new body plan :)

Stefana of Light started this discussion · 6/16/2015

This time I will follow the rules, before I just couldn't control myself and I danced and danced. Sure I'd rest for a few days but then back to dance. Not enough rest. But this last year of slowing down mentally and physically, incorporating yoga and ditching an extreme caffeine habit has really helped mes we what's going on. So I decided this time 💜I💜 am most important. Not the hobby. I'm going to leave my pole up because I know now I have the strength to make the right decisions! I can still dance, no inverting however.. That seemed so limiting before, like... What?!?! No inverting?!?! But I see now inverting is just inverting. Not the end of my pole days. I may never invert again at this point that's the way I'm seeing it. I had disloctaed ribs the first year and a half from inverting and not engaging properly, should I say - not prepping my body for inverts is most likely what caused that. and now I have limited range of movement in my shoulders and neck and my g. Maximus is a gnarly mess, my pelvis is tilted making one leg 1/4 longer (I was just adjusted by my chiro yesterday) those are just the issues to start ... Tight everything. So ya. Here's to this new chapter of My body getting what it deserves and the mind not standing In The way but coming along joyfully. I'm actually excited to take the time to heal. That's a first. Usually it's like .. Are We there yet ?!??! So my pt sent me home with a book he made called spine stabilization and postural alignment. It has relaxation techniques for spasm, stretches for the whole bod, and strengthening techniques as well. So I think I will incorporate a massage or two with this therapy as well as the acupressure mat that I have but have never used regularly (mostly just for an energy boost;) well. If you lovely Veeners have any suggestions or words for me I'd greatly aappreciate. Have a beautiful day SV

21 replies

Tamarinda · 6/16/2015
ALL THAT FROM INVERTING???? You need to tell your story because I feel like many people think that's a myth. I knew your were injured, but I didn't understand from inverting. Despite that, you seem to be strong minded and positive. Hopefully you can tell your story because it's so human nature of us to want to over train or do things so fast! Maybe you will be able to invert one day but your set back will have helped someone else to stop and think. You're flow will be amazing though, well it already is. Hopefully you find happiness and release with dance. :)
Stefana of Light · 6/16/2015
I can't say all that was from Inverting because honestly when I started pole I was pretty disconnected from my body and soul. The mind ran the show back then. And ego. Wow. Anyhow. I can say I never took the time to strengthen evenly or properly , stretch or rest. This last year I have been shedding these life illusions thereby accepting what I can and won't do. In my mind inverting is what cause me to do all sorts of weird things body mechanic wise because I've never focused on my posture or balance until the end of last year, when I fell in live with the gentleness and spiritual experience I found In yoga. I started to learn myself all over again, si ikar to what happened when I found pole. Just a whole different chapter. I've never been one to follow the rules ;) however I know now that wasn't me wanting to rebel it was my poor decision making skills that were impacted hugely by a life long anxiety issue. So my connection To breath is healing, just in itself. my go big or go home attitude leaves me drained and at this point I don't want the extreme highs that are followed by extreme or even a moderate low. I know my dance lives inside me always. Stress, guilt, anxiety, insecurity, safety.. All this stuff was a mixture of where my mind use to live. Pole helped me realize I am strong. I am worthy. I am alive. Just by spending time alone with me I have rediscovered who I've always been. Every time I go to the pole or mat and I connect with my breath I walk away a lighter purer being. Thanks for taking the time to chat:) pole is serious. That's been my message to women I meet. Pole is empowering. But the real power comes from within, not the muscles :)
Stefana of Light · 6/16/2015
I suppose I should include this here with this post :) I am hypermobile and have had horrid slouching posture my whole life. Those things have played a part here mostly the crap posture. But I'm slowly gaining and soaking up tools now that I'm not being so stubborn !
