[Charley]

I have had a share of very unique experiences in regards to this that I will share.

To the question: Should a studio have a dress code? Yes. We need to have at least minimal standards by which everyone can easily abide by, for example – everyone needs to cover their Vajajay. To some this seems OBVIOUS – but it’s not.

ALL below stories are true and infact actually happened to me

Case Study 1: Teaching a Group Class on Saturday Morning

I was teaching at a dance studio (non–pole) on weekends. This studio was a talent studio so they would offer classes in dance, acting, singing, etc. On weekends the owner would hold auditions in the office and I would teach pole class in the front studio. All classes were group classes.

One Saturday morning in mid summer, booking was light, I looked and saw only 1 student in class. It was a gorgeous day so instead of cancelling, I chose to hold the class anyway. Keep in mind this is GROUP class not a private and this student had no idea who would be in the class – she got lucky it was just me. When my student shows up she shows up with a man and asks if he can stay. She’s the only one in the class – I have no issue with this but I let her know this is a GROUP class and I am BENDING the rules as I never let people observe but since it’s just her today it’s fine. I ask her to get changed so we can begin. Right in front of me she takes her clothes off and she’s standing in a bra and g-string. I ask if she brought pole clothes, she says no, this is what she poles in. SIGH! I hear the door main door open and in walks a mother and her young son, the young boy will be auditioning today for a singing class. Awesome! I ask the student to step aside so the young boy doesn’t see her as not to offend anyone, she does, boy goes back to the office. I had only set up one pole because it was one student so here I am wiping the pole every single time this girls gets down. I’m sorry but – GSTRINGS don’t cover everything, I am NOT comfortable with this. I am nice enough to go along, teach her, nicely tell her she has to wear shorts and that had there been anyone else signed up she would have had to do the class in her pants. She agrees to bring shorts next time and leave the dude at home. Next week, larger class, she comes to class strips to her G-string and I have to ask her to put her pants back on. She gets angry because this means she will not be able to work on anything besides floor and spins. She decries racism and a whole lot of other things including that I am discriminating against her for being a stripper. I am not. I am simply asking that all orifices be completely covered. I don’t care how cheeky her shorts are but I do not find GSTRINGS to be sanitary.

Case Study 2: By dressing sexy I am making my students feel badly about themselves.

I was once told that I dressed too sexy for sexy class. I felt shamed and hurt. I was teaching sexy class, thus needed my sexy clothes to get into character to better take my students down their own journey of sensual dance. Bear in mind the class had sexy in the title. I was told students were afraid they’d seem something they shouldn’t, which is ludicrous, I always wore cheek boy shorts or bathing suit bottoms and a thong under. I was asked to teach the sexy class in shorts with a minimum of a 1 inch inseam. I freaked out and refused. I then began opening my class with a statement about my attire. “This is Sexy class, as your instructor, I need to feel sexy to teach sexy. I encourage each and everyone of you to come to class dressed in something that makes you feel sexy whether it be a long night gown, a bikini, your favorite club top, your man’s shirt, whatever makes you feel sexy and join me in exploring this part ourselves.” I was so hurt and shamed with that conversation, to be told my body made others feel badly about themselves because I was “in better shape than many of your students” hurt my heart, i’ve NEVER EVER purposely done ANYTHING to make anyone feel badly about their body. I spent each and every class complimenting my students and working with them to increase their self esteem. This incident certainly left a scar on me. The point was for everyone to have fun getting their sexy on, not judge the instructor. I had never felt so ashamed of myself.

Case Study 3: I could giver her a Brazilian – wait – she doesn’t need one as far as I can tell

I had a friend/student who was VERY sexy. So much, I love her. We were all taking a workshop one day my other friend pointed out my sexy friend doing the jade, I was like yeah nice split…she goes NO! look! I did. EEK! Too tiny of a crotch on those shorts. Here’s the thing, I have a vagina, I’m not super offended by seeing a peak of someone vagina – who cares. What I came to learn later was all of this girls shorts were like that and she didn’t wear a thong with them so all of her splits moves gave us a great look and her very hairless vagina (I kind of wanted to know if it was laser, wax or shaving because seriously, it looked really smooth – no I’m not a lesbian – just saying.) Some girls who also noticed became uncomfortable with sharing a pole with her just because of the sanitary issue. No one was insinuating she was dirty or anything else but we just felt a little icky, kinda like when someone sneezes then tries to touch you. BTW, I absolutely love this girl and her rebellious vajajay.

