Bluesioux
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Thanks everyone! I'll be trying all of these methods, since i'm so desperate 😛 and danzn16, should I keep doing all those same stretches everyday until I achieve the full splits or should I move on to other stretches after a certain point?
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Runemist, I think that's a good idea, to start small. Something that I find terrifying is talking to strangers on the phone, or answering the phone. I can't even order a pizza because I get so self conscious about it and feel like im too stupid to know how to properly order a pizza. I know it sounds pathetic, but something in my head just makes me feel like talking on the phone is like talking to the devil. I can't even bring myself to return stuff at the mall because i'm too scared to approach the sales person or i'll feel embarassed and like im an amateur.
Ollie, I TOTALLY understand what you mean, i'm the exact same way with pushing people away and slowly losing friends. Everything you said in that post really hit home to me, and i'm scared that since i'm starting university in the fall i'm going to be all alone with no friends except for my boyfriend. I want to make some new friends, but I don't want a huge social circle. I'm one to feel more comfortable having a few good friends and some buddies here and there. I also don't party or drink, and that's basically what goes down in university at least where I live. I want to make friends wtih people who are my type.. you know?
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After reading all of this I can really connect with how everyone feels. My whole life growing up, family and friends would say that I was just shy around people. As I went through school, I knew I was shy, but I also noticed that my shyness was different from a "normal" shy. I felt like a deeper shy, and I felt like a weirdo. I've always struggled with fitting in, with impressing others, with making friends (I don't approach people at all, I only make friends with people who approach me first. I'm afraid of people I don't know). Since I was 13 (i'm now 18) i've struggled with self esteem and waves of depression. Sometimes the depression would have a reason, like how I was bullied in grade 7 for my looks and for my "wierdness" and my withdrawal type personality. Other times I would be depressed for no reason at all, or just a bunch of little things overwhelming me. This past year i've been dealing with a lot of stress, panic, anxiety, depression, because my parents started having really bad fights that lead to a divorce and then a dead beat dad who used to be my best friend and now has nothing to do with me (everyone thinks i get my withdrawn/shy personality from him).
Lately i've been withdrawing even more than usual. I got better in grade 10 and tried to seem less like a freak who sits in the back of the class and who talks to no one. But I find when something upsets me, I go back to my withdrawing ways. I've lost a lot of friends due to my on and off depression, when the depression is gone/lurking under the surface I tend to make new friends but as soon as it comes back, bam, i'm alone. I also constantly feel separated from the world, and sometimes i'll have a sudden realisation that I exist. For example i'll be watching tv with my boyfriend and suddenly i'm like "Woah, i'm here, watching tv. With a boyfriend… I exist…?". I haven't talked to anyone about my anxiety/depression aside from close friends and my boyfriend. I want to tell my doctor about it, but im scared of antidepressants and im also scared of talking to a therapist, like I mentioned before I'm afraid of strangers, plus I hate crying infront of others because I was brought up being told to stop crying everytime I did.
For the past 2 years i've been struggling with trying to get my first job and getting my lisence, my anxiety is what prohibits me from those things. I've done my driving test 3 times already and can't pass it because my anxiety is out of control and I can't concentrate on doing good, i'm so focused on what the tester is marking down and what they are thinking, I even forget who I am or what i'm doing. As for a job, i've applied to many places but my resume doesnt stand out much since once again, i'm afraid of strangers therefore my skills section and experience/volunteer section are lacking. I also stutter or say "umm" or lose my train of thought a lot when I force myself to talk to a stranger.
This anxiety makes me feel worthless and like I won't go anywhere in life because it keeps me from doing so many things. I'm constantly talking to myself in my head about how stupid I am and how my life is a waste.
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I'm not sure if i'd be able to afford massage therapy that's the thing, since I live with my mom and we only live off of her income plus all the money I get outside of that is being saved for school since I start university in the fall. I haven't ever had any injuries, I find my shoulders and back are sore in the morning so i'm pretty sure it's the way I sleep and also my pillow. I need one for side sleepers that won't make me have all my weight on my shoulder while I sleep.
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Iguana mount! thats what i'm talking about https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheers.gif
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So glad to see lots of canadians on here 🙂 and hello to others around the world as well! I'm new on the site and ready to start getting/giving tips like everyone else woohoo https://www.studioveena.com/img/smilies/icon_cheers.gif
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Hey! Actually I think i've been in your class once.. on a tuesday a couple months ago, haha! I'm Mauresa, and I dance wednesdays at 7:30 with Christy. Used to be tuesdays at 7:30.
And savy you have snow? wow what a difference 😛
