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feeling blue…
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I understand the pain thing with the tattoos. My daughter is a cutter and I don't really understand it but I accept it. She seems to have begun understanding the triggers for her…. to me it seems like when things or people or hurting her it's kind of her way of control. She is getting more away from it and leaning more towards the art of tattoo's but she is extreme in that as well. We all need what need till we find a better way. Your not alone
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Raise hour hand if u DONT have depression…
i find it helps to realise that everyone – everyone- has depression and anxiety at times. you are not alone and nothing is wrong with you.
i feel that people who are happy all the time are the ones in need of therapy. if a person doesnt experience all emotions–is that a person? being human means feeling: pain, happiness, joy, exhaltation, weakness, fear, hopelessness, euphoria, numbness, anxiety, etc. etc etc.
stay strong
get on ur pole
and take comfort in knowing:
“this too shall pass” -
To Madison,I really understand the pain cravings.Something triggers me and I immediately look for a knife.It’s like a manic,panic,craving…..I start imagining the pain and the blood.A good way to stop yourself is think about what you would cut if you did.Because of the scarring potential I pick the first letter of how I’m feeling.Then I pick a synonym.I find a hidden spot,sterilize the spot and the knife then only cut the initial lightly.Picking at it then burning it shut with a lightbulb.This is only when you really need to.I have only left 3 noticable scars.An A on my chest,(scarlet letter)an s on my wrist(my lovers name)and an L.If you haven’t lost all taste for cutting,read on.As a child,and still today I memorize every scar on a person’s body and ask how it got there.Cutting and tattoos seriously lower your chances of being hired,and increase the chance of being fired.Idiot police think you tried to commit suicide…and the first time my lover saw my cutting marks he cried.When I admitted to craving pain,but not being able to risk the scars…..then when I just scratched up my arm after something awful happened he was wide eyed and made me promise to quit.I have.Turn on music like Kelly Clarkson’s hazel eyes full blast and work out.A great way to get rid of pain is to turn it into anger.Anger motivates you and you can work it off,and burn it out.Then go to sleep.Wake up. Drink cofee(there’s science behind that)turn on music and get on the pole!!!You have one.
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Roadtrip to Florida for hugs. I understand pain desire. Sometimes I can deal with it other times I release and do various things. I never cut before. Do you have a friend in the piercing business? That could help? Non permanent.
I have major SAD (seasonal affective disorder) it’s weird how so many people make it illegitimate.
I’m looking into getting medical insurance with mental care because I’m tired of being ‘imbalanced’ -
JhennD,
I never had any depression until I moved from So Cal to Arkansas. I live in a beautiful area but it is heavy with trees that block the sun, stormy and overcast quite a bit. Then there are the Seasons which I am not used to. Winter, ice and snow came and this California girl found herself blue, tired, melancholia, and had no idea what was wrong with me. It is called SAD. It is very real. I also expeience aches and pains now when the Barmetric pressure changes and storms are coming. I never experienced that in So Cal. People underestimate how the elements can effect us. Fall is starting here so I get out and walk a ton and sit in the sun everyday. I take D3 and Fish Oil and that seems to help.
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I haven’t cit in yrs…I have found some other outlets, I do have piercings and am finding some comfort in ,well not quite sure how ti say it or if its appropriate…I have always shown interest in pain/pleasure during sex…but has grown more into if…last night I couldn’t get enough pain, my husband obliges and if it turned me onhe gets into it,but was afraid of hurting me because I have never been that vocal and demanding of wanting and needing more…I m at the Dr now,he made an emergency appt to see me.
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@ – I have to use UV beds when it rains and under 68*F AND also when it's under 65*F. I was thinking about buying a red light/blue light for light therapy but I discovered 'tanning' beds.
At work when the AC is so low, I can't body temperature regulate so I start getting mini migraine symptoms (dizziness, blindness, auditory hallucinations, and nauseam). I know I literally would not be able to live in colder climates. My despression comes for psychological and physiological disfunction. I had to go to the doctors for constant migraines and then breaking down with symptoms occur- he hypothesized SAD could be it. And we agreed for a hollistic approach, I want some medicinal support as well, it was so hard.
@MadisonsWorld- I can say, I too with the sexual encounters and partner of 10 yrs who is now my bf after discussion of limits is kinda weirded out about his boundaries on that. I say partner because I was in relationships with others that could satisfy parts of what I need/want/desired. Not everyone is fortunate with an open lifestyle and it boiled down I wanted traditionalism more than some other needs met.
Bests to you, if you don't think this area of sexual gratification is a concern, I agree and so many others do too (find a sex therapist for both your husband and you to talk in a safe place with) But ultimate issue of the post was depression, again the bests to you. Like to hear resolution of appt or Tx.
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Wow, so much to respond to….
1) If you think you might be having SAD, getting a full sprectrum light really helps. I moved from the US to Canada at one point, and struggled with this for a few years.
2) I'm glad you've made it to the therapist. Everyone is different, but maybe you should consider trying medication (if you haven't already). I have some kind of non-diagnosable mood disorder, and medication really changed my life for the better. If you want to know more, send me a private message and we can talk.
3) I totally understand the urge to self-harm, whether it's by cutting, or something else. My thoughts tend to go to suicide, and in fact I'm a survivor. I think that getting a tattoo is actually a great way to deal with the need for pain, as long as the tattoo is something you've thought over and will be happy with later. As for other instances of wanting to self-harm, when you get the urge, try to wait a few minutes and see if the feeling diminishes. Sometimes that's all it takes. Also, someone said something about self-cutting with a lightbulb. Please NEVER do this, as some lightbulbs can have toxic chemicals inside them, which would then get into your blood. A scar is skin deep; cancer can kill you.
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@jhenn…yes I know the post was Abt depression,which causes me to get the urge to seek pain….I have turned that urge instead of causing self harm have turned to sexual gratification…
I really appreciate everyone comments…
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Madisonsworld, I know you have probably had this done but have you had your thyroid, blood sugar, insulin and adrenal function tested? That is something the US Medical field does not always do. If you are unbalanced in those areas if can cause depression and anxiety. Just something to look at. Any hormone out of balance can cause mood swings. So glad you reached out and started this discussion. It is not talked about enough. When you get a group of intelligent creative people together the conversation gets real !!!
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I have had my levels che ked and everything came back normal…unfortunately, I have a family history of mental illness…this is something I have dealt with since I was 15,or that was when I had my first,episode but at the time didn’t know what was going on..it wasn’t until yrs later I understand what was..agree that depression is k
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Sorry cut me off…but I do feel depression is not addressed enough…it is almost a taboo to some..they either don’t know the signs or don’t want to admit to themselves something is wrong…I am very open about everything that has happened inmy life and that surprises a lot of people..I am not ashamed of of my past,altho I may not have over come every thing…which I am going to try again in therapy…I have to say having such an awesome husband who has never judged me despite my past and issues, loves me unconditionally…I question sometimes how he does it, he just says he loves me …
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