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Take care of yourself
So… this is not really pole related, but my heart has been telling me that there is someone reading this who NEEDS to hear this message…
Please… take care of yourself. Get sleep. When you are sick, find a way to take time off. Don’t be superwoman (except on the pole!) Let your adrenaline glands rest.
My mother was (yes, was) the kind of woman who always pushed herself past her limits. She ran on little sleep, and always took care of everyone else. And she died when she was 64 from atherosclerosis (where the blood vessels narrow). We later found out/realized that she had been having symptoms for a long time, but she just sucked it up and was "strong" for everyone. And when she died on Halloween afternoon in 2006, it shocked everyone in my family, and tore us all up. I had talked to her two days before, and she just seemed normal… And then she was dead. If you can’t care for yourself for YOU, do it for your family. It’s hard to describe the magnitude of loss we have experienced…
Tonight, I’m at my in-law’s house because my mother-in-law has had yet another heart attack. She is a woman very much like my own mother… Pushing herself hard, taking care of everyone else… But when she had her massive heart attack several years ago, her husband FORCED her to go to the hospital. So, my daughter knows one grandma… We are all praying she will recover fully from this one. She has already beaten the odds by several years. After her second heart attack, they told her she would die soon… and that was over five years ago. She seems like she’s basically ok after this one, but probably needs a defibrillator.
Learn the lessons of these women… My mother had significant chest/arm/neck pains for years, and just ignored them. She also had bad varicose veins as long as I can remember. Love yourself and your family enough to listen to your body and do something about it. And if you are willing, say what ever kind of "prayer" works for you for my mother-in-law. Her name’s Dana, and my daughter needs her.
Mindy
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8 Replies
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Mindy- I’m so sorry to hear about your mother passing. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_sad.gif I’ll pray for Dana, you and your daughter. I hope she will get better soon and hopefully this will be a wake-up call for her. She is important too! Keep us updated.
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I am very sorry to hear this story! But you have a very good point, I said sort of the same thing in my post about my current health issues, if I had never gotten a pap smear I would probably have the early stages of cervical cancer right now and need a hysterectomy to treat it. Lots of things are preventable or treatable if you take the time to go check them out, my dad is always terrified of going to the doctor but going to the doctor and getting medicine or whatever you need to take care of a problem is way less scary than dying from it! Everyone should take advantage of the technology we have now to detect things very early on so they are treatable, I am a huge advocate of this from personal experience!
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Thank you for this post….I have to agree, as women really do tend to ignore our own needs and even health, to make others in our life happy and healthy. Its not selfish to take care of yourself, eat well, exercise, get your sleep, take time to play with your kids. And if the neighbors come over unannounced and the house isn’t clean…..SO WHAT! Life short.
One thing I’m gonna add…..We all need balance in our lives, but that doesn’t mean EQUAL time for everything at all times, thats not possible!! See…. "balance" both in LIFE and the PHYSICAL act of balance, require slight and constant changes. You can not physically balance by standing perfectly still!! You must make small adjustments…..Sometimes you need to move left, to physically balance….. sometimes your kids need you more than your business needs you, for lifestyle balance…..being aware of the flow of change will help you both in your life’s balance and your physical balance on the pole! Cool huh? https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_geek.gif
Mindy- I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. Sending your mother-in-law, healing vibs!! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheers.gif Thank you again for this post!
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Mindy I’m really sorry about your mother, and also your mother in law. I think it’s definitely true…I know so many women (my mother included) who work themselves to the bone for everyone else in their lives…and its so important to be abkle to value yourself and your own health too.
Veena I love what you said about balance. Thats such an awesome way to see it, I always get stressed out that theres not enough time for me to do spend equal time everything I feel I need to do all the time…therefore this must mean im not a balanced person. Small adjustments…very cool. I am going to apply this to my life.Mindy thank you for sharing and I hope we all start to take better care of ourselves, whether that be getting checked out, or taking more time for ourselves to really listen to what our bodies are telling us. I will say a prayer for your mother in law.
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thank you for the reminder! Sometimes I need to be reminded.
I want to say I am sorry for your loss of your mom and you MIL not feeling great. As a mom, I know first hand what its like to push yourself hardcore to help everyone out. Its in our nature, we give to everyone and dont take anything for us. Ill admit, I run on little sleep between getting to the office at 6am, getting my kids and being mom for a few hours, then off to pole or gym for an hour and attempt to give my husband some attention. Then on top of that doing the household chores.
If you can get help – even if its for an hour -TAKE IT! Even if someone takes your kids to the play area for you to get some rest, its going to be worth it!
