio 9 years ago it was like one chick on youtube that wore white that pole tricked out of her garage ( i think her name was elena or something like that) and there was one dvd called pole kats. That was it…so to see how this has evolved still blows me away sometimes. -
What do YOU guys see in your social media feeds?
I follow a lot of the stars. I’ll be honest I am inspired by tricks and flexibility. Comming from a figure skating background I have a mind set built in already that I have to get my “tricks ” down solid. But on the same note…. I was so successful in my figure skating journey because I had a balance between my tricks and my dance. The performance side of anything is so important. The in between beats. The quiet pauses. The extension threw your shoulder elbow wrist then finger tips. Your eye contact and pointed toes. I love a trick filled performance. As long as the in between moments are filled with emotion. I do see a lot of clips in my feed. I like them and with them it’s easy. But I also make a point to watch performances and practices all the way threw because I know if I post a 7 min long video it is because I wanted to share those 7 min with you. Were here to aoupirt each other were a family. When I started so many liked my videos and have pointers. Those moments made my day and still do and I want to give that back to others.Do you feel encouraged or discouraged by what you see?
It hits me bouth ways I think. Some of the big tricks I think even tho I’m strong and pretty flexible I still get inside my head too much and think. No freaking way! And some times I take it in as a challenge. Like dragons tail. I was terrified of it but wanted to try it’s not perfect and will never be like Charlees but it’s fun to try and be part of that. I’d say the big stuff motivates me more then discourages meHave we been too spoiled by the video clip to sit down and enjoy a dance?
I like clips to a point. It’s awsome to get a trick or combo down love seeing it. However where is the struggle. Where is the time it took to get that move. Where was the falls and trips. The bruises and angry grumbles and screams. The tears … Before the happy dance it’s not all a happy dance I post the entry’s to my tricks and exits and more then one attempt because it’s real. The reality of trying to get a move. That is think can be motivating I it’s self. And is important for people new into pole and the communityHow can we get everyone here to help spread the word that pole IS for EVERYONE?
Taking the time to watch epithets videos.teading there comments and adding our own comments. Making sure to thank those who take time to coment in our own posts
But not hidding. Not being afraid or scared. By being confidant in our selves and abilities no mater what stage we are at. We need to share. We need to share our dances that are trick free we need to embrace that. We need to share the struggles behind the achievement of a new move and embrace the journey. It’s like the behind the seans of pole dance.
I watched a video the other day about how pole dance fitness has realy taken over. The fitness side is the big focus now. Pushing the sexy side. The dance side the flow and grace has disappeared and it is all about strength. I think we need to remember to dance. I think it could be that simple dance and share get back to basics. Perfect our basics and build on the basics of pole. And promote each other. We are all so unique in our styles that is something not everyone thinks of. The diversity of pole. Style swap challenges. Finding your freestyle does some amazing work on turning the focus of pole dance away from the big “wow ” tricks and turns it into a “wow” performance threw movement and flow.
Those are just my thoughts. Even if we did something like a non invert challenge dance. Showing how a routine can still be impressive without inverts. Or getting back to the basics. How can we elongate. Re create. Accentuate basic moves.
Remember your first fireman spin. Or back hook. How awaome that was. We need to share that
So I will let my rant come to an end. That was long. Thanks for this post veena -
This video REALLY explains how I feel, I almost cried! I’m not just saying this because I own the joint but let me add that with SV I don’t feel disconnected, I’m not sure what it is, but I’ve always felt like I really get to know you guys on here. On FB I’ve always felt like it was a contest even among people who are my real friends to get them to see what I’m posting. Sometimes FB leaves me with questions did they see this post, do they care if I’m not posting, maybe they only like me for _____ reason? Why didn’t they “like” this photo, video, comment etc… I don’t know I may just be crazy. lol
Here’s the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7dLU6fk9QY
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Yes, Veena! I love this video….it really speaks volumes.
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Veena that video made me cry!!!!
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I’d like to post a more thoughtful reply, but I’m a bit short on time at the moment.
Everyone who has posted has hit upon lots of great points. I deactivated my Facebook account earlier this year for a variety of reasons, which I could go into at length. I only have a LinkedIn because it’s a professional necessity in my field. When the topic of social media invariably comes up in conversation and I respond that I disabled my account, people are either shocked, think I’m hiding something, or that I was harassed. The reality is, I was tired of the nonsense. I was experiencing the “look at me, look how much better my life is than yours” problem in both my regular social life and within the pole dance community. I really dislike what social media has done to our society, and the way it has affected how we treat one another.
I really appreciate how hard Veena works to keep this community a positive experience for everyone, from total beginner to pro, and most importantly for everyone who is somewhere in the middle. It is not an easy thing to do on the modern internet. I would have given up pole dancing a very long time ago if not for this place. I’ll never be pro level or even advanced level, I don’t have the desire, physical gifts, or nerve. This is the only place where I feel like I can be a casual poler, the same way I am a casual gardener, foodie, reader, writer, hiker, film critic, etc. and not be treated like a second-class citizen. I don’t have a flat split, I sweat too much to want to attempt anything dangerous without a mat, and I have close to zero dance training or stage presence. But I think pole dancing is fun, and here, I feel like that is enough.
I recently read an excellent 2012 book by MIT prof Sherry Turkle. I think everyone should read it and think hard about how much value social media adds to their lives versus what it costs.
http://www.amazon.com/Alone-Together-Expect-Technology-Other/dp/0465031463/If you don’t have time to read the book, the author did a TED talk that covered some of the key points:
http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together
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