Uh oh! Well, if you used a permenant dye, it stripped your hair of color and deposited new color in its place. To go lighter, you have to remove those color pigments, which will leave your hair in a pretty much non-pigment state AKA orangey red hair. This requires a color remover, not just bleaching or a new box of whatever blonde you want. After taking the color out, then, you can bleach the crap out of it, risking damage and linen texture hair, but it will do the job. Protein fillers and deep conditioners will help along your journey.
I know you don't want to go to a salon, but they'd really be better on your hair and more able to assist. If you do your color lift wrong, and leave your hair very pourous, and use a box dye of say "Medium Ashe Blonde" your hair will go right back to a grey brown.
Just go to a salon if at all possible. You REALLY don't wanna do this at home. I did this a few times actually, going up and down the color scale. I'm pretty good at coloring, but it got to a point, it was unmanageable, and wouldn't hold any color, just a washed out strawberry blonde. I cut it Jamie Lee Curtis short and started over. My hair is a dark brown now, and I'm examining my options. I want to go back to my bright orange, but I know what it would take for my hair to do that. I'm tempted to go reeeeeally short again and let my natural hair out for the first time since I was 12. I'm also tempted to just keep letting it grow, roots and all, and see if the sun will eventually even out and blend the line for me, enough so I don't have to get rid of the length. I might WANT to get rid of the length. I just don't know what to do with mine LOL!