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The other side of “midlife”
I went to the doctor the other day for a bad knee. Thought I’d have it checked out because it pains me at times and I definitely modify stair climbing and a real lunge is not going to happen on that side. The bottom line is that he said my knee was really messed up and I would have to have a knee replacement. In my mind I was like – that’s for old people! The doctor said my high impact activities would be over. I walked out determined to continue as if I never had the appt. you see I have always been a “work horse”. It has been nothing to me to do three consecutive zumba classes at high intensity because for me there is no other way to do zumba! I am the woman who scurried up the pole and did Russian lay backs without a second thought. I am pretty fearless. BUT since the appt, my knee hurts more than ever, I swear the dr. broke something in there, and I just feel OLD. Between the horrific hot flashes and this knee thing, for the first time I am feeling like all my HIGHs are behind me. It is a devastating feeling as I have always kept marching through anything and soon I may not be able to dance :(. I know I should be grateful for all that I have and I try to tell myself that the less active life might not be so bad but it is hard. I guess this is what they call the midlife crisis. My grandmother drove and lived by herself until she was 98 so I never thought I would be slowing down in my fifties. Anyway- thanks for giving me a forum to vent.
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12 Replies
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Remember doctors are there to fix, so if you go in their solution will often be surgery, medication or advice like just stop doing that. They don’t really work in prevention or even physical therapy unless you as to see a specialist.
I know sometimes surgery is the only option but have you tired adjusting your zumba schedule? Not taking classes so often or waiting to start class again until you have focused on strengthening the body over all. Speaking of, have you focus on strength and flexibility for the lower body, or better yet the whole body? Often pain in one area is part of a larger picture so if we focus on posture and strengthening the core, shoulders, and even working on proper pelvic placement can change things greatly.
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You have my sympathies with all of this – in 2009 I was diagnosed with Degenerative Disc Disorder, and the Consultant I saw tried to make me feel better by saying ‘it’s very common in Women of your age’ oh man, I’m not a violent Lady however if I had had pole strength back then… 😉 anyways, prior to diagnosis I was doing lots of high impact work at the gym, forgetting about the core which all came to a head after a car accident Compounded the damage I had been doing to my spine (I couldnt walk more than a few steps for 6 months without a cane) as Veena has recommended for you to consider, I had to rethink my fitness schedule completely. I bought a pilates reformer which has a trampoline at one end for low impact cardio (aero pilates) and quit the high impact classes. I never thought I would walk without a cane again if I’m honest, however with hard work and determination I built my core strength up and got better slowly – will never be able to go back to high impact again, however pilates and pole gives me the core strength ….
So, what I’m trying to say in a long winded way, is if it’s hurting, my advice would be to stop and rethink things before you get into the state I did by ignoring aches, pains and twinges – our bodies are amazing and have a way of making sure we listen to them in the end … I’ve since retrained as a Remedial Massage Therapist, incorporating Reflexology & Aromatherapy so it’s my job to help people who are heading down the same road as I did (extremely rewarding) I would also suggest that you try Reflexology as it’s amazing at helping the body heal from the inside out, including joints and bones 😊 hope that helps and you feel better soon, Kate x
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What’s the diagnosis? Try a STOTT certified pilates studio, with someone who has rehab experience. It depends on what is wrong with the knee. At any rate, strengthening all the muscles surrounding the knee will help keep the leg strong and prepare for a surgery if needed. The recovery will be easier if you have to take this route. If no surgery is needed, pilates can help with alignment issues and sometimes reverse the problem. Hope this is helpful. I am 44 myself and most of my clients are 50 plus. Unfortunately, we need to adjust our workouts as we age, particularly with high impact activities. 🙁
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Get a second, third, and even fourth opinion. It may very well be that you just need to slow down, realign, and not “scurry” into things like you have in the past. (PS that is the most wonderful descriptor for climbing a pole I’ve ever heard. Def brought to mind a Chinese style climb). It also may be something else more systemic. You said your in your 50s? Not to get to personal, but could it be related to menopause? Menopause is known to cause SEVERE joint pain in some women. Not sure if it’s officially medically documented, but I’ve talked to plenty of women who have experienced it. Fortunately menopause doesn’t last forever, so if that is the case you may just have to ride it out. I’ve known several women who have gotten relief from joint pain by taking turmeric (bonus, it’s also good for hot flashes!) But I would definitely get more opinions before you accept what this doctor tells you, including possibly physical therapy or another wellness based healthcare practitioner. It’s so tough to be in pain all the time, I hope you find some relief soon
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I also sign on to what the ladies above say about Pilates. Without Pilates I would not be a functioning human being. It’s what got me out of debilitating hip pain, and still gets me out of it if in faithful with it 😉
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Thank you Ladies. I knew I came to the right place. As far as the diagnosis, well I went in with just some pain but nothing that was unbearable or unmanageable – it was more of a weight bearing issue than a pain issue so I really wasn’t prepared to hear anything like knee replacement. Once he said it I went into complete denial so I don’t know if he said a specific diagnosis. He definitely said it is bone on bone and patella in wrong spot. I actually liked this doctor – I just wasn’t emotionally ready to deal with it. He did not recommend PT because he said i was already doing the type of exercises to strengthen around the knee and he even said the pole was good for my core. He gave the option of some kind of shot (not cortisone) but I refused it. He did not say I have to get the surgery now but that my knee would continue to get worse and I should prepare for it in the next year. I love high energy anything- in the past, I would have never considered yoga or stretching. In fact, the one yoga class I took, I was chastised for talking to my neighbor and the robotic voice of the instructor was nerve racking. HOWEVER I am going to give it another shot and take it as a challenge to change my attitude and believe in the benefits of slow pace exercise. I am desperate regarding the hot flashes and willing to try anything. Thanks for the turmeric suggestion – I am going to get some today. Thanks again for your advice and I am trying to gain some perspective on what is to be my “new normal”.
