Charley
Forum Replies Created
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I will be Palace, lol! I think a few Vixens are coming too, Nekia will likely perform. I can’t wait to see everybody!
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It’s April 11-13 just outside ofmDetroit. More details at http://www.poledancefest.com
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In general I will not use the “I’m not a stripper line” unless I am very uncomfortable. I was at the Drs. Office a couple of months ago seeking treatment for a cyst on my groin and I explained this thing is painfully getting worse because of pole and I was my wits end. I explained I teach and perform pole and that I am infact not a stripper the Dr. responded “so what if you were?” I loved her instantly. My surgeon on the other hand who happens to be male needed the clarification I felt like. I’m set up for removal on Wednesday and he wanted to book an OR room because he thought I’d be uncomfortable with him being close to my business. I realized in trying to clarify and make the point to my Dr that he somehow thought I was extremely conservative. As long as he knows he’s not seeing it at its best I’m cool, hahaha.
So yeah, I’ve learned it’s never necessary to clarify how I pole just clarify what I do on a pole. No one cares if I have clothes on or not.
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I can certainly talk to Summer and arrange that 🙂
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Dirty Girl samples will be available at Pole Fest!!!! 😀
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I don’t think pushing a specific dress code will lower potential exposure but I think it could inhibit many women. Part of showing up in booty shorts and a sports bra is the self acceptance. It doesn’t matter what your body looks like but how we feel in regards to it. I’m loving the comments made by many posters talking about their journey into pole appropriate wear. Day one we often show up in bike shorts and a tank top, we hide our bodies because we are afraid. I think imposing modesty requirements is stupid when you realize most women are too modest to wear the required pole clothing in the beginning.
A prime example of modest wear is the monokini, the monokini is a big culprit of nip slips because the fabric gets stuck on the pole and hello nips! I see part of my job is to teach what to wear and help clients maintain their desired level of modesty which means dealing with butt cheeks and nipples. Ill never condemn a slip here and there and am always available for clothing discussions.
Even in mixed gender classes I guess I just give adults enough credit to look away and understand. My breasts have popped out of sports bras before. I’m lucky enough to be able to test drive clothes before class
not everyone wants to pole for two hours before class. It’s rare that anyone purposely tries to immodest. That’s all I’m saying. We need to approach this subject with sensitivity. -
No one ever tries to show private parts but I can say without a doubt I’ve seen some nipple and labia in class. It’s ok. It’s just we don’t always get to to test clothes, sometimes the clothing sticks to grip on the pole, whatever. I’ve had some wild experiences with this like the girl showing up in a thing for class but to be fair most people are trying to find shorts that work with pole. I have happy nipples that often like to peak out, lol! It’s embarrassing. I once demoed the superman and my student replied “and the your nipple pops out!” And there she was when I looked down so I joked that’s when you know you’re doing it right. And jumped off the pole to fix it.
This stuff generally only happens in advanced classes because we need tiny clothes and lots of skin, there is bound to be exposure at some point.
On a funny note, I’ve been dealing with an ingrown hair that turned into a cyst that turned into a swollen gland. I’ve been rocking the 70’s in my pants unable to shave and Drs aren’t excited to remove it. I’m too afraid to mess with any hair removal as you can understand and wearing long shorts has sucked and even long yoga shorts don’t do the trick. There have been a few times when my “third testicle” as I dearly call it has jumped out in pole since its on my thigh not in my business. It’s very embarrassing and sometimes hair pops out,,ugh. My students have been so supportive, it’s just a little pubic hair. No one wants to see it but if I’m demoing a straddle they get it, they avert their eyes from the horror that is my business, lol. I see the surgeon again tomorrow here’s hoping he cuts that bad boy out and I can go back to my regularly scheduled waxing and tiny shorts.
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These are great poles no question. The thing is they are short and the space is limited. For $350 I would pass – you could buy a one piece with vaulted adapter for taht much money. The X-stage at $550 is an amazing deal – you will likely be happier with it than the origial PS pole as it is much taller. Do look into some other options that were mentioned though because for the price you might find investing in a semi perm pole to be the way to go.