Tamarinda · 6/16/2015
The dreaded ego! It's so hard to control. In strength training when someone lifts beyond their means and he injures himself they call it ego lifting lol. In yoga when we stretch to a point of injury they say it's ego stretching. I'm unhappy with my pole strength lately and have gotten a bit bored of pole and decided to begin strength training to get better for pole and feel good about it again. The environment is so competitive, and... Toxic. It promotes self hatred in a way. Many of those people have hurt backs and injuries. They don't build as fast as they want and they begin injecting steroids from God knows where so they can be like their idols. They bulk and cut aka overeat then starve. They pick at every body part and they pick at each other. I've begun to feel sorry for men and I've realized they face body pressure as women do too. Sorry for my little off topic thing but I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I hope you're not too hard on yourself because you are injured. It's such a natural human reaction and anyone in any sport or hobby feels pressure to be the best or be so excited that we forget to rest. I hope you have peace mentally and physically and find the safe space you are looking for :) I hope you find your point of happiness in just being!!! I know I'm looking for it too :D Such a hard thing to accomplish lol. I hope you can safely and peacefully get back to where you would like one day and this is just a detour that benefits you in the end and happened for a reason :D
Stefana of Light · 6/16/2015
You're very kind. Honestly the place I want to be, I am realizing everyday, is always right here. I meditate regularly and use breath techniques to help dissipate my thoughts emotions etc. I have been reading the Power of Now this last year and have been doing a lot of work with the "pain body" So there's a huge thing there that happens when We realize we are not our pain thoughts etc. Only a manifestation of the mind. I have been doing some chakra work this last year as well. I had a very small understanding of the world of energy when I had my first session. I've always lived by the golden rule , and the laws of attraction. it absolutely is true. Since then I have been shown many things that I believe were given to me at the appropriate time as to not bog me down, the universe is kind like that. Most of my realizations are concerning the body. The vessel that has been shamed since the beginning of time and I believe we all carry that burden, In Some way. So when I go inward I can connect with what I need even if I don't have a aware realization, things still resonate and when we let go completely the body has time to change. Integrate the new and shed some of the old. Intention also is key. So many parts of life that filter through In everything we do . These of course are just my limited experiences and opinions. Thank you again for sharing with me :)
Sabina Rex · 6/16/2015
Damn girl! I also tore my latissimus doing aerial inverts perhaps a bit soon and it was terrible but it healed in about a month and a half...or maybe just a month i dont remember but i could invert again. Your injuries sound worse than mine and Im not a doctor but im hoping and thinking youll be able to invert again too even if it is several months from now. (Ive had worse injuries doing other things and i thought i might never be able to do them again but they always healed.) Learn the kneepit hold and cupid while you cant invert. Thats what i learned when i couldnt invert and i had a lot of fun with it.
Stefana of Light · 6/16/2015
You are very right. Me saying I may never was just being real to the fullest, I suppose I've always rushed things so this time I just want them to be, however that may be ! I have full faith that I can heal.. I am the ruler of my world -that can be an exciting and scary thing depending on choices of course! And yes DAMN is appropriate;) thanks for your kindness✌
Veena · 6/16/2015
I'm mentioning this because you asked for suggestions....Have you finished the 30 day take off program and 30 day flexibility program yet? It's very much about preparing the body and mind for pole and teaching the importance of listening to your body. I know you have had the lessons in the past but I'm not sure how far you have gotten in them or how you used them so I thought I may be worth a mention. It's always great when someone other than myself (as it comes across as your mom telling you to wear a coat in the winter) lol mentions that inverts are not the be all and end all of pole, so while I feel for you and never want to see anyone in pain, the fact that you have brought this up is a good thing!