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Bone on bone unfortunately means eventual surgery in my experience with clients. However, I still highly recommend Pilates in preparation. You want to keep your Quads strong, particularly the VMO. Core work will help you even more. The good news is that a knee replacement surgery is relatively “easy” these days, and being young, healthy and fit will make for a speedier recovery. Shots buy you some time and are a temporary fix. I’ve worked with post op knee rehabilitation and the results are amazing. No more pan, full range of motion!
Hot Flashes suck. The only other thing I’ve heard women doing is bio identical hormones. I haven’t explored this, but will be soon since I am also experiencing big time night sweats. Exploring the natural remedies might help too!
Best of luck!!!!!!!!! Lmk what you find out!
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Hey there!
I just want to give some perspective on chronic pain, as well.
You said you’re “feeling old,” and I completely understand. I’m not yet 30, but because I’ve been through a lot of chronic pain (my knees since I was 14, in fact), I know that dealing with this can really make you feel… well, old!
So, given that you’re in a lot of pain, yes, you’re going to feel like you need to slow down, that you’re maybe useless or unable. Having a knee injury is really difficult, because it hinders a lot of movement!
So, the best thing I can recommend is taking into account your own self-care. Yes, regular and sometimes vigorous exercise can feel great, and help keep you feeling great! But, unfortunately when it comes to injury, this may not be the best self-care for you in the way that it has been.
Treat yourself to leisurely walks, go out to dinner. Read books you like, and have a bath. Take care of yourself! Sometimes when we’re in pain it can feel like everything sucks, that nothing will ever get better… that, perhaps, we can no longer feel as strong or as happy as we used to. But, it’s not true! Having hobbies that don’t necessarily require you to move around so much can be just as rewarding.
I’m not suggesting you take up knitting, though 😉 Find something you love! Pick up an electric guitar and an amp, and get some lessons. Bake super lots of tasty things! Draw 🙂
There are lots of things out there that can help you feel accomplished without putting strain on your body, and can help keep your spirits up while you deal with these issues.This can be an excellent time of exploration and growth. Change doesn’t always have to be bad 🙂
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I might also add that Vitamin E helps me tremendously with hot flashes. I take 1000 iu per day. I’m with you on knee inessential up knees. My 49 year old body is working through its own issues right now, as well.
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*on messed up knees…
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Good to know I’m not alone in this. I’ve been through some injuries myself 🙁 Wish you the best!
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@MD5677 I’m 46 and have nothing as serious going on as you do, but I totally hear ya. I have always been a work horse too. I used to be the person who could sit on the couch for two years and someone would say, “hey do you want to go ski Whistler?” and off I would go and do fine, no injuries, no problems. That has changed in the last few years. I have lots of relatively minor aches and pains that I never had before and have to be much more careful and do things differently now. I could probably still go full tilt now but I want to be able to move in my 60s, 70s and beyond so I am cautious–a word I don’t even like to use. I warm up now before activity–something I never really bothered with. Lots of little changes in the way I move and how I approach things. I do not like any of these changes but I consider it the safest way to stay active as long as possible. It doesn’t stop me from much. I pole, do silks, a little trapeze, a little rock climbing, obstacle course race now and then. There’s not much I wouldn’t do but I do it differently, just more carefully. You’re not alone. Guess we have to do the best with what we have and I echo the others regarding seeking alternatives. I currently see a physical therapist for M.A.T (muscle activation technique) to treat my many little aches and pains. Poor guy–I’m wearing him out. 🙂 Hang in there.
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