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It’s never good to put a time frame on strength or flexibility gains. There are some safe and proven methods of gaining flexibility in a rather short period of time such as resistance stretching which can be done more often that passive, deep stretching and yin yoga once a week. Remember that flexibility isn’t just how much you can stretch but it’s also how strong you are. You want to build strength and flexibility simulanteously, this is why ballet is so great for flexibility training, you gain lots of strength in your hips and you are generally engaging your legs through stretches and movements. This will help you build flexibility very quickly. Deep stretching is very good or improving your active flexibility and splits in the air. You’ve also got to build flexibility and strenght though out your legs not just hips, you can have open hips and tight calves or example and you will not be able to get all the way down. So basically everything has to stretched and strengthened. If you are too sore for stretching one day, take a break do simple movements to warm up your body but don’t try to stretch exhausted muscles.
It took me nearly a year to get down close to splits and that’s cool. I havent been able to do much as of late so I know I’ve lost some strength and flexibility and I will reenter that slowly once I am back up and running.
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Hahaha Kori, I just noticed. I’m on my iPad so I don’t notice. We’re friends now! :D. I hope to see you in April!
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You are not a difficult student. Trust me. I’m the same way, it takes me months to do what most people do much quicker. It’s okay though because the harder you work to get it, the more you enjoy it. If it all came easy it wouldn’t be as much fun…or that’s what I tell myself 😉
Enjoy the journey. There are so many varying aspects to pole that you can spend a lifetime discovering it all.
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I am really enjoying everyone’s thoughts on this. I’m also so happy that we can have this type of open conversation in a safe and loving way. When this suggestion was brought to me I knew immediately that it was a complex conversation and could be controversial. It’s through these conversations that we make a better pole world for everyone and Veena, many thanks for giving us an open forum to discuss these topics.
I believe “plus size” needs to be self determined. I don’t even love that term, is there a better term? I also believe that creating a competition for plus size dancers NEEDS to be as important as any other division. It would need to be done in a way that highlights dancers instead of making the statement that they are incapable and that is a very fine line.
Pso and Midwest both come to mind when I think of competitions that provide diversity and celebrate it. I personally prefer skill level based criteria because I love seeing everyone on the stage but I’m also not plus sized and not dealing with EMOTIONAL component of competing against someone who I feel has added advantages based on size. I mean, I certainly deal with my set of issues competing like lack of flexibility and wow moves but those are things I can readily change if I hunker down.
This is an extremely complex discussion because we are dealing with how we view ourselves and others AND layering in a competitive environment that judges someone’s ability and art. It’s deeply personal and at the same time it’s a conversation we need to be having as pole pushes forward. It’s about creating as much equity as we can to provide the safest places and opportunities for others with fairness and love so that we can celebrate everyone’s unique contributions to pole.
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Polergirl, this was my thought too as I don’t know what is plus size or not. I know extremely in shape women that are curvy that fall into the “plus size” border.
To play devils advocate here: I think competitors can be very positive and can be done in a loving environment. I also believe to survive any competitive field you have to have a strong inside. I like the range of competitions today for the most part because we are seeing more inclusion like at PSO, Midwest, Florida pole championships, etc. I believe competition is not for everyone and it takes a very healthy prison mentally to do it.
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@JB – Can I please USE that name??? I LOVE IT! I love using the pole for conditioning and cardio – you can come up with some super effective ways of keeping your posture while doing some tough conditioners. LOVE it! *disclaimer – not that I ever do it unless in a class, hahahah!*
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I think at the end of the day to each studio it’s own. You must find what works for you in all ways. If you think that a dress code will somehow bring in more people then do it! Do what you believe in and what will make your business successful!