So I as a general rule ask students to bring shorts to class, I tell them they cannot take class in a G-string and most people giggle, but seriously I’ve had more than one occasion where someone didn’t have shorts and thought they could trick out on the pole in a G-String. I always recommend doing the vagina monster check, if you think your shorts aren’t covering EVERYTHING then get down on the floor and spread ’em and look. A good thong under your shorts will also help.

I’m also not going to sit here and pretend that my Vajajay hasn’t ever slipped out because it has, not in front of students in a class where I am teaching vagina monsters (because I do the check before class)but in pole moves like tail sit – the fabric get pulled or whatever.

In a co-ed class I do think we should have some sort of standard for pole wear because we are mixing genders and we do not want to make anyone uncomfortable. In all girl classes – honestly, who cares? BE SANITARY. Just don’t let your naked vagina touch the pole and we’re cool. We all have them and sometimes the crotch of the shorts isn’t as wide as we thought, I’m an instructor, I spot advanced moves, I have had so many body parts in my face it isn’t even funny.

To students: don’t be judgy. You’re going to a POLE class. Don’t get surprised or offended when you take a sexy class and your instructor looks like a stripper, that’s kind of the point. If you SEE something that makes you uncomfortable it’s pretty likely you’re seeing it accidentally – discreetly tell whom ever it is so they can ADJUST and not have everyone gossiping about them behind their back. Trust me – I’d want to be told. On a side note but related, my agent Kat is my super bestie because when I’m on my period and I’ve bled through my shorts – she always tells me so I can change and clean up – and I have issue with it because I can’t wear tampons. We are ALL women, let’s stop being judgmental and focus on what’s SANITARY. No one is purposely making you look at their vagina. *except maybe case study 1? lol*

[Charley]

And they’d probably have to apply for a work visa about 6 months ahead of time. I am not sure how it works or how expensive they are. I think there are temp visas that are good for about 6 months – 1 year. I imagine ones who don’t get turned away either filed the appropriate paperwork or just said they were visiting family/friends or something.

Plus when crossing, so you can randomly be detained for no reason. I’ve been pulled into customs more than a few times and had them search my car – why? no clue. sometimes they question you too, so if someone were detained at customs for any reason the truth likely comes out.

[Charley]

Okay, I actually have some insight into this. I remember a few years ago driving Amber to Canada for some workshops and there was an issue. My bf is Canadian so crossing into Canada isn’t new to me and neither is the scary border guards. It’s always important when traveling to be honest with your answers so I told the guard I was taking Amber to the train station and she would be headed to London to teach some classes. This presented a big problem because you must have a work visa in Canada (and US) to make money. Anyway, Amber nearly missed her train being detained and questioned, I forget the resolve, something about her being a performer or something and that granted her access – I forget.

I assume those using air travel probably were honest about their reasons going to CA and that’s why they were denied entry or in the least someone suspected they were going there to work. Same goes in the US – you must be legal to work here and if you don’t have the appropriate paper work you aren’t allowed in.

As much as it sucks we really all need to be careful with this kind of stuff there are very heavy penalties for working illegally not just to the instructor but to the business too.

[Charley]

Thanks so much of all of the information, I’m on day 3 of antibiotics and it seems a bit smaller. I’m wondering if the draining is so etching a dermatologist or my family Dr could do? My dr referred me to a surgeon, I don’t have insurance and I assume a surgeon would be more?

[Charley]

Thank you so much, Aerial Gypsy. Sounds like a drama, not looking forward to this. I’m just going to try to get it done asap so I can go back my regularly scheduled hip holds.

Thanks Chemmie! I’ll grab the Sally version too!

[Charley]

David Owen actually took one of my signature sexy classes a few years ago when I was teaching at a studio. It never even occurred to me that it might be weird since I’ve k own him for awhile. Even though the class was sexy he went right a long with it and performed all the slow rolls and grinds. I think because he was into the workout none of the girls were bothered by it and I think a few enjoyed seeing him struggle a bit with body waves but were impressed with his movement and flexibility.

Personally, I think don’t feel like its right to only allow men to take privates, especially because they are more expensive but I do think there should be clearly labeled classe that allow men and clearly labeled classes that don’t. I think it’s important to provide a safe environment for everyone so I think providing both types of classes is important. Some women use pole as an escape so no matter how cool the guy is they kind of want a girl zone and that’s ok and should be provided but men also have the right to take this journey so long as they follow the class guidelines. Trust me, no guy is really going to enroll in pole class to ogle women, not when they themselves are expected to pole dance mostly you will get sincere male students.