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I just wanted to post a quick update. My MIL will be released from the hospital today. We’re all really excited. This was her 4th heart attack, so I’m surprised she’s doing so well. I KNOW the prayers/thoughts have helped. We don’t know how things will play out, but at least she’s through this crisis.
I should also add a little bit more of "the rest of the story". Her first heart attack was 14 yrs ago, and she had a triple bypass. According to what the doctors told her, she should have been dead years ago, but she’s still with us and going strong. That’s because she really woke up after the first one and HAS been very careful about taking care of herself. So, just remember… as long as you are still alive, it’s never to late to start!
One other BIG lesson for me… Losing my mom so suddenly has burned into my heart the need to appreciate the folks that I love.
Give someone close to you a hug today and let them know you care. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheers.gif There’s no guarantee on tomorrow.Mindy
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I’m sorry about your mom. I feel like so many people are compelled to keep on going and it just isn’t right. I know I’m guilty of being a bit stubborn myself sometimes but hospitals are there for a reason. I wish my FIL (father-in-law) could hear my hubby’s pleas… the guy had a QUADRUPLE by-pass seven years ago and he didn’t bother changing his diet. Now he’s going back under the knife. I just think when you hear people saying "I had a by-pass" that is serious business but QUADRUPLE?!?! You’d think a person would be so grateful and try to take care of things. He owns his own business so I’m sure things are stressful but I agree people need a breather now and again. Which is why I’m staying in Germany. I have noticed such a difference in lifestyle here… people eat slowly and enjoy their meals, 3-4 weeks vacay is the norm, and people travel and get away from the day-to-day grind. I think the US needs a vacay reform or something.
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I know this thread is a little old, but I’d like to add a couple of things…
My father in law was having breathing problems a while back…probably about a year and a half ago? He went to the doctor, who prescribed him drugs and told him it was a lung infection. The issue never got better, and so he waited over a month to get in to see a lung specialist. What did the specialist do? Took his blood pressure! He was immediately sent to the hospital, specialist not required. His blood pressure was so high that his heart literally was shunting fluid into his lungs to handle the load. He could have had an attack at any moment.
Since then, he’s changed his life. Stopped smoking and drinking coffee, started a G.I. Diet (a Glycemic index diet, which I am still meaning to look into) and discontinued going to work for a year or so. This man had been working, no breaks or vacations, for a very long time. He was the classic "father" figure, work all the time, stern and strong. He never gave any sign that he had problems.
While, yes, I totally think that first doctor should have hanged for the fact that he didn’t check the blood pressure of an overweight smoking man in his early 50’s, I also think the shock did him some good. His life is balanced, and honestly…he and his wife (my mother in law) look great! They’ve lost lots of weight, are eating healthy and feeling no ill-effects (like being hungry or grumpy all the time) and they are gaining a greater relationship by walking every day together. I’m amazed by their change, and it’s been a long time for me to realize the need for my own change.Personally, I’m in school (university) and take the bus every day to get there. I work (sorta) on the days I’m not in school, and aren’t the weekend. Again, the bus gets me there. I’ve noticed a huge drop in my ability to take care of myself. With homework constantly looming, the driving need to actually SEE my husband, let alone see other people and have a life outside of schooling, and the bus (I wake up at 6am to get the bus to school for an 8:30 class, FYI), I’ve found a distinct lack of time for food. Seriously! I’ve stopped eating breakfast, often don’t eat lunch and have a nap instead, and barely have time to scarf down some food before I run off to evening class! My sleep’s degraded, insomnia is plaguing me, and migranes are getting worse! And what with my constant feeling of tiredness, I barely dance anymore, too!
So, balance is the key here. I need to start taking care of myself, because I’m finding myself hitting the wall all the time. Everything in my life is suffering from a severe imbalance. Breakfast, first of all, is very important…and don’t let anyone tell you different! I’ve tried substituting breakfast with hot chocolate…I’m lactose sensitive, so it takes a while for my body to digest the lactose in hot chocolate. It feels like I’m fine…when really I’m starving. Mostly, this is why I sleep so much. I have so little energy!So, there you have it. I confess, I’m not taking care of myself! I’ve decided that this week (my reading break) I’m getting up in the morning (No more seeing 10-12 o’ clock on the clock before I get out of bed!) and eating food! I’m gonna dance and get my homework done the way it should be. I’m actually scheduling my time, making goals for the day…I’ve never done it before!
So, if anyone has pointers, they’re always welcome! That aside…perhaps I’ll later make a thread and tell you all how it’s going. https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_salut.gif
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