Instructors – It’s very important for you to make up your mind about such policies and figure out what you believe, in regards to pole. Don’t work someplace that doesn’t fall inline with your message or your thoughts. I know it’s hard to walk away! I’ve done it, and in quite an ugly fashion I might add, but once tempers simmer down you can always go back and fix your relationship with the owner – I know because I did that as well. You can have a great professional relationship even if you walked away. It’s important to be working and teaching in a way that makes you authentic and gives you the opportunity to provide the best for your clients. If a dress code policy is a hindrance to that (for me I know it would be) then you have to choose: Stay and follow the rules or Leave and figure something else out. Conversely if not having such a policy in place is making you feel uncomfortable – for example: too many vagina’s that you don’t wish to see – then you need to talk to the owner and maybe implement something or again walk away. We as independent contractors must always bear in mind the burden of the business in on the owner not us. No matter how much work you may be doing, you may even feel like you are running the whole show, and even if you are the reality is the success or failure rests on the person paying the bills. If it’s a failure you won’t be paying the money to get out of debt the owner will be. So we should all be very careful in putting down certain policies and recognize no one is attempting to implement something to destroy but to build.
With that said. I personally believe that sexy clothing where appropriate is an important step in all pole dancers journey – we all may not come to it at the same time. Some may pole dance for a few years before embracing the sensual side and choosing to experiment with sexy clothing. We all will at some point.
Another finding I’ve observed through teaching sexy classes is that while students used to look absolutely horrified when I’d make my grand entrance is 7 inch heels and lingerie and welcome them for class, in those 45 minutes I not only taught them how to FEEL sexy but I forced them to take the first step for real self confidence. I presented them with an image that makes them uncomfortable, an image they may hate, how often, despite how enlightened we may be have we hated on the “sexy” girl. How many times have we assumed since she’s dressing in a very sexy way that she’s self absorbed or mean? How many times have we simply not given her a chance because we are comparing ourselves to HER and in doing that we begin to HATE her, feeling like we cannot live up to her image? I know that I have and I’m not proud but competition is human nature. By dressing in a way that is provocative but being the teacher, the giver, the one who empowers and raises up while wearing lingerie and 7 inch heels, I’m teaching the girls to look at themselves, to see themselves as the sexy, sensual creatures they are. Often times girls would say things like “it looks sexy when you do it, but not on me” and my reply would be – “it’s the shoes, their magic!” or something silly. Then I would make them move slow, look and see how sexy they are, I’d pick something very special about their movement – like the way their long legs push their butt out in a sexy arch or how how sexy their booty is when they do figure 8’s or how graceful they step around the pole. When we can let go of what other women do, act or look like, when we STOP comparing, we understand that beauty is something embodied by every woman, when we can let go of our cattiness and accept in other women, we ourselves are on a path to TRULY OWNING OUR SEXY.
After only 45 minutes most women would sign up again to take the class. Within 45 minutes a lot of girls would ask “Where do you get your outfits?” “Should I bring shoes?” “Is it easier with shoes?” I’d always share my favorite places like Bad Kitty and local stores that sell “stripper” shoes and most of them the next week would come in with a pair of heels!!! Realize just 45 minutes ago they were looking at me in HORROR – utter HORROR. I could see the judgment on their face, I could see and often hear them discussing how “slutty” I looked, how it’s not what they signed up for. In just 45 minutes we all became FRIENDS and are sharing places to get lingerie! In just 45 minutes everyone was laughing and having a great time and connecting. In 50 minutes I am showing pictures of my pole wear when I started, the long tank tops the long SKORTS, I can share with them my story – how I was a professional with a job and how pole changed my life.
In one week most girls cam in with heels and funky shorts. I could see them embracing THEIR sexy and THEIR style. I would be so amused with the new clothes – everything from zebra print to holographic hot pants to light up “stripper” shoes to monokini’s to plunging necklines. Each woman started to play with different pieces and you could see the transformation.
To me, clothing is VERY powerful in how we perceive it, how we wear it and how judge people in it. So just something to think about in regards to dress codes. If you’re not into sexy – disregard this whole, verbose post. lol!