I also don’t think sexual identification matters much either, I know many straight males who like to take a go in heels and get their grind on and conversely some gay men who would never, ever wear heels. We also reserve the right to refuse service to any student regardless of gender who is disrupting class. I think it’s about clear marketing and providing a wide range of product and labeling them. Some groups really embrace men and enjoy having them even in a sexy class others won’t but if you create space for everyone there’s room for everyone 🙂

[Charley]

I just ordered the Tendskin sample to see how I do with it.

AerialGypsy – THANK YOU so much for sharing that with me. I am at the part where it’s thinning now and getting burned from the pole, so I am taking time off of hip held moves (on that side.) I assume this isn’t the kind of procedure where I need to be knocked out, right? I’ll be sure to never reuse an razor, I generally don’t for my bikini line but I will for legs and I do get them on my legs – they just go away. My Dr. told me not to shave before class or pole but after as my skin can rest for about a day , she said the friction of the pole against freshly shaved skin can cause these, as can improper shaving, etc, etc, but I find no matter how I shave I will still get ingrown hairs. Just nothing like this. Thank you again for sharing – I am a little freaked out – I’ve never had a medical procedure donw so I’m a little scared.

[Charley]

Yes please! I was actually trying to the k of a way to use my lite pieces around my pole so I can dance in heels! This would be awesome!

[Charley]

For my festival I’m just not allowing song holding. Basically I have 50 songs to deal with and I do feel like performers and my festival is a lot of new performers, should be able to express themselves to whatever they want. With that many performances it would be too easy for someone’s first choice to be taken and even second and I would hate for someone to not be able to do their best or not be able to connect because they were forced to pick something that didn’t do it for them. In competitive environments I get it though because ya comparative.

I’ve also heard people say to never compete to a song made iconic like Felix’s goo goo dolls routine because judges will be thinking about her and comparing. That makes me sad in a way.

[Charley]

Yes, I lost my janeiro now it scares me to even try, it’s like my body forgot what it felt like. I’m so bummed I juts adored that move.

[Charley]

I use both Skype and FaceTime to give and receive lessons. It works pretty much as you describe. Pop on, say hello and get to work. You have to be very verbal with Skype and be able to take/give direction really well and really communicate. I love it. Make sure you’ve got good speakers though, my laptop isn’t loud so I usually have to use externals to hear.

[Charley]

I wouldn’t be surprised if USPDF resurfaces at some point. It’s expensive to run these events and its hard to get venues in NYC. I saw Wendy over the summer and although she didn’t give me any information I was left with the impression that this something she wants/plans to keep doing. I really like USPDF and what they were doing in regards to promoting the heels and sexy through their mandatory required heels in the compulsory round, I like how everyone had to do the same moves for that round too, I like the optional being a free format for artists. I like the concept a lot.

With the absence of USPDF this year I’ve noticed there were a couple of comps using the title “US National Championship” so it will be interesting to see what would/will happen if USPDF does in fact resurface. It will be interesting to see if it carries the same prestige. USPDF will always hold a special place in my heart as its the first organization I ever competed with.

Too bad about APFC, and they may also resurface. Competitions are changing, scoring is changing and the industry is changing I wonder if these first organizations just need a minute to catch up and be able to define themselves and their brand in this new world of competitions. And bear in mind these organizations as most with pole are run by single people who generally also run studios and have jobs, so it’s a lot of work on just one super human.

[Charley]

I love you x-pole tech! I’ve used weights on my lite before. Very easy. I’m happy to hear about the stage specific weights and will get them.

Also you can buy a shorter pole piece and use it in a house. I did that so I could practice on it. I think the extension was only $30 and if your order it with the stage they will
Pack it and thus saves shipping on it.

[Charley]

And yes as far as I understand, but please ask, your home is safe so long as you are a legal business entity Llc or inc. for home owners if your mailman slips and falls on ice in your driveway, your liable, so any injury incurring on your property could be against your homeowners or renters and of course personal assets. I work like personal trainers who offer in home private care as opposed to having them at my house. And yep, parties are covered under basic instructor insurance last I heard. Now, keep in mind insurance changes all the time so do write down and ask all of these questions, to be sure you are getting the right product.

[Charley]

She may have been misinformed. It’s a misconception that contractors are covered. I was told that for many years too working at studios. Nobody was trying to,spread bad info just they don’t know all the ins and outs of contractors vs employees. Usually pole instructors are technically employees according the IRS list of 16 questions. So,if the insurance company said employees are covered I’m betting that the owner assumed you were not thinking through the contractor vs employee and j defeat ding any difference,

Do share though. It’s really important information to have. If taxes are not taken out of your check then you need insurance is the basic rule.