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Vulnerability, melancholy, sadness: Different expressions in dance
Hey guys!
I’m having a real problem here: I’ve just found my style, my soul, in pole dance. I’m a very strong, confident woman because of my position at work. I’m a leader of 12 men and 2 women, and I need to be a rock and a mother most of the time.Dancing is my personal time to express my sadness, vulnerability, melancholy, and it’s pretty much the opposite of what most pole professors and dancers usually do. My professor and my best pole friend are divas: sexy, sensual, powerful, goddesses. As much as I love doing this on the pole, my REAL deal is sadness.
As they say: “Why do you dance as if your heart is breaking?”
And I really do. I love dancing as if I were broken and sad. And that usually leaves me euphoric and happy afterwards. Weird, right?
Welp… I came here really looking for a partner, a friend, someone who understands and might want to share their stories and experiences and videos and ideas with me…
I really want a choreography but my instructor just can’t capture it and so I’m trying to do it myself with her help for the technical stuff and poses.I’ve been rambling here but anyway, I hope to see some responses.
Am I alone in my melancholic pole dancing?
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7 Replies
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Dear Capeleto,
Welcome to the site!! I do not think that you’re alone in that sense! I personally think that some of the best dancers are ones that express the sad, melancholy dance that you’re speaking of. Yes, it’s nice to be sexy and sensual and dance, but there’s something to be said and to be felt when a dancer is dancing from the heart and expressing emotions that they otherwise wouldn’t or don’t.I just started to dance, but I’ve found that my soul wants to dance both in a sensual and emotional way. I do mainly freestyles. I do that because I just allow myself to feel while I dance. Sometimes I feel happy and eager and other times I express heartache and more heartfelt emotion when I dance. It just depends on the mood really.
I think when you dance and you let yourself feel things that is otherwise closed off, it feels good to let go of that when dancing. You don’t have to hold on to those feelings or thoughts anymore because you get to dance them all out. I can see how you’d feel euphoric and happy after that.
Again, I don’t think you’re alone here and I think you’ll find a lot of dancers who can relate to you.
-Milla -
Hello Capeleto!
I too find my niche is something slower and more expressive. The head rolls, booty shaking and hair flicks have their place but don’t always fit the songs I like and the way I dance.
I have found lots of inspiration in the Pole Art videos from Helsinki for making my own choreography in this style. You should check them out! -
Hello! I’m only a returning intermediate but I love the slow flow balletic style and am currently working on spinny pole choreo to a lyrical piano piece which I hope will be tidy enough to upload soon. I get most excited by emotional content and honesty in dance and accessing the painful, heartfelt lyrical range is often more moving and engaging (to me) than the sassy, sensual performance style – though I’m in awe of those who can grind and pop with charisma!
There is something fabulously subversive about taking a dance style associated traditionally with Look At Me Being SEXY and making it about other stuff. Pain. Rage. Melancholy. Doubt. Etc.
Then again I love classical ballet that is all about raging passion and desire! Mix it up I say lol.
So anyway welcome and I look forward to seeing your work 🙂
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I’m a big fan of the ‘aesthetics of sadness’! I’m a painter & people have questioned me a lot as to why the people I paint are not smiling more often. There’s such a huge range of experience between a smile & a frown. Personally most of the stories, music, films I appreciate bend toward the melancholic side. If you check out my videos you’ll hear it in my music choices.
The way I’ve looked at it in the past is…I don’t really need to ‘do’ anything with the happy stuff. It’s the co
nfusions, pains, worries (as you said vulnerabilities) that aren’t as easy to process. It also helps us
to see everything as more integrated…when we can see beauty in the darker aspects of being it helps us embrace living more fully. -
I totally feel the same way – it seems the more heart wrenching, super emotional, expressive, painful, sad, lonely, dealing with loss-nes the song has the more I dig it. It just allows me dive deeply within myself and release something that’s indescribable – it’s like pieces of my past, my present, my future, my fears, pains, loves, joys and pieces that don’t even feel like me surface up and I get to hone my articulation through my body while exhausting myself physically and mentally while being immersed in this feeling or state of being… hard to describe but I know you know 🙂
Dance is a very spiritual thing for me. It’s something I need and if I don’t get it I get a little cranky… I compare it to great sex lol The world is just right for a while afterwords 😉
Happy Melancholic Dancing! -
WOW! Girls!
Thank you so much for your responses! I confess I wasn’t expecting such a warm welcoming (specially because my pole friends and teachers don’t really get what I’m saying) but I’m blown away by what you’ve told me.It’s wonderful to see that I’m not alone in this. I find it pretty hard to even look for videos on youtube so I appreciate any suggestions (I’ll definitely check out the pole art helsinki videos, Melt, thanks!)
I’m gonna go ahead and share some of my song choices and I’d really like to get to know you better by hearing some of your songs!
My first choreography ever was to Closer by Kings of Leon, which is widely considered a sexy song (it kinda is), but for me, lyrically, it’s heartbreaking. I tried to get inspiration from the idea of a vampire awakening after aeons of time, to find out that the woman he loved had died and he had the burden of immortality to live without her… Pretty sad.I’m currently trying to dance to Do I wanna know, by the Arctic Monkeys. Again, super sexy song, but also about obssession, craving, begging, chasing after someone and, mostly, wondering if that person wants you back (and not being sure if you REALLY wanna know the answer). I’m trying to express myself with rage, desire and helplessness at the same time.
My other favorite songs to freestyle to are Breezeblocks by Alt+J (also about obssession), Elephant Gun by Beirut (very circus-y, but also kinda sad…?), The last remaining light, by Audioslave, and Flightless bird american mouth by Iron&Wine.
What are your tunes?
I’ll try and share a video of one of my freestyling sessions with you, hope to see you girls dancing as well!
PS: Do I see a trend? You melancholy folks with all these black and white profile pictures? LOL!
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Hi ! I dont think you are alone. I am very similar. I like to dance to very sad and slow pieces. Some ask me the same thing.Why my dance is so sad. I think its the only way where I can tell what I feel. My life was allways a real mess and I think its how my dancing is (not the mess, but very sad and dramatic). I am sure, our life experience is the base we use for the dance expression. I also try to express different things, cause I dont want to be recognized on the lyrical basis only – so I try to express different styles. I use mostly lyrical songs with voice, most come from fantasy world or some lyrical songs about love. But also very dramatic pieces like *battle* movie music. Seems pathetic haha but it is not 🙂
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