Stefana of Light · 6/16/2015
No and no. That's why I suppose I'm mentioning a few of my situational add ons becaus I feel like my anxiety and ego kept me from sticking to the plan. Ya know!? Just wanted that release from dance. But I am paying for it no doubt. Funny you mention this because this morning I was thinking to myself ... Veena taught me so many great techniqes and little things to remember , but I never followed through in a routine or balanced way. Who am I kidding balance and I are far from friends. Everyday more an more though! I am thankful for this space you provide as well It has been a family of friends who pretty much kick ass! So when I am cleared by my pt to start training again,(I'm thinking somewhere in the next 3 to 6 months) I no doubt will be getting your lessons again. I really enjoyed them when I had them I just didn't use them to my benefit however I learned a ton at the same time. Your scapula \ posture tips are coming back to haunt me now, wish I wish I wish I woulda;) sometimes we have to learn the hard way to get the point. Guess I'm one of those! Thanks Veena for your support:)
AllysonKendal · 6/17/2015
Shoog, you are really inspiring... I'm happy you're sharing your story and your commitment to yourself. Listening to your body is so important. It's very easy to get caught up in this whirlwind pushing you to progress faster than you're ready for. Sometimes a step back is exactly what you need for perspective. I think anyone who has seen you dance would agree that you never need to invert, heck, you don't even need a pole... You still bring this incredible movement! Loving and healing vibes your way.
I polekat I · 6/17/2015
i love reading your posts shoog, as allyson said you are very inspiring. It takes a brave soul to stand up to yourself and admit when something is not working; especially if that thing is something you love..! and pole is one of those things where we can often be our own worst enemy - pushing ourselves to achieve more and more, maybe quicker than is sensible... it is hard to silence that voice that says 'no pain no gain! if i push through this it will be better afterwards! Pain is a reward for hard work!' and while i find that voice of encouragement is often very helpful, it can overshadow the voice that says 'but actually.....i am not happy. this is hurting not helping, and i don't think this is good for me...' i often feel out of kilter with my body and muscles and so find it difficult to differentiate between when i am just being lazy and a kick up the bum is exactly what i need, and when i reeeally need some downtime and shouldn't push through my aches and pain.... The only way to really know is to be in tune with our bodies; i think you are right that yoga and breath are the keys to unlocking this connection. i do feel i am becoming more self aware as i am becoming stronger and more flexible.. but i find the more i am physically able to do, the more I want to push push on and do more! i do like to use pole as therapy to release emotions, but that doesnt work so well when i am in pain! i find it very hard to pole without pushing myself, i forget and lose control and just want to fly! which doesnt help when i am nursing some injury, and i have had times where i regretted not being stronger with myself and staying off the pole. in these times yoga and breathing exercises are my softer companions with less chance of exacerbating any pain...always supportive and understanding but not demanding. i think you are well on the path to learning to fully appreciate yourself and all that your body goes through, and to be thankful not frustrated, and it will surely thank you for this time and patience and love =)
Stefana of Light · 6/17/2015
Allyson you are a doll. Very kind of you :):) I agree with you, the pole is just one apparatus. I love how once I discovered my inner juke box I would dance throughout the days, moving is what we are meant to do;) mindfulness is changing my whole life game I have to add. Without it my life would be mundane and unfulfilled simply be not being aware of myself and surrounding fully. I can never loose this lesson I've learned unless I choose misery. with my old mind this would be another horrible and depressing block in my road towards victory and glory. Now i see everything is as it should be, always. Being present is something I think most people think they are until the realization of a busy mind is made. Most minds are unruly. That's why we need more yoga in the states !! I know Its happening... I feel a conscious awakening happening in so many ways, Pole is absolutely What shook me awake to help me realize I am deserving of enjoyment, pleasure and success. I have to say I do not know where I would be without yoga, and YOU Allyson are the fine gem that I introduced me and for that I will forever be greatful to you:) The little city I live In Just did an outdoor free yoga week and that was beautiful to know this state that I live In, That's about 5 years behind times, is slowly catching on to the reality of peace and body harmony!!
Veena · 6/17/2015
I'm not great at following the plan myself, at least when it comes to anything that is just for ME! I can follow and finish perfectly if it affects someone that isn't me. I guess that's why personal training was a natural fit for me. So guys, let me ask you this, what is it about pole that make everyone go crazy to the point where we push ourselves to the point of injury and burnout? For me, I thought it's just because that is my personality, when I find something new that's physical in nature, I work very hard to improve. However, I see so many posts and comments of not being good enough or "I can't learn this or that", they talk about quitting because they can't invert and so on. What is it about pole....... BTW, I no longer feel the need to be the over achiever when it comes to pole, in fact it's not been up for 2 weeks now and I've been perfectly happy, I'm thinking I'll put it up soon. Until that point I'm doing yoga, working out, lot's of balance work and hula hooping.
Stefana of Light · 6/17/2015
For me the adrenaline was a huge kicker.. It's a natural high that you just can't get from synthetic things. And having fun changes everything. Also the release found in creating flow is magic and I think after so many years of stuffing my emotions thoughts and creative ideas away this was the perfect way to open back up. However because my mind was a mess, I couldn't and didn't even try to control the impulse to pole it trick any moment of any day. Wrong choices. So I think for me it did feel nice to conquer New tricks and to even be able to day I Did This! Or maybe even to please the world around me through sharing myself. I've always lived to please the world around me and yes Veena you are right. I will follow through most certainly if some one else is at stake or involved. I never held that standard for myself until recently. I deserve peace from within , not from accomplishing outwardly things. Thnaks for your light and love Veena. I'm interested to hear what others think make us push to hard ... Besides that darned EGO ;) the things we do can be wild in order to feel loved or accepted.
Tamarinda · 6/17/2015
I'm fixing to unleash an ugly side of my personality. But maybe others feel as I do. Veena I think it's compare and despair. I know we're not supposed to but I think everyone does. I wasn't good when I started and I wouldn't consider myself a "real pole dancer" until I could climb the top. When I finally climbed I wouldn't consider myself a "good pole dancer" till I could at least do a spin. That turned into a basic invert which turned into a chopper, then to an Arial chopper, then to a jade, and so on and so forth. I don't know when it will end for me. With all the new tricks and things from all over the world coming out I will never be "good". I used to satiate my feelings of unworthiness by dancing and just feeling great after. That doesn't even do anything for me at the moment which is why I'm going to get into weight training atm because that gives me a good adrenaline rush right now. My mind is rather unhealthy. It got to the point where I would do a new trick and wouldn't care because my thinking was, "who cares, everyone has seen this a hundred times before. It's nothing special. What's the point of posting it." I think this happens in every sport and pole is becoming more popularized with gymnasts, circus people, and people from different countries raising the stakes. There is also something else that has crossed my mind lately. In the lifting community there is a natty vs unatty movement going on. It's basically people arguing over steroid use. This got me to thinking that I don't know what my pole "idols" are doing behind closed doors. With the stakes being raised I'm sure they feel the pressure as well. What if the people I am looking up to are getting to their point by methods that I'll never be willing to use. Therefore I will never be like them. We kind of need hope to progress and steroid use kills hope a bit but I'm not mad if anyone who chooses to do it and i know they still work hard. I can admire them and their dancing but I can't look up to certain things and expect to get there with 10 years of hard work and consistency. I'm not saying pole pros are doing steroids, but what if some are and some could be. This is all a problem within myself and if I show a laymen my pole dancing they think it's great. All I see is floppy feet, a belly, and how it's not as smooth as I want. I try and show someone a clean chopper I've worked hard at and they're more impressed with the ending Scorpio that wasn't as hard to achieve. They think the trick I'm showing them is the scorpio lol. To the laymen I'm great, to the pole community I feel like a little unworthy tadpole in a pond of like tiger fish who can do like fonjis and stuff. Lol.
RaspberryAlice · 6/17/2015
I was always fascinated by exotic pole dancers and thought it was strong and beautiful. So when I finally found a studio and actually gave it a go, it was pure bliss. BUT....that love got real twisted real quick due to the studio's environment. I was always pushed to "keep up". I constantly searched for ways to stand out and I became someone overtime that I deeply regret. I became hyper competitive, jealous, and flat out mean. If you were a "trickster" I was even meaner and cold. I simply craved the teachers attention and classmates admiration more than pole itself. Fast forward to a year and half of this and it suddenly hit me one day. I was friendless, bored, the teacher basically ignored me and I decided to take a break. I wasn't in love anymore. I didn't like who I was. So I was without pole for a year and I never not thought about it. I loved it. Missed it. Dreamed about it. Got my own pole 2 months ago and it took a while to unwire those studio ways. I learned to pole for myself now. My daughter and husband, my only audience beside IG, watches me with admiration even if it's just an inverted V. I now crave the way my body feels when I do it and the burn/bruises after. I love the way my body has changed since I've started again. Yes, I get over excited when I nail a new trick or see a combos I can try. I get annoyed and upset when I fail or see things that seem so far away. But I don't feel that NEED to be better cause well...its me! I have nothing but time. Its not going away. There's no levels anymore. Lesson learned was I'm someone who doesn't do good in a studio environment and I think that's what can help or hinder a pole dancer. (This felt like a ramble....sorry. But I sooooo know how this all feels.)
Tamarinda · 6/17/2015
I loved reading your story RaspberryAlice :)
Stefana of Light · 6/17/2015
I have never been in a studio.. I could see how the competition would be unreal, I always had a vision that studios were full of loving women motivating each other from a pure place of sister space. But the competitiveness is what we've been taught from a young age. Be the best. Do the best. Proove yourself. So yes in learning lessons !! Glad you found a juicy space with your pole now:)
Phoenix Hunter · 6/18/2015
RaspberryAlice, i always relate so much to your posts. I was thinking about it today and I came to the conclusion that I cant do any tricks class in a studio right now. I get too nervous, I feel pressure, I dont feel safe. some of that is environment related some of it comes from within. I just learn tricks better on my own and maybe when I'm ready and more comfortable I could have an instructor help me out. but I dont feel that way about taking choreo/pole classes. I dont feel that same stress as I do when I'm trying to do tricks in class. Shoog, I keep feeling pain after I invert and do inverted tricks. I'm really having to evaluate how I do things and take care of myself. Im glad you shared your story, I need to take care of these things now so i dont really injure myself. Inverts just seem so easy for some people, but they are not easy at all and really can do a number on your body. I've been working on handstands and I feel I've gained alot of strength from that and its fun. :) its helping me with pole too.
joiceiamara · 6/18/2015
Recently I started yoga and I am really loving it. I realized that my breath is horrible. I realized how much anxiety exist inside me. It began as a way to gain force and flexibility for pole and it helped to understand to respect my body. I also like doing headstand and handstand as a way to prepare my body for other things. And about your stories with studios, I am feeling truly blessed. I had the luck to find a studio with such a good environment. It is a very small studio and we are only 14 girls at this moment, including the two instructors. And I can say that we are friends, we all know each other, even the ones who is not in the same schedule. My studio it not the better place, we don't have a large space, the floor it's not the better to do floorwork, I find it really expensive... but I really don't care because I realize that I have fun in class. I do it on saturdays and I wait the whole week for this moment. And I don't think it would be the same in a different place. And we are very supportive with each other. Every time when I see someone achieving a move that I can't do and feel bad about it, someone point out something that I can do and how much I improved. And we are also compreensives. There is no rush, there is no pressure. What I feel is a incentive to give the best of me. And because of this, I am now feeling different about the whole pole experience. And most important. A while ago I was very frustrated for not be able to invert. But recently I realized that my instructor don't really force me into it. When she wants me to do some move that requires an invert, she helps me to do it properly so I don't have to jump into it. So I realized that the rush was always in my head!!
Stefana of Light · 6/18/2015
Inverts are a big deal... Breath seems to Be just a big!! I always remember Veena saying.. Now remember to breath! But if you don't have a connection To your breath trying to regulate breath can be next time impossible. I didn't realize how shallow of a breather I was until my yoga practice began. Yoga teaches me what I had no idea I was missing. Yoga taught me true breath. Interesting Phoenix- similar to me. No pain while doing it but the next day these rhomboids ouch! I'm glad this post is helping whoever it may!