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pole stigma…:(
so over the weekend i introduced my new found hobby to a small group of my girlfriends at college. they fell in love and instantly becamed hooked. eventually i had invited a group of random females passing by the dorm to come try out my dance pole. it was hit, they loved it to the point that i was encouraged to bring my pole to an out doors common area on a saturday night (at a college campus). i was nevervous about the reactions but to my surprized many women but mostly males were interested in learning crazy tricks….however one dude, who was such a drunk bro douche bag, made a comment about it being a stripper pole. i wasnt offended, i just politely corrected him and told him that its a dance pole, but he wasnt having that, he said" no, its a stripper pole, and those are stripper moves, ppl dont just do that anywhere now do they? " as i tried to correct him again and blab about pole history, his imediate reaction was to put his hand in my face as he said "whatever dude" and walked away.
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19 Replies
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Don't let one misinformed, loser, douchebag ruin the good you've done and the fun you had. There are some people that will never change their mind about pole. Just think about all the people you did reach, and how many of them will spread the good word about pole.:)
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With idiots like that it is better just to ignore them. HOWEVER if they step into my pole space I reserve the right to "accidentally" kick them.
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"accidentaly" kick them! Love that!
Regardless of what it is we value there will be somoene that will take objection to it. Except maybe crochet? This guy was clearly rude, a hater and acting inappropriately. You did not solicit his feedback, he just had to blab about his perceptions. Okay 'dude'… thanks for sharing. Maybe there is an empty beer bottle or rock he can find to share his thoughts with.
Now getting to what is important… You! Enjoy your pole! We all face judgement and criticism from our love of pole. Sometimes often. I read the situation before I respond to it and it is based on my feelings at the time and what is going on.
You can not control the reaction of others, you CAN control how you respond. Act in a way that you feel good about and then go about your day. This is your experience, don't let anyone take anything away from it.
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ignore and ignore and ignore those who are rude, negative, and judgmental. seriously. next time, just laugh and roll your eyes at him. don't give them the impression that their criticisms are doing anything but rolling off your back. and i second chemgoddess completely. when he steps too close is the next time you do a big, huge, reverse grab spin. =)
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dont even bother…. i come from a small village and its a big scandal everytime i come home …. dont even try to explain or show it bothers you .
but for this guy to put his hand on your face (or mouth ) i would have definitly kick him in the nuts…
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I love the Fiestiness in this group! LOL Oliviaaa!
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Honestly, I don't care if someone says it's a "stripper pole" about my pole. So what? They know it by going to strip clubs, because they're sad and lonely and want to look at naked people.
It's like calling a Katana a "samurai sword." It's not a sword only used by samurai, it's not named that, but that's what people call it because that's how they know it.
That guy was clearly having his time of the month, and was stuck in his own little world where he could imagine that you were, actually, stripping in your room.
And yes, there is much more history to pole dance than just the strip club…but not in THIS country (or pair of countries 😉 ), so all most people have to go on is the world of the strip club. It's like saying a Burlesque dancer is a stripper…she IS, because she's on stage, taking her clothes off, but it's quite different than a stripper.
Don't even give that guy the time of day. If he's so lonely that he has to go to a strip club, and he's seen it all so many times that he recognizes the moves they can do (and also, if the club he goes to has girls that can do a shouldermount, that's pretty impressive!), then clearly he has too much time, and not enough girls in his life. FOR A REASON.
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Don't let his comments bother you (or at the very least don't let him KNOW that his comments bothered you). He seems like he was trying to get a rise out of you. Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you upset. Some people are gonna be jerks no matter what you do.
Don't focus on that one jerk who said all that negative stuff. Focus on all the positive, encouraging people who showed up. And from what you explained, it seems like the response was overwhelmingly postive!! 🙂
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when guys act like this…i challenge them to do a twisted grip….show me you re the man…
most of time they cant do it and leave lookin stupid… lol
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i had posted this a few hours after the fact. i was a little bothered at the moment, because there were other women around, i really tried to keep a smiling face, especially since it was said in front of them….. lol if only i had a time machine i definatly wouldve demonstrated a move mid sentence, and accidentally kicked him in the nuts. Thats the best advice ever
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Don't worry about it. I've learned that sometimes, despite your best efforts, you will never be able to change the view of some people (even close friends). Spend your time and energy with those who appreciate pole for what it is: fitness, fun, challenge, art, etc.
But good job on introducing pole to your fellow students! I've found that guys are always more interested in learning because they seem to appreciate the strength and conditioning of a strength move. One of my guy friends just cannot figure out how I can to do an air invert given my size. Another one is considering pole exercises since he's jealous of how toned my shoulders have become. ha ha.
For me, I'm more annoyed at how polarized girls are when it comes to pole dancing/fitness, but that's another topic for another thread 🙂
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Way to get the word out! I get annoyed sometimes too when people refuse to get the stripper idea out of their heads, but then I remember that I can still do moves that they can't, and if they (especially if they're guys) happen to think that I strip in my free time and there's nothing I can do to change that, so be it! If they're so concerned with thinking about me being naked, well, I guess that's flattering in a way, lol. I haven't had a negative reaction from women yet, but I'd like to think that that would be due to jealousy. I mean, who doesn't want to have the confidence to show off a little and feel sexy? It doesn't make me any less of a person, and it wouldn't even if I were a stripper. In fact, I often feel empowered by it because I DON'T have to be a stripper to feel sexy and confident – and that's coming from the girl who felt like the very unpretty, unsexy prudish nerd growing up compared to everyone else around me…
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I'd have said "it's about to be a stripper pole – the second you leave!"
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I'm new to pole, started back in July, and have already had several run-ins with pole stigma. Even from family! At first, I had instinctually wanted to stop sharing with people my experiences and passion for pole. But then I realized, pole is about empowerment! Women are so often taught to sit pretty and keep their mouth shut. I'm not afraid of my body or my voice like I was growing up, and I owe a big thanks to pole for that. People who make negative comments and refuse to see past their stereotypes are just plain ignorant. At the end of the day, I just remind myself that the way pole makes me feel and the benefits it has in my life and to my body far outweigh the static I catch from people who are close minded and negative.
Remember: it's not what they call you, it's what you answer to! https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_e_wink.gif
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LOL @JeHanne. I have had people give me tons of shit about crocheting. Apparently, it's for old ladies. And a waste of time. No hobby is safe!
You just have to do what makes you happy. There is ALWAYS going to be someone who doesn't "get